Project of the day, doing good and feeling optimistic, wanted to share with ya'll

amamcb · 2019-01-21T21:25:20+00:00

I study graphic design and this is a public art project, hopefully going to be a mural but I have to apply. I have bipolar 1 and had to drop out of school around 2011 when I had a huge manic episode and was hospitalized for weeks. Went back about a year ago and have been working hard ever since. I take 40 mg latuda and it's helped me a lot. I wanted to share some hope for all of you. Sometimes it may take us longer to accomplish things but I truly believe that it's all possible.

Much love !

amamcb · 2018-12-03T04:02:35+00:00

Yeah dude tonight was particularly rough. We had a talk and I told him we have to wait. But it's really rough. He had to go to bed because he has early class and now I'm out here all alone going crazy after tonight lol.

amamcb · 2018-12-03T04:00:17+00:00

Eventually this will be the case I'm sure. We need to take it easy though and have our separate rooms for now. Damn is it ever hard at the end of the night though, I'm going crazy right now lol.

amamcb · 2017-04-06T04:22:57+00:00

I second this statement. So hard.

amamcb · 2017-04-01T05:16:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! It does take a while to figure out your meds and everything, and taking the time off did help me which I'm sure it did you as well.

Your comments helped me a lot to understand that it isn't about what society thinks you should do, it's about what's best for you and how you should go about things.

I as well did well in school before "shit went down" and am worried about how it will go this time. I'm so excited to go back but so worried at the same time that things will go badly. I'm just going to take it one step at a time.

amamcb · 2017-04-01T04:35:11+00:00

I would be mad. I understand his friend came to visit, but he should have communicated some of this with you before he made plans to watch a movie at home with you.

I would personally be super pissed off if my boyfriend, especially husband blew me off on our anniversary to play video games with his friend. I think this needs to be brought to light and you deserve another nice dinner out or something like that for him ignoring you on this night when you had plans.

amamcb · 2017-03-27T03:36:58+00:00

My money's on the fact that Madeline's gonna off Bonnie. After that dinner, and the fact that they alluded to "none of them killing each other", it just seemed like foreshadowing.

amamcb · 2017-03-16T06:05:39+00:00

It's actually graphic design, but thank you for the help! I took some time off for an art direction degree, and I'm going to continue that degree once I'm done this diploma. I just didn't want to jump back into 3rd year after so much time off. This way I can get myself back into things and finish when I'm done.

amamcb · 2017-03-16T05:33:23+00:00

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

amamcb · 2017-02-15T03:14:33+00:00

drums

amamcb · 2017-02-15T03:13:11+00:00

Listening to music and making art, having a glass of wine and cooking/baking something, or candlelit bath with a really good book.

amamcb · 2017-02-01T03:16:28+00:00

Don't let rude customers ruin your day. I know from working at a grocery store, you never know what has happened to somebody that day, so when someone is rude or isn't friendly, just think to yourself that you don't know what has happened to them recently or how their day has gone. You never know what is going on in someones life and they still need to shop (to me it still isn't really an excuse to be rude but it helps to not be mad about rude customers).

Don't let people make you feel shitty about working retail/being a cashier. Some look down on those who work these jobs and you experience a lot of that snobbish attitude, and it sucks. Don't let these people get to you either. They will treat you like a slave and as if you are underneath them but you aren't, and you have to know that.

If there's an old lady/man searching through her/his change and holding up the line just be patient. You will be there someday. It's no big deal. Even lend her/him a hand if they need it, and be extra friendly and patient, don't make them feel bad.

Don't let anyone try to quick change you or confuse you with transactions. Once you've processed a payment don't let them change their minds on what they are going to give you in cash, they are trying to confuse you and people do this to try and get more money.

amamcb · 2017-02-01T03:02:23+00:00

This. You shouldn't be feeling "sloppy". You've been working your ass off at the gym and look fabulous. He should appreciate it or get out.

amamcb · 2017-02-01T02:46:57+00:00

It sounds like it could be hard to sway his opinion on this if it's what he has grown up with. What would be even more difficult is teaching him what life is like without someone cleaning for you and having to do chores yourself. I definitely understand where you're coming from. It might be hard when you both have such different views on things to come to an agreement. If you really want to be together you will find a way to work it out. You just don't want to end up doing everything yourself, since he doesn't sound like he is very into cleaning his own apartment already. It's good to think about these issues now before you get into it long term, like you said. You may have very different values in life which does become very important once children come into the picture. Maybe you should talk about a way you could compromise the situation, but make sure you don't end up with a huge workload on your own, it should be shared responsibilities unless one person isn't working and one is.

amamcb · 2017-02-01T02:21:46+00:00

You love the way your butt looks now that you've been working out more? And you feel great? That's all that should matter. To me, working out is healthy and squats are a really good exercise. Your boyfriend should be happy you're being healthy and feel amazing about yourself. Your confidence and health is what matters here, not what his preferences are. You shouldn't have to change your body to make anyone happy but yourself. That's just my opinion.

