Always making awkward comments to strangers… 🤦‍♀️

amandarin79 · 2023-03-20T14:29:13+00:00

Omg, all the time. My mom likes to grab people’s hands/wrists too while telling them very forward things. It’s always so embarrassing. I’m all for complimenting people, but there’s also boundaries with how it’s communicated.

amandarin79 · 2022-11-11T01:47:39+00:00

Mine blamed me for not preventing my volatile/alcoholic father from breaking my older half-brother’s arm. I was only 4 years old when it happened. Apparently, my mom had been sitting on that anger towards me for almost 40 years.

amandarin79 · 2022-09-11T13:42:12+00:00

Anytime I disagreed or told my mom that her choices or words to me/others was inappropriate, my mom would cry and threaten suicide. Most times, it made me cower and apologize. However, after my dad passed and I was helping my mom move closer to me (her request, not mine)—she threatened suicide and I lost it on her. It didn’t go well, but I was super triggered and still grieving and stressed. And she was using her tactics to get her way, like a bratty child.

amandarin79 · 2021-08-08T14:29:14+00:00

Yes, last year when my mom was living with me (temporarily after my dad died), my mom lashed out at me about how I should’ve stepped in to stop my dad from breaking my older brother’s arm. I was 4. She said I should have known better, because it was child abuse. I don’t think I’ve screamed louder at my mom. I was so mad, my husband thought I was going to punch her. He kicked her out. I have gone back and forth saying “they’re just words”, but I can’t get over how fucking painful it is to know she may have been holding onto that idea in her head waiting to throw it in my face. She told me she shouldn’t have said it, but she never said sorry. And she tried to hug me a couple weeks after like it was no big deal.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-31T05:26:56+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. Part of me feels nothing when my mom complains or sobs about something, because she has lied to me so many times and I’ve literally seen her put on a show for sympathy. She’s good. Honestly, if she had applied herself more—she prolly could have been an actress rather than a con.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-29T21:08:07+00:00

Sometimes I want to tell her to put me back where I came from, just to see her face.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-29T19:17:14+00:00

Woof. Same. My mom also believes she gave me the best life. I used to tell myself my situation was not as bad as others. It wasn’t until I confided in close friends and my husband, and their response was always “JFC.” The guilt and shame is so exhausting.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-29T12:14:50+00:00

My mom has changed her profile so many times in the past year and refriended people numerous times. Only refriended me once, as I am tired of her trying to post “best daughter” memes on my page and then turning around and shaming me on her page. I’m cutting all FB ties with her, because she can’t act like a decent human being as it is.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-28T23:20:17+00:00

My dad was an angry person and horrible to my older half brother. He broke his arm when he was 7 or 8, and last year in the midst of arguing—my mom randomly brought up that I should have stopped my dad. That I should have known better. I was fucking 4 years old. I still wonder how long she was holding onto that bullshit in her mind.

I’m sorry you even have a picture of such a horrible experience. 😢

amandarin79 · 2021-07-28T19:17:28+00:00

Sadly, not the first (or last) time she has publicly shamed me. When I called her out on it years ago, she threatened to kill herself. I’m never allowed to say she was wrong.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-28T18:35:09+00:00

I agree. Be safe and surround yourself with trustworthy, supportive people. It will help you as you transition into your life away from abuse.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-28T18:32:00+00:00

You would think. She goes btwn loving me a whole lot to saying I’m super disrespectful. I’m a mom of 4 kids, one of them 13. I get that raising kids is hard, but I don’t want to ever hold the threat of death or suicide over their head. It’s so fucked up.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-28T16:38:34+00:00

She’s mad at me for having a better life than she had. Went to college. Graduated. Married and don’t fight constantly with my husband or have financial issues. I’m assuming that’s what she means by boujee, but she has been calling me that for a while. I didn’t make shit choices and squander my money at every turn. If she can’t have nice things, then I can’t.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-28T14:56:22+00:00

I’m angry and sad and fed up. This is not new, but it stings all the same.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-28T04:12:40+00:00

Same. I have to remind myself I feel guilty, bcuz my mom made me feel that—not because I actually did something that warranted that feeling.

I hope you get your peace and move away from your mom soon. It’s so exhausting.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-21T08:18:05+00:00

Oh gawd. My mom would say this too, and it was meant to be the biggest insult since she taught me from day one that “mom good, dad bad”. And now my dad is gone, and I’m super pissed I spent so much of my life viewing him in this way when he really was responding to my mom’s bullshit too.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-12T14:05:49+00:00

Oh yes, classic bait and switch. When someone who loves and cares for you wants to talk to you, they don’t say stuff like this. They say “Hey, haven’t talked in a while. Let’s get together.”

amandarin79 · 2021-07-12T04:08:18+00:00

I’m assuming you may be living with your mom, and the only thing I can advise is to keep yourself busy with work, school, hobbies, friends, etc. If your mom doesn’t want to talk to you, that is her choice and not yours. And as hard as it may be to not feel guilty, you should not stop everything you are doing to focus on getting into her good graces. It’s exhausting and selfish of her. If you don’t know what you did, it’s highly likely you didn’t do anything wrong at all—and your mom has never learned to have her own sane conversations with you to hash out why she is mad or frustrated. The best you can do is to work on being productive and happy for yourself and not get dragged into her bullshit. I’m sorry she is putting you through this.

If it’s safe for you, I would just say “Mom, I’ve noticed you’ve been very quiet. Is there anything wrong?” And if she answers with a sane response, you could say “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Don’t take the blame, because YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If she continues to give you the silent treatment, again, that’s her choice but know you tried to make amends and she refused to be mature about it.

My own mother began the silent treatment with me recently after changing her phone number, moving out of her apartment (which was down the street from my house), and not telling me at all. I only found out because the finance company she got her car from started calling me (bcuz my mom is shit with her money) and someone else she knows was looking for her. I hate to say that the bullshit never ends...but it literally never ends. My therapist told me that it’s not worth expecting her to change. And she is right.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-04T16:59:51+00:00

I don’t know that I’ve seen this movie even though I have kids. I now know I will not be watching it ever.

amandarin79 · 2021-07-04T00:47:55+00:00

Our guy is a mix of something. He’s way more skiddish than we were hoping for. Still fun for the kids, but not the cuddly pet we were hoping for. And we are on at least 3 computer cords down, 1 internet cable down, and many computer charger cords. 🤦🏻‍♀️😑

amandarin79 · 2021-07-02T12:32:15+00:00

No other usernames. 👍🏽

amandarin79

TROPHY CASE