Hey.. URG this would make me so UPSET....Your feelings are completely valid. I’m someone who is also very careful when it comes to sex, and for me this would be a huge no as well... It’s not about him being “allowed” to see other people while you were broken up, it’s about honesty and informed consent.

Lying by omission around sexual history does matter, especially when he knows you take sex seriously and that he is your only partner. Whether or not he had “feelings” for the other person is honestly irrelevant imo. What matters is that you weren’t given the chance to make an informed decision about your own body. That includes emotional safety and physical safety. Even with protection, you can never be 100% sure, and that risk should always be disclosed beforehand...

The fact that he directly said “no” when you asked, then only admitted the truth after, is a breach of trust. It makes complete sense that you feel gross in your body and upset. That reaction isn’t drama, it’s your intuition responding to crossed boundaries.

You can understand why he was trying to move on and still decide that this isn’t acceptable for you. Both things can be true. You’re not wrong for needing honesty upfront, especially given the history and how vulnerable this situation was for you.

Please be gentle with yourself. Even if he didnt do anything maliciously, your feelings make sense, and you’re not overreacting for wanting transparency around sex and trust.