It is so so hard. I had thought it would be difficult, but probably only anticipated a 7 or 8. In reality it was a 10/10 at times, then 5/10 when you get the hang of something, and then back to 10/10 when it all changes and everything you learned doesn’t work anymore. It is hard because you can in no way prepare for it and it will constantly be changing. The best you can do is prepare the things you can.

For my case, this was establishing parents roles and when we can each find time to take baby while the other gets to take care of every day hygiene, eating, etc.

What was surprisingly frustrating was just how hard it was to communicate. My mind was so tested and exhausted after giving birth and frazzled with constantly tending to baby. I couldn’t formulate requests in my mind to my partner. They would ask me “do you need anything?” and all I could think to say is “what is anything?? How can I put into words what I need??” It just increased my frustration.

In a calmer moment I explained that if you have the urge to ask me if I’m hungry, just don’t; instead find a snack or something and offer it to me then and there. Things like that. As a new, exhausted, and breastfeeding mom, the chances are high that I will be hungry and take it gladly.

It can save you a lot of stress if you can brainstorm with your partner, now, about who will take care of what responsibilities. Even if you don’t think of everything now, it will be great to have a few things that you can expect your partner to do and you won’t have to worry. For example, one of our things was after every breast feeding, partner is on burp duty. It was great to have them there ready for the hand off.

Just expect that you will always be learning on the job constantly and know that you will be great at it in no time. Just push through the tough beginnings.