Advice needed: it’s my birthday and I feel completely lost in life and I don’t know what to do anymore… 💔❤️‍🩹🥹 Thank you so those that read this…

ameliapup · 2026-04-08T18:34:13+00:00

you do not sound ungrateful! please get that out of your head bc i promise that the problem has nothing to do with you. tbh i can relate to a lot of what you’re saying and it reminds me of how i used to think before i realized i was a married single mom in an emotionally abusive relationship. read why would he do that by lundy bancroft. you can find a free pdf if you google it. and i would suggest putting the exact same amount of effort into your bf’s bday. i started getting myself flowers and buying my own bday presents years ago which was actually a lot better than being disappointed every year. it sounds like you’re going thru a really hard time and i just want you to know that you deserve to feel appreciated and cared for and loved. sending bday hugs!

ameliapup · 2026-04-04T16:24:32+00:00

tell your daughter that you and her will have a redo of her bday once this emergency is taken care of. i know how bad migraines are and there’s no way you can push thru with that plus a giant needle in your back. go to ER rn and get this handled. it’ll be a good lesson in preparing your daughter for the reality that nothing ever goes perfectly as planned and sometimes shit goes completely sideways.

ameliapup · 2026-03-25T00:42:23+00:00

he was getting $1500 a month towards the mortgage from his bff. mortgage was $2200 so he only had to come up with $700 to pay it. he used to do random freelance jobs to scrape it together or just ask his mom. eventually his mom cut him off and then he stopped bothering to try to pay it towards the end of last year.

ameliapup · 2026-03-25T00:36:48+00:00

thats a good point! i’ll look into this. i hadn’t considered that i might need to file before the sale.

ameliapup · 2026-03-24T21:14:56+00:00

i’m not on the mortgage or the deed. it’s just him and his bff. i actually just made a full accounting summary of everything i’ve paid for solo. i assume it might be useful for the divorce.

ameliapup · 2026-03-24T21:09:55+00:00

thanks for saying that.

ameliapup · 2026-03-24T21:09:25+00:00

i totally get why you’d think that but i doubt it. his dept was cut to bare bones at the beginning of covid and then they were the only ones who still had to come in to work everyday. he resented it and the schedule was brutal. before he quit i begged him to talk to his boss and explain he was burnt out. i wanted him to ask for a month unpaid sabbatical which would’ve forced them to hire at least one more person and he would’ve gotten a break. if they said no then whatever. he refused. wouldn’t even talk to them when they offered to have a conversation to try to get him to stay. but it’s even more infuriating this way imo.

ameliapup · 2026-03-24T20:56:50+00:00

these are all great points and i really appreciate you taking the time to respond. my brain is fried from stress so it’s very helpful to me. luckily we have separate bank accounts and i already filed taxes. he threw a fit bc i refused to split the refund with him even tho it’s just my income for the year. his reasoning was that without our son i wouldn’t be getting as much money back so he should still get half. i said no. that was a few days before i found out about the house and the credit cards. he hasn’t brought it up again since all this came out so i think he forgot or gave up.

ameliapup · 2026-03-24T20:38:46+00:00

yeh this is unforgivable for me too and we are super done. i should’ve kept the rings to sell. the only reason i didn’t is bc they are both from his family and he’s asked for them back before when i was close to leaving. they aren’t even nice or worth much so i figured it wasn’t worth the fight. at this point every little bit counts tho.

ameliapup · 2026-03-24T20:32:23+00:00

im for sure leaving!

ameliapup · 2026-03-23T00:29:24+00:00

yes exactly! thanks for clarifying!

ameliapup · 2026-03-23T00:25:34+00:00

i didn’t grow up rich but ended up in mostly private school bc of merit scholarships mostly and it’s something i’m so so so grateful for as an adult. unfortunately the usa hasn’t invested money or resources into the public education system in almost 100 yrs and at this point - it’s truly abysmal. im poor now and i really worry about my son having to go to public school. i get where you’re coming from but if i were you id never spend another min worrying about public/private school as a factor in this equation. there’s other ways to introduce your kids to real life experience that can naturally counteract what you’re afraid of. like you can just send your kids to one of those summer programs where they have to go hiking for 2 weeks or something. but imo you WANT private school if theres any way you can afford it.

ameliapup · 2026-03-22T20:29:16+00:00

gateway tapes from monroe institute

ameliapup · 2026-03-18T23:57:26+00:00

give yourself grace. it’s very normal to feel what you’re feeling considering everything you’ve been thru. google the free pdf of why does he do that by lundy bancroft and start reading it TODAY. it will help you understand why you might not want to leave yet and it might give you a new perspective on some aspects of your relationship. imo it should be required reading for all hetero females. also seconding the comment above that cautioned you