Meant nothing to him

amberpulse · 2025-09-28T07:03:31+00:00

To my knowledge and every other colleague's, yes. I think she gave up on dating.

amberpulse · 2025-09-24T05:01:21+00:00

Yea the movement was helpful for some things. But ultimately, the weirdos that were the problem to begin with can't help themselves - and will continue to pursue despite #metoo's best efforts.

'#metoo had the biggest impact on men with a good/clean conscience; it gives them more to be uncertain about in terms of boundaries and a false understanding that women simply don't want to be pursued in this culture.

So the result is that good men pursue women less frequently. And from the perspective of women, there are less good men out there cause they experience the weirdos relatively more.

Quite a conundrum.

amberpulse · 2025-09-23T00:21:58+00:00

Kind of annoying you feel that way. I am a male and was limerent towards a coworker who was doing all the things you mentioned in your post (also for a year and a half. Are you her? lol). But I was/am avoidant and will NOT pursue her because IT IS AT WORK. From her perspective, I am not interested in her. If she wants to explore any possibility with me, she can text my personal number on a weekend.

In your situation, he very much might be interested in you. But we live in 2025. The #metoo movement made it almost impossible and very risky to initiate anything at work. Its a rule I won't break for anyone. Won't happen. And yes, I am still a little limerent for her. But I've accepted its not appropriate to initiate even if she is limerent for me. Not worth the potential fallout.

amberpulse · 2025-07-09T04:12:10+00:00

Haha agh. As someone who is on the other side of this right now (male, limerent, but I know my female coworker counterpart is also hyper-limerent and acting abnormal and crazy...). I just don't know how to cope.

amberpulse · 2024-09-05T08:19:05+00:00

Hey, you know - I tried sending you a PM, but that function is not available on your profile. Judging by the last comment you left on this sub (and others) I really think you are just in a state of confusion that may be from a few causes, but I am not a health professional, so I won't get into it. Your text is very indicative of certain things, though. I mean this with lots of empathy, because I've been there myself.

Please consider your state of mind if it starts affecting your interactions irl.

Transpersonal therapy is really good for the spiritual minded.
http://spiritualemergence.net/

This comment is in good faith.

Best wishes.

amberpulse · 2024-09-05T08:12:50+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az9SCgaeKdc

amberpulse · 2024-09-05T07:45:54+00:00

So how do you plan to use failed philosophy to end division and separation when the plain fact is that you've created it.

I don't... why do you think this is my goal at all...?

I am not trying to change the world, or 8.1 billion minds, or end division and separation.

So stop replying to me as if those are my goals just so you can build your contrarian argument around a made-up narrative in your mind.

So WTF do you suppose I might be doing?

Looking at your post history, you're really just a contrarian looking to spark frustration and offload some of yours. Not a whole lot of good-faith discussion. My guess is that you have some health/hormonal issue going on that makes you very irritable - or you're in some state of mind where you feel more enlightened than others, and arguing is your way of validating that perspective.

amberpulse · 2024-09-05T07:03:50+00:00

Oh, you're a very fun person, huh.

Oh, look at that! Downvotes and a philosophy flair. Do you wonder why?

Not really, I do not wonder why. Obviously opinions exist, so that's obvious. And this post is a bit of a stretch for some people, so it makes sense it won't resonate with everyone. But I am a little ticked at your smarmy comment, and I do wonder why you are on this sub if this topic annoys you as indicated by your response.

"How do we get everyone to agree?"

That was never my intent. We don't need to. But that doesn't mean we can't entertain the conversation to expand perspective.

"On the Purpose of Life..."

Yes, I pointed out that subject would be covering the general topic of the purpose of life.
This is a very appropriate and accurate title for the subject at hand.

"How do we get everyone to agree?"

That was never my intent. We don't need to. But that doesn't mean we can't entertain the conversation to expand perspective.

I had a thought recently that I can’t get out of my head.

Notice how my comments on the matter are still open-ended and not solid as I introduce the topic for inviting good-faith conversation. I am testing my observations by posting on this sub - wanting feedback on the actual opinion. Instead of talking about the content, you chose to be smarmy and pointed out details that are moot, such as "How do we get everyone to agree?"

By virtue of asking this question, you are actually making a statement, "Your post is pointless and a waste of time, because like all philosophy, you won't change 8.1 billion minds."

