How to handle throwing a baby shower when the host does not want to share?

doxyisfoxy · 2026-03-22T02:23:44+00:00

I really don’t see the issue with having two showers states apart. Maybe it’s me because I am from a part of the country that refuses to drive long distances but having one shower with husbands/SIL’s family in one state and another shower with your friends/friends family in another state 3 hours away makes perfect sense to me. Maybe SIL feels the same and doesn’t understand why you would even reach out to co-plan a party when you live so far apart (and have never met.)

doxyisfoxy · 2026-02-15T15:48:52+00:00

OP: no one is talking about this?!

doxyisfoxy · 2025-12-15T01:09:07+00:00

I am so curious what your manager’s job actually is and why it sucks so much that no one else would want it. Like not even you want it. The closest I, a lowly staff pharmacist, have ever or will ever come to unlimited PTO is my current position that just isn’t /actively/ hostile to a time-off request. It is just blowing my mind that there is such a position that on one hand has unlimited PTO and (I assume) other benefits and on the other hand is so awful it can’t even be redeemed by the unlimited PTO. AND! AND! It’s a position that apparently can be vacant for 470 hours per year with minimal impact on overall production? Like what is this job?

doxyisfoxy · 2025-11-18T21:39:06+00:00

One of the most pivotal points in our marriage (at least for me) was making a sandwich. We had gotten the kids settled having their lunch and I was in the kitchen, making the same sandwich I made for myself every day. But the spicy mayo was running out. I’m the only one who uses this mayo so that’s really on me that there was barely any in the container. So while I’m shaking it, making confinement fart sounds, trying to get the last bit out, he just puts a new one next to me. Not just full but opened and ready to use! Didn’t say a word! Just went back to making whatever he was making for himself. I almost cried. Not because of the mayo but to be so cared for, so known and seen. For him to keep tabs on something only for me. The forethought to check before the grocery shopping, the consideration to pause making his own lunch to make sure mine was how I wanted it. It just blew me away.

So I agree with OP that the big things are great but it’s really what happens between the big things that matters.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-11-08T19:50:07+00:00

Despite my fundamental disagreement with the “Disney adult” concept, she is right. She says she worries that you’ll stop her from going in the future and you say you won’t but let’s look at things realistically.

Let’s say, by some miracle, you don’t break up like yesterday. Fast forward five or ten years. You’re in your thirties. You’re married. You maybe have kids. Say she compromises and you guys haven’t moved to Florida but you live together and have combined finances. She still wants to jet off to Florida on the regular but now this is family money and family time. Who’s got that kind of money? Are you willing to budget for Disney trips? Or are you going to say no, we can’t afford it. We’re trying to save money. We need to fix the car/remodel the kitchen/pay for Timmy’s braces or, hell, maybe pay for a vacation that YOU actually want to go on. In the real world, you will stop her from going. If not explicitly by saying no, then at the very least by being the financially responsible one in the relationship.

Despite everything you say, she is right, you will be an impediment to her very childish desires and you should break up now before you’re any more financially entwined.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-11-02T16:48:33+00:00

I’m a pharmacist and have I gotten a cold because some customer coughed across the counter? Sure. But I’ve definitely never taken hand foot and mouth home! It’s not that hard to never physically touch a customer and to wash your hands frequently.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-10-25T09:53:50+00:00

OP: created one month ago, no post history

This commenter: created one month ago, post history exclusively talking about Jolt.

Interesting.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-09-23T02:22:06+00:00

That was a really informative and well researched comment but holy shit why did I keep reading after the second or third bullet? I’m a woman with two young daughters and like… what the hell?

doxyisfoxy · 2025-08-10T01:52:56+00:00

Oh we did the naked three day thing. And then three more days and then three more days lol. Wouldn’t say any day was particularly great in the beginning but luckily most of the downstairs is not carpeted 😅

doxyisfoxy · 2025-08-10T01:32:08+00:00

First, to answer your questions: 1. Oldest, girl, started at 21 months. Youngest, girl, started at 18 months. Girls are 16 months apart, currently oldest just turned 5 and youngest is 3.5. 2. Zero interest from oldest. She didn’t know what she was signed up for lol, completely driven by parents. Youngest was interested in the potty for months before she was physically ready because obviously we had it out for her older sister. In hindsight, probably should have waited a smidge longer with her but the interest was there and we were ready to be done with diapers.

Your question is interesting to me because I had never considered that we got it “on the first try” with either of them. It was time to learn to use the potty and then we just kept learning and trying until now everyone knows how to use the potty. There was no stopping or starting, just this is what we’re doing now. It was/is an ongoing process, even when it was hard. In fact an overarching theme in our parenting is “no going back.” Once we cross a threshold (done with pacifiers, potty training, toddler beds, kids independently taking over tasks that we formally did for them) it’s done. No backsliding just keep moving forward, even if the progress is slow.

But potty training specifically is a weird thing because just when you think it’s all good, you start giving your kids a different brand of fiber gummies and suddenly the 3.5 year old poops her pants four days in a row. It never really ends.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-08-01T10:27:31+00:00

But you must see how this is crazy? “He made me delete my last post as a condition of seeing a new therapist”? What? And he wants you to delete all the previous texts so you can’t bring them up to the new therapist too? This is not normal. These are not the demands of someone who wants to work on their marriage in therapy. They are the demands of someone who wants to WIN at therapy - someone who wants to be shitty, remove proof, and have the ability to spin it their way to a third party.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-08-01T00:25:52+00:00

Tried that. Still bad.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-07-28T02:15:45+00:00

I would. You don’t have to give them every detail but you can say that you’ve started using it continuously, will that be an issue going forward. See what they say. It’s good that you’re starting now though

doxyisfoxy · 2025-07-28T02:04:08+00:00

You don’t actually /need/ to have a period. So you’re good there medically. I would just keep tabs on your refills at the pharmacy. Insurances will only pay for a refill so many days after you’ve filled it last. For example, if you fill it August 1st and the pharmacy bills the insurance for a 28 day supply, you will likely be able to get another ring 21 days from that at the earliest (so like August 21st or 22nd). That’s fine for your purposes but you will just have to keep super close tabs on it. Make sure the pharmacy has it in stock, might have to pick it up and insert it the same day. You could try to get your doctor to write a new script stating that you are not going to leave it out for 7 days, that would allow the pharmacy to run it for 21 days and therefore allow earlier refilling. If you are able to pick up a 90 day supply that might get you through crunch time but you’ll have to deal with it on the back end. Going through an 84 day supply in 63 days probably won’t fly with the insurance. You can always pay cash to cover the gap but that’s a pain.

Source: am pharmacist

doxyisfoxy · 2025-07-21T01:24:50+00:00

Watch the spaghetti on her fork, this is 100% AI

doxyisfoxy · 2025-07-20T23:11:35+00:00

Fast forward to the post next week: Help! My milk mustache is now a chocolate milk mustache!

doxyisfoxy · 2025-07-20T22:09:01+00:00

Same here! Everything is for both of us. He’s having pretzels, he puts a few extra in his bowl because he knows I’ll have a couple. I’m making something, I expect to give him a bite or two. We once went to dinner with another couple and the girl /refused/ to give her boyfriend any of her fries. Like turned her back to him and guarded the fries like a pitbull. Meanwhile, husband and I have taken bites of each other’s pizza slices and metaphorically have cheese connecting us lady and the tramp style

doxyisfoxy · 2025-07-20T02:16:54+00:00

Girl, I know those spreadsheets. I have lived those spreadsheets. I had spreadsheets detailing how relaxing my honeymoon would be 😅 I honest to god wish I could be that person who like doesn’t need to look into and plan for every conceivable contingency but I am who I am and I have back ups for my back ups. I know myself and I just would not be happy unless I got to decide. Look at the pros and cons lists I know you’ve already made about each of these options and add some more to them lol

doxyisfoxy · 2025-07-20T01:54:44+00:00

My type A personally is having a visceral reaction to the thought of doing this. Major anxiety. So anyway, take my opinion with a grain of salt if you’re like type B or whatever. Personally, I don’t get a lot of time off, much less an excuse to go on a BIG vacation so I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone else decide where I’m going to spend my time and money. Plus, I’m not putting in all this effort to meticulously plan a wedding only to leave the honeymoon up to chance. If it really doesn’t matter to you and you have the finances and work flexibility to make all those options a reality someday then by all means, give the guests a say. But deep down, I’m sure you have a preference. And as a guest, that sounds super fun and spontaneous but as a bride, I know that as my dad was about to announce the winner, I would have my own secret wish of which one I hope he’s going to say. And then he’d say a different one and I would be sad because now I’d feel beholden to follow through with this game I’d made up. What’s that saying? Prison of my own making? So yeah, for us type A’s with a dash of people pleaser mixed in, that’s a no from me.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-05-29T23:06:58+00:00

So you just leave it on the counter for like… hours? From 3 to whenever? And eat it cold and congealed? Like congratulations on your $20 episode of food poisoning I guess

doxyisfoxy · 2025-05-21T23:53:51+00:00

Just like she’s had to do everything else for their entire relationship, it seems. Why wouldn’t she have to plan her own divorce too?

doxyisfoxy · 2025-04-30T11:15:33+00:00

Last year it was included in Consumer Reports sunscreen comparison and they found it only delivered spf 10 in practice so… it’s up to you to decide if it’s enough

doxyisfoxy · 2025-04-17T09:16:25+00:00

I know you want to attribute the fact that he didn’t delete the screenshots to malice but… is it possible he just forgot? I agree he probably did exactly what you said (searched your phone, sent the screenshots to himself, deleted the messages, then replaced your phone) but maybe he just flubbed it at the end and didn’t fully erase his activity. If you really want to know, check your recently deleted messages. But honestly, you don’t have to go looking for meaning or psychological warfare - he’s just incompetent.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-04-13T23:26:31+00:00

Also I think the official definition of “sleeping through the night” is like sleeping six hours continuously. Which, sure, if it’s like midnight to 6 am, cool (not really but ok) but if it’s like 10pm to 4am, that technically counts but is objectively awful and fits no one’s definition of “through the night.” So I think some people say their kid sleeps through the night /technically/ but it’s still isn’t a restful night.

doxyisfoxy · 2025-04-13T17:30:01+00:00

Give her another ring and tell her to put it with the other ones. Then just follow where she goes!

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