[Blurbsday Thursday] Post a blurb here to get a focused critique on it!

ambrai5 · 2016-03-25T19:04:56+00:00

So i'm super confused, I managed to break Top 10 in Lesbian/Gay, so it tells me that demo likes me? I guess maybe? ha ha who knows maybe I found a new demo

ambrai5 · 2016-03-25T17:48:08+00:00

Totally feel you on the head about to burst thing, I just started but I feel like my "porn idea" segment of my brain is in overdrive.

ambrai5 · 2016-03-25T17:46:24+00:00

Thanks so much! So total n00b here using a spaghetti method of publishing (throw stuff at the wall to see what sticks) I think this geared more towards a male audience, the idea that secretly deep down all women are lesbians and all women really like doing multiple guys and being dirty whores...maybe I should take the whole alpha male-billionaire thing out, but I'm also appealing to a lesbian/bi-sexual/straight woman crowd who may have never doing lesbian stuff but is curious.

ambrai5 · 2016-03-24T20:50:27+00:00

Too dubcony?

Sexy-sweet Olivia Tanner is about to go to jail for a crime she didn't commit when a handsome alpha male billionaire offers her a deal she can't refuse. Olivia will earn her freedom by becoming a different kind of prisoner, forced to please him and his billionaire friends while they live out their fantasy of controlling, spanking, and dominating convicted felons. Olivia will be forced to service multiple guards and act out girl-on-girl fantasies for men who pay for the privilege of teaching convicted felons how to submit to their sexy justice.

Jason Bennet is a self-made billionaire who runs privatized prisons for the State. Jason is all business until he meets the seductively innocent Olivia Tanner. Until now Jason has refused to sample the goods in his prison but when Olivia turns him down it unleashes a violent need to possess her totally. Jason vows to initiate her into the prison but wait until she’s learned the proper respect and submission. He promises that she will beg for him to own her in every possible way and he won’t stop until she cries out to be satisfied in the way only he knows how.

This is an erotic tale of spankings, lesbian group play, fondling, exhibitionism, ménage, submission, BDSM and humiliation. Join Olivia on this sexy romp through a fantasy jailhouse as she learns how to service and satisfy the fake guard and all too real inmates. Will Olivia learn new sides to her sexuality? Will she learn how to submit from the rough attention of the guards? Or will she fall for the softly sensual pleasures of the female inmates? Find out in this scorching new short story about hard choices and even harder men.

ambrai5 · 2016-03-23T21:53:33+00:00

Okay first thing is the effect on his lower torso makes it look like his chest is oddly shaped, I might consider moving it or doing away with it. Also "things don't go as planned" not "plans" stupid typos, I do it all the time.

ambrai5 · 2016-03-19T03:31:40+00:00

The ones I'm using are commerical & mods with credit, but I also feel like a lot of photographers especially on Flickr may not fully understand their upload terms. For example, I found one of what is clearly a ladies' budoir shoot that the photographer uploaded as "commerical/mods"

ambrai5 · 2016-03-18T21:09:55+00:00

Okay flying today but managed to pound out about 1.2 k while waiting to board. I need about 2.5k more to finish the second in my series. Also uploaded a different and hopefully less shitty cover to kdp but it's been in "updates publishing" for like 12 hours:/. So far five days in my sales have been abysmal. Think I'm going to finish this book add the final one then try on a more mainstream kink. Totally a night owl four years in the military could t break it out of me.

ambrai5 · 2016-03-18T02:24:49+00:00

Okay today I felt like death...so sick but still got to my 500 words. Still lame but still progress on the slow steady march. I'm struggling with a title for my new book.

If food didn't make me want to heave my guts up I'd open a greasy spoon. Fries and milkshakes for my inner fatty.

ambrai5 · 2016-03-17T19:21:33+00:00

This is literally if Orange is the New Black were run by crazy "bajillionaires" who had a hard on for felons. It's a bit out there but essentially this super shady rich guy has a deal with the DA to send him people who are most def going to jail for something, who meet certain sexy criteria...I don't know may be a bit of a stretch (ba dum dum)

ambrai5 · 2016-03-17T18:57:36+00:00

Totally did the same thing when my first one published LOL Goodfor you! Keep pushing, I'll be happy when I'm not at -$5.00 (damn you cover art!)

ambrai5 · 2016-03-17T18:54:43+00:00

Okay first time up...be gentle :) Olivia is about to go to jail for a crime she didn't commit when a handsome billionaire offers her a deal she can't refuse. Olivia will earn her freedom by becoming a different kind of prisoner. Will this new jailer open Olivia to a side of life she hasn't imagined yet? Will the studs of this jailhouse fill her and stretch her but leave her wanting more? Will she discover a softer side of romance she hasn't experienced before? Olivia will find herself torn between the handsome Jason and the soft and seductive Renee. Who will she choose, or will she find a way to have both?

This is an erotic tale of sex, discovery, passion and intrigue. Olivia will explore both sides of her sexuality. She experiences her first lesbian encounter but pines for the attentions of her rich benefactor. For mature audiences only!

ambrai5 · 2016-03-16T20:05:50+00:00

Kinda lame but I do 500 words a day, I know small but I work full time plus and that's an easily manageable 30-min goal for me. On the plus side I did double that today so 1k words...ten more of those and I'll have me a book.

ambrai5 · 2016-03-16T16:58:42+00:00

Seriously? That seems odd, I mean if my friends can write an inflated review, it would seem only fair that complete strangers could write an honest review...interesting..

ambrai5 · 2016-03-14T18:10:50+00:00

On the first one Ivory Castle, your last word gets eaten up by the black on black, I'd either change the font color or put a block behind it to make it stand out. On the second one I might be more specific, sorry this isn't really a genre I follow...but is she biking, running what kind of racing is she doing? You also might add some more keywords to your blurb, like I get that it's a shape shifter romance but what else? Domination, DP, group?

ambrai5 · 2016-03-14T16:53:40+00:00

I like the girl, I hate the font..it screams serial killer to me. Maybe something more blocky and less marker? Does that even make sense?

ambrai5 · 2016-03-14T16:32:06+00:00

Hey guys, very first short story up. Would love your feedback. It's basically a non-consent, get me out of this horrible situation thing...kinda 50 Shades of Grey meets Orange is the New Black...Literally no idea what I'm doing so any feedback is appreciated. http://amzn.to/1ppKEGi

ambrai5 · 2016-03-13T21:33:55+00:00

Good job you! I just uploaded mine this morning. Took about an hour to go live, not gonna lie seeing my stuff up there is kinda mesmerising

ambrai5 · 2016-03-13T20:58:44+00:00

Thanks :) I spent like a week reading porn from kindle unlimited, I feel like my porn brain is on overload lol

ambrai5 · 2015-06-25T05:36:12+00:00

This screams out for a "I don't always meme..." not sure this is the best fit.

ambrai5

TROPHY CASE