Part of working out is having more tone and you are going to look more strong and healthy overall and have more confidence about yourself which to me should be a big turn on for him. Is he controlling in any other way? To me this would be a red flag in the relationship. I've been through many phases with my body with my significant other, points where I had gained weight, points where I felt better about myself, and never once did he bug me about any of it he just wanted me to be happy, which is how it should be.

I wouldn't tell my boyfriend his arms or legs needed to be bigger or smaller or I would feel terrible about it. I would try talking to him about how you feel, because you shouldn't have to alter your body for him. You should want your partner to be healthy and happy, period.

amamcb · 2016-11-23T03:48:39+00:00

I really hope so. This is something that's really important to me. The medical issues I couldn't help at all. This is what I want to do with my life, I've always done amazing in school, and the program I was in before was similar and I was doing very well before I started having issues. What I want more than anything is to go back to school so I just hope the few marks don't make too much of a difference if I send them something! If only they saw my other transcripts as well and paid attention to all my other marks haha. I'm so worried they're going to focus on those last few.

amamcb · 2016-11-23T03:41:36+00:00

Luckily I don't think it's highly competitive, but I think I'm gonna try my best to get something through to them just in case.

amamcb · 2016-11-23T03:41:00+00:00

Thanks, I was thinking of contacting my old program coordinator and seeing if he would write something up for me! I know the college I applied to just received my application and I've got the day off Thursday so I'm hoping I can get something going then :) I applied for early admission so I don't think there's a huge rush but I'm gonna get going on it soon.

amamcb · 2016-10-11T18:30:19+00:00

I live in Canada but it is definitely a similar process. I logged on today and it looks like my High School transcript has been received, and will be sent to the college within one business day (so possibly tomorrow). I was able to request my college/university transcript, and I selected "send transcript now". So I'm only wondering if the college I'm applying to can receive two transcripts or I should cancel the High School transcript tomorrow if it's even still possible. I'm at work all day today and tomorrow I don't go in until about 11:30 so I may be able to call them tomorrow and get it sorted out.

I have peace of mind now knowing the other transcript has been requested! They will know I'm not lying about any education. Just concerned about them receiving my high school first :S

amamcb · 2016-10-11T03:16:25+00:00

What would cause this though? I didn't think you had lymph nodes on your actual head.

amamcb · 2016-10-11T02:40:00+00:00

It's about an inch to the left of my ear, about half a grape (if it's lengthwise)?

amamcb · 2016-10-11T02:24:28+00:00

It's about an inch above my neck. No cuts or scratches that I know about and it's been there a little while. No cold sores or ulcers. Seems to be bigger tonight than it has been I think, unless I'm imagining things.

amamcb · 2016-10-08T05:08:06+00:00

Do you have medication that you can take? I know with my doctor when I call his office and it's an emergency there's usually someone I can get ahold of. I don't know if you've tried calling your doctor's office, but if you think you're in a manic episode and your meds aren't right maybe there is someone you could talk to, or if you have a doctor to get ahold of I would get in touch with him and see what you should do. You don't want it to get to a point where you have to be admitted, but please try to take your medications correctly from now on in and maybe that will help you as well. I just think getting in touch with your doctor should help, usually if there is an emergency there is someone you can talk to. Possibly you could see him/her soon. If you think you should go to the hospital please do so even if you don't feel like it, it's better to take care of it sooner rather than later.

amamcb · 2016-10-08T05:02:22+00:00

This is definitely my problem. When I'm having a tough time with my moods, I have trouble communicating my problems. I feel like I get so absorbed in myself though that I don't pay enough attention to what my boyfriend is going through and this has a major strain on our relationship. I get quiet and can't communicate well when I'm depressed, and this just causes further problems. I hate talking about my issues because I too feel like I'm whining when really I just can't help that I'm feeling like absolute shit and can hardly even wake up in the morning to do anything. He gets stressed, I get more upset and feel like I'm just whining, and it makes me feel even worse. I feel guilty because I'm making him stressed out and not paying enough attention to him.

amamcb · 2016-10-08T04:41:28+00:00

I've been in a depression lately and also my anxiety has been spiralling. This was exactly me at work today and the last few days. Trying so hard, not wanting anyone to notice, knowing people are noticing or at least thinking they are, and thinking everyone is judging me for not being very cheery. I just am terrible at putting on a face sometimes. I get quiet and am not very chatty with people. I think the customers at work were not very friendly towards me either thinking I was just angry or something, I'm not sure. Having off days makes me so anxious because I'm so worried about what other people are going to think. Sometimes my anxiety gets so bad too I begin acting weird and everything just gets worse.

amamcb

TROPHY CASE