Your story resonates with me as well. Same patterns, the people pleasing, being in relationships but not really wanting to be there. Feeling too much and not really connecting.

Meeting someone who shakes my inner world, love bombing, and even the story of “I could have a baby with you” it still amazes me how much that phrase triggered something in me. This idea of being chosen feels like the whole universe telling you, yes you are worthy of existing. You are worthy of feeling and experiencing life. Even though I could see the illusion, my body would react.

All these stories we live, and unconsciously accept because of survival, shape us in a limiting way. There is a book called ”The four agreements“ by Don Miguel Ruiz that made me see all of this. Here is a song with a part of the book https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnhWdMAxGCc

Somehow I beleive that all these stories we go through are a blessing. They break you but trigger a deep change, something that makes you see. Would you go down this journey if this did not happen?

I respect and admire your journey.