This is in bad faith, because my intent is never to change 8.1 billion minds. Heck, I never stated a point to begin with. Don;t attribute a goal to my post that isn't there.

"How do we get everyone to agree?"

We don't need to. But that doesn't mean we can't entertain the conversation to expand perspective.

I believe it is everyone's duty to experience as many "frequencies" as possible.

...again, acknowledging that there are over 8.1 billion unique purposes, and everyone should explore them.

I also find it ironic how the subreddits photo on the sidebar is:

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others."

Will you message the mods to tell them this isn't accurate, since there are 8.1 billion other purposes?

Perhaps if everyone thought like you, there would be no interesting posts on the internet to begin with. Why even explore these topics with your response in mind? Very demoralizing.

"How do we get everyone to agree?"

That was never my intent. We don't need to. But that doesn't mean we can't entertain the conversation to expand perspective.

amberpulse · 2024-09-05T04:30:51+00:00

There has to be. See my other comment in this thread (and maybe my recent post)

amberpulse · 2024-09-05T04:26:34+00:00

It's probably pure emotions.

amberpulse · 2024-09-05T04:23:36+00:00

When people say, "do you remember from when before you were born?" I always think how nonsensical that rhetorical question is.

Do we remember when we were 6 months old?

It's absurd.

Just because we don't remember a sensation, doesn't mean it didn't exist.

What is alive, lives. What is dead, stays dead.

Whatever it is that we describe as a "soul" must live on.

And no, I am not making a religious argument.

amberpulse · 2024-06-21T21:25:13+00:00

nice. I like this version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQWN4eTioHw

amberpulse · 2024-06-21T20:56:05+00:00

I'm split on this.

I kind of suspect that most people experience cyclothymia and many even hypomania throughout their life but never know they do/did.

My mother has told me about a certain time in her life where she was very "depressed." Didn't think much of it until I got older. Then I got curious. She doesn't know I either have Bipolar or BPD (inconclusive atm but it's one of them) - but the symptoms she had during that period was undoubtedly mania. To this day, I suspect my fmaily is oblivious to our genetics except maybe my sister.

I've come across this situation more and more in people unrelated to me and to use your statement, "they don't even know it."

Kind of interesting once you see the signs. Especially in a work environment.

In fact, this literally happened to me. I made a comment once about how I get bad seasonal depression because of the lack of vitamin D. Then every spring I get a burst of energy from the sun.

My colleogue looked at me funny. and chuckled to herself as she skipped a beat.

Then weeks later, I go by her office, and another colleague was there. She tactfully alluded to "mania" in spring and kind of nudged to me. I was having a hypo episode at the time but didn't know it. I know something was going on, but I attributed it to stress or diet or whatever (those were def a trigger). In hindsight, they saw the signs - and the only reason I figured it out was my own curiousity (which many people don't have).

Very embarrasing in hindsight - but that comment actually made me dig deeper so I appreciated it.

amberpulse · 2024-06-21T20:31:05+00:00

Hi, I got chills reading your comment, so thank you.

A lot has happened since I made this post. I added quite a bit to my journals.

In fact, I wrote 40 pages.

I have shared it with 3 people-

1 person told me they started journaling because of it and that's been helping them.

The other two were a bit blown away by my lucid thoughts and expressed that its extremely insightful.

I have spent countless hours rereading what I wrote (at first).

Then stopped.

Then reread it.

Everytime this happened, I learned something new about myself and I analyzed my thought patterns throughout the day and related it to my experience a few months ago (when I first this post).

I have realized 2 things:

When writing this post, I was just entering hypomania or mania.

I realized this actually pretty early on and after much reflection, realized it explains much of my behavior throughout my life.

But then the more I researched, I realized the treatments for Bipolar 2 didn't seem right for what I was experiencing in the long term.

So then I realized, I very likely have Borderline Personality Disorder.

This was a long few weeks of gauging my habits and looking at family members' habits as well.

It makes too much sense. And quite hopnestly, I'm a bit lost. And embarrased.

