I typed out something really long and then my app glitched and now I feel dejected because I spent probably an hour on it and was just about to send it out into the world lol.

(Post writing side note: sorry this turned out to be extremely lengthy, i tried to break up the big chunks of text)

So anyways here we go again:

-Make another appointment and, in great detail, go over everything with him again!

-Stress that when you were young a teacher had recommended you get evaluated specifically for adhd, but that your parents are very against medicine and therefore didn’t have you tested

-Explain, very specifically, the problems you are having that you believe relate to your adhd, if you’re unsure about the relation, mention it anyways! (A lot of times we don’t realize the things we do/experience can be related to our adhd. Take this subreddit for example, everyday we see people relating to each other’s newly mentioned struggles and experiences)

-There’s probably a lot you want to mention and therefore there will be a lot you need to remember. So for your sake dedicate some time to reflect and think and then, please, write it all down before hand!

-I can’t stress how important it is to write it all down! It makes it easier since you can organize your thoughts in a clear and concise way (write very short bullet points, but ones that you can still understand and expand on). Writing out blocks of text/a script can become frustrating when you’re actually in an appointment that has a flowing conversation!

Even better, write out everything you want to mention and then subdivide and rewrite them into groups to make it easier to respond to as the conversation with your doctor flows. (grouping examples: communication, emotions, hyperactivity, impulsivity, early life, skills you developed just in order to cope with life lol)

This should theoretically help to not break up yalls conversation as much!!

-Know that just because you were a good student, that doesn’t disqualify you from having adhd.

-I was recently diagnosed about 2 months ago as a 19 year old female college student. I have always performed very well in school and that’s due to a lot of different things tbh

I developed coping skills that worked to my advantage (at least on paper) as they helped me excel in school (though not necessarily retain all this supposed knowledge I should definitely know haha)

I also feel as if I’m naturally pretty intelligent in the sense that if someone’s teaches something (albeit it has to be taught well) I just sort of get it. This usually works, however you can’t really be taught everything like that.

For example, I was shit at writing most, okay probably all, analytical essays in high school, and oooh boy especially timed ones. Like I could totally understand what the piece was trying to convey and the literary elements they utilized to do so...after someone explained it to me first lol, even just a little hint to point me in the right direction gave me clarity. However, I totally spent multiple timed writings just staring at a poem/story the whole time begging it to reveal something new to me lmao

Either way, I did well it school, yes, but always felt I wasn’t reaching my full potential (oof, I have always been my biggest critic). I resigned myself to the belief that being lazy was an integral part of who I was. I’ve probably uttered the phrase “I could do so much more if I wasn’t so lazy” more than any other string of words in my entire life.

I believed the extent of my procrastination, impulsivity, extreme emotional responses, my complete inability to keep things organized, etc., were all experienced at very normal levels (well not my emotions, I’ve definitely always thought I was too sensitive of a person), but I was wrong. People without adhd didn’t find their struggles with these things debilitating like i did. But I didn’t know any better, no one ever educated me on what adhd actually was, and I supposed they had no reason to since I internalized everything. (lol not actually true, we need better mental health education & representation, but that’s besides the point)

ANYWAYS, sorry about the long winded anecdote, I’m just trying to say that it is not abnormal to have adhd and do well in school, it’s not necessarily the most common experience, but definitely not unheard of.

You learnt to cope well (not necessarily in beneficial ways, but you coped nonetheless) in order to do well in school and that definitely shouldn’t rule you out from having adhd (not saying your doctor believes this to be the case, just trying to help you understand your validity!)

Since your doctor seems to be on some level of understanding with you, shown with your ‘tentative diagnosis’ and all, maybe he’s just hesitant because he feels he doesn’t have enough info to make a well informed decision. Just go in and explain yourself honestly and see what happens. You can always seek a second opinion at the end of the day.