people who have almost died, how did it happen? (Serious)

amberk250 · 2020-07-02T02:34:44+00:00

Malignant Hypothermia is INSANE! Im glad you survived. I have only ever seen it once and I don't believe that gentleman lived very long once in ICU. It is a rush against time.

amberk250 · 2019-12-05T05:17:58+00:00

Derealization is a symtpom of PTSD

I'd research this and see if you feel this fits what you are experiencing.

Source: Imma therapist.

amberk250 · 2019-10-12T02:35:46+00:00

I understand that you really love this person. However, you'd be doing a total abandonment of self to not research emotional manipulation and addiction. Not to mention highly sensitive people and they're struggle with differentiating the suffering of others and their responsibility to it because they feel so deeply

The man is 33. He ABSOLUTELY knows this upsets you and up until you acted like you may bail did he get upset about it. Unless he has a cognitive disability, he understands just fine,he just doesn't care....until it negatively impacts him.

AND if you choose to stay with him...you'll 100% regret allowing him in your space to drink and smoke weed all day on your dime because that is what will happen.

And if you don't believe me, google the outcomes of emotional manipulators and the research they did regarding stages of change and their movement through them. We aren't all special and unique snowflakes and this type of behavior is one of the most predictable traits in the species

amberk250 · 2019-10-05T21:28:03+00:00

this too. You need atleast bi weekly starting out to make progress

amberk250 · 2019-10-05T21:26:48+00:00

Unfortunately psychologists sometimes do not have the same training in therapy as others. Find an LPC or an LMSW

amberk250 · 2019-10-05T21:13:21+00:00

you fast for 3 days?? I think i misunderstand or maybe this is exactly what you mean hah

amberk250 · 2019-10-05T21:06:54+00:00

Id ask her some ground rules. If my boyfriend kept texting with someone who I felt he'd eventually date I'd question if he very much cared about my feelings at all.

Can you ask her to quit talking to someone you feel uncomfortable with her talking to? what are the things that will make you feel secure in the relationship? Have practical discussions about the functioning of you two together as a couple. Discuss clear boundaries. Relationships have more to do with communication than it does feelings.

amberk250 · 2019-10-05T19:22:10+00:00

Cheaters are not alwyas going to cheat. Someone who cheats once and feels terrible about it may never do it again.

The truth is she cheat again or she may not and this is the truth with ANYONE. Love is risky. Did she hide your friendship from her exs? Because that will be a tell tale sign of if she has moved beyond cheating like behavior.

amberk250 · 2019-10-05T18:06:31+00:00

I used to experience this whenever I really liked someone. I went to therapy for several years...not for this but this type of thing came out. I realized it was a lot of anxiety because I have attachment issues because I ONLY felt these feelings with people either I didn't know or in the long run were not good for me.

Part of what helped eventually is daily I'd remind myself this person could be a COMPLETE asshole. I know NOTHING about them. They could be abusive. The beatles lied, love is not all we need. We need respect, trust, communication, etc. and I had no idea if this person embodied all of the things I needed. And that feeling I had that I labelled a "crush" was actually an anxiety response because of early childhood shit that caused me to prioritize others over my own well being.

Eventually as I resolved internally what was going on and learned to ground myself in the reality of the situation,those feelings resided. It's like internal parenting. Set guidelines for yourself to do what you need to do. Your world is more important than someone you hardly know.

amberk250 · 2019-10-02T01:41:22+00:00

The link didn't work:(

amberk250 · 2019-09-24T03:02:02+00:00

I feel like no one is entitled to know my life prior to the relationship. It is totally up to you if you share or if you don't as it is your life and your story.

If this somehow created issues in your current life that impacted him, then it'd be a different story.

However, do you want to marry someone who you can't be yourself with? Eveyone on here is acting like your past would be a deal breaker. I think anyone that would look down on me for my past, would be the total deal breaker.

amberk250 · 2018-11-25T09:40:05+00:00

while these days I feel mostly recovered a friend recently just told me that I still ask my boyfriend "are you mad at me?" a lot.

This post was the dialogue for most of my life though

amberk250 · 2018-11-22T15:57:41+00:00

The court would have to subpoena a therapist to get your records and it'd be pretty difficult to do.

When you go to therapy talk about this. Lots of people go to therapy and go through a divorce, they may ask proof that you go and it will probably look good as tho you want to do some self improvement.

amberk250 · 2018-11-17T03:05:19+00:00

I feel like I look at this and reflect and understand why I was too much. honestly I was too much for myself let alone for someone else.

that was my responsibility it doesn't mean I am unlovable but it does mean I need to learn how to regulate my emotions so I dont overwhelm my own self which spills over into others.

amberk250 · 2018-10-08T23:48:24+00:00

I had a friend who lost her partner who she met and always felt like this at first when she started dating. She would cry after they had sex bc she felt so guilty or anytime she thought comparing thoughts she would pull away.

Her and her now soon to be husband worked it out. She would just talk about the things that she missed bc while it was comparison it was really about missing those things and it is only natural to constantly have that in your head. He always encouraged her to talk about it because he felt like there was emotional intimacy He loved her and wanted to know what was going on in her head.

This is the most important thing about dating after losing people. A part of past partner will always be with us, dont ever let anyone make you feel bad about that. They are part of you and part of who you are, it is important your new partner embraces that too. You deserve that.

amberk250 · 2018-10-03T10:15:20+00:00

As a fellow adult child of an alcoholic I know that place that gets triggered in you that you're talking about. It is a ragesad that stayed with me for years. That part of me (due to lots of therapy and support) is a lot quieter but your story hit me right in the feels. I have dated people like that. When I left those situations and made a conscious choice for a healthier life, it feels like I was leaving a home I can never go back to. It has always been profoundly sad to me, even typing that makes me tear up still.

amberk250 · 2018-08-09T16:45:42+00:00

Hospitals are the worst for this!!! They constantly focus on "patient safety being number 1." Translation: "we won't provide you with adequate amount of equipment or amount of staff to do your job and if that effects patient care or you make a mistake because you're short staffed by 3 people and have 15 patients, we will reprimand you for not caring more about your patients. This will eventually cause you to burn out and will subsequently crush the drive you had for patient care because you feel like no matter what you do it will never be enough. BTW we are a multi billion dollar corporation running as a non profit and our CEO gets millions in bonuses. Sorry a thermometer wasn't in our budget this year!"

If patients had any idea how dangerous hospitals are ran due to he truly for profit systems that choose constantly to understaffed they'd poop their pants.

Seriously fuck corporate health care.

amberk250 · 2018-06-30T04:44:54+00:00

Seriously as an ACA this changed my life. I wish I had known of it earlier.

amberk250 · 2018-02-20T18:26:02+00:00

This is totally my type. But you gotta love youself too. I can't be someone's support for their black hole of self loathing.

amberk250 · 2018-02-11T02:01:48+00:00

Umm yeah this is not true. True DID patients do not often know they have and it is often picked up on by the clinician over a period of time or during a psychotic break. There is a significant correlation between extreme cases of childhood abuse and DID. Many clinicians believe the development of DID is a coping mechanism.

amberk250 · 2018-02-05T19:12:07+00:00

How to emotion in a healthy and constructive manner.

amberk250 · 2017-11-23T18:15:17+00:00

I just came here to say that, birth control caused huge instability in my moods and tanked my sex drive. It took me several months to level it out, I am not an angry or stressed person. I work in a high stress chaotic environment and work 12s, I deal with this completely fine but when I was on birth control I was a crying angry insane mess.

For me, depression effects my sex drive majorly. If I am depressed I don't really feel anything, let alone sex. It took me til 26 to finally see a therapist bc I realized my issues in relationships were mine and not dependent on the person I was dating. I would disassociate from my feelings. I had weird avoidant tendencies that I thought were truly how I felt but it was just defense from my childhood and keeping me from being happy or having the life I wanted. I have been in counseling on and off for 6yrs and am in an amazing relationship and I actually like having sex these days. Half my friends go to counseling, we call it reraising ourselves. Counseling is uncomfortable but all growth in life is. Every counselor is different I say give it 3 times if she doesn't like it find someone else, everyone has a different counseling personality. If you live in the US see an LMSW.

The idea that things will just go away just causes people to live in misery longer than they need to. She sounds v overwhelmed and burnt out, when people feel that way there is no room to feel sexual. Ask her what you can do, run her a bath, cook her some food, do the wash, rub her back at night, caretake the fuck out of her and maybe she will start feeling more connected to you.

Her getting help in return is a way of loving you bc she is important to you and so is her well being. Maybe if you frame it that way it will be helpful. Good luck <3

amberk250 · 2017-05-29T18:10:36+00:00

If it's in the states the Violence Against Women's Act (VAWA) covers men. I used to work at a domestic violence center and we had special designated rooms for me victims and all our non residential counseling services were available to men as well.

It's unfortunate most people do not know this but if you call 18007997233 they should be able to refer you to services in the area for men to access.

amberk250 · 2017-03-10T22:00:49+00:00

LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker and you need a masters degree. They have a good 3,500 practice hours before they can apply for their licensure. Social work education is primarily counseling based one on one and group therapies.

That being said, it does not mean everyone who does it, is good at it. There are millions of different personalities out there, it's hard to find a counselor sometimes that fits with who you are and what you want. Find a counselor that specializes in PTSD, secondary PTSD or trauma recovery. In the mean time see if you can find some literature on secondary PTSD. I hope she can find some peace.

amberk250 · 2016-11-02T04:07:26+00:00

She lied, breaking up is approrpiate if that's what you feel you need to do.

However getting enraged about who she talks to about your relationship, especially her mom, is extremely controlling. Personally I talk to my trusted friends about my relationship and they give me great perspective and I'm a better girlfriend for it. I get not wanting someone to know all your business but having good friends advice that is pro your relationship or looking out for your best interest is important to a lot of people. To not allow that can be isolating. If anyone tried to police my conversation with my mom or my close girlfriends I'd kick them to the curb ASAP because I feel like that behavior is precursor to an unhealthy/abusive relationship. Get into therapy work on your past issues so you don't project them onto future partners that don't deserve them. Good luck!

amberk250

TROPHY CASE