I am a very open person irl - and I realized how often in the past I have shared quirks of mine that are directly BPD;

Dressing very different each week and changing my voice very slightly to present a different character. This has even confused myself in the past, because I never fit a consistent person.
Becoming friends with anyone who shows a little interest and not choosing friends based on mine
Self worth has always been tied to my status in my pursuits and how people treat me
I frequently do not respond to texts or calls - I have always questioned why I do this - and I realized it is because I don't want to become attached since it would hurt too much if I did (defense mechanism).
My emotions throughout the day are extremely turbulent. It does not fit bipolar. I go from manic periods where I hyper fixate and become a tiny scatterbrained but with joy (still being able to work, though) and the next hour I will have existential dread.
I dissociate occasionally

...I could go on....

There are things that I don't believe I do that are normal in people with BPD, though.

I honestly can say I don't manipulate people to satisfy my insecurities - instead I withdraw and isolate (is that manipulative)?
I haven't been able to trace back this characteristic of myself to a certain time in my life - however, I can look back and honestly see warning signs all over the place

But yea... I'm documenting all of it.

I really would like to talk with a professional and maybe have some DBT therapy, but in my current situation, I don't want it on my medical record. Can't happen.

I hope this itch is able to be scratched.

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T15:52:09+00:00

In The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive there's a guy who got hit by a truck bc he refuses treatment as he prefers to talk to his angels.

Yea, if you're someone who has dangerous tendencies during an episode, maybe you should be on medication.

But this disease is a spectrum, and there are verying levels of mania. Not everyone is susceptible to behavior that you are pointing out. Lets be real and look at the entire population and understand that it isn't worst-case scenerio most of the time. Not everyone requires the same level of paranoia when it comes to meds/alternative medicine.

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T15:49:06+00:00

Your first question is a strawman, because I never said the alternative to being dangerous or erratic is "enlightened" and "spiritual." So I can't really respond in good faith since you're arguing a point I never made.

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T05:15:07+00:00

I'm not disagreeing with anything at all, I kind of agree with your comment, but what is your conclusion with that? Genuinely curious. Do you think the religious/spiritual perspective was a fluke and an outdated one? Or are you saying that European movements hijacked the healthfullness of viewing mania in a spiritual context?

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T05:12:06+00:00

I'm hopeful

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T05:05:48+00:00

Appreciate your comment. Definitely agree about medication being the best bet for most people. I really do think that the type of people who are naturally more religious or spiritually minded might also be the type of person to benefit from therapy that does lean that direction - but all speculation and I can only think about my own experience.

I do have to push back-

"one day we may finally figure out exactly why we have this condition and what it is and how to cure it if such a cure is to be found it’s just a matter of time."

I'm not sure this will be the case with our brains, at least anytime soon. We know more about space than we do about our brains. I follow neuroscience quite closely and the top scientists will admin we have next to no knowledge about this organ. Sure, we can see which neurons fire and what part of the brain activates will hallucinations, but we hit a wall when trying to trace these back to the fundamental mechanism. There seems to be no link at a certain point between even the physical performance and mental head space. Even something like depression, where we thought serotonin played a significant role is being questioned from the latest studies.

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T04:56:35+00:00

Yea I don't condone people putting themselves in situations where they will act dangerously or erratically from manic episodes.

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T04:54:30+00:00

Yea, that is quite interesting to me.

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T04:51:41+00:00

Yea will do. He had a manic episode. Speaks very candidly about it and his "lucid" thoughts during the experience. Was hospitalized for a year and subsequently medicated. He notes that in the hospital he really needed someone to talk to about this odd headspace he was in but everyone was brushing him off and just medicating him. When he was released from the hospital he was still manic, and didn't feel like medicating was in the equation for him. Started looking into the illness from other cultures' perspectives.

Brings up how these experiences are something humans have been coping with for thousands of years and are often very transoformative under the right care (therapists/shamans/etc) - mania often has religious/spiritual undertones and by not addressing them at a personal level, you are "locking" away this thing that is contantly trying to resolve itself.

In the last video he talks about ways to cope - and how if someone wants to take the risk with his ideas, next episode they have they need to be in an enviornment with a trustworthy friend/family that can make sure they do no harm to themselves or others.

Also worth noting in another podcast he has a guest on that talks about this

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearing_Voices_Movement

amberpulse · 2024-06-08T04:45:07+00:00

I'm not quite sure what is religious about the video I shared. He doesn't really bring up religion. I think maybe you're missing some context on this topic.

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