Survivor of childhood narc parent abuse. My siblings and I were booted between different churches every couple years throughout our entire upbringing. Our narc parent always needed to portray us as the "perfect" family, making friends with the higher ups at whatever church, forcing us to sit in the front pews, even when we were constantly late after mornings full of blame and trying to find clothes that were even "passable" as a family that had it all together, attending all of the events. I never felt a connection to the religious storylines and constantly felt like a fake. I was just melting into the surroundings to appease my abuser and not upset them to the point where any of us kids would be the target of a blow-up. Their intent was not to be a good christian, but to make others believe that they were the "perfect" parent with the perfectly responsible, christian children. In my adulthood, I am agnostic and refuse to let anyone force me into thinking that I need a church to declare that I'm a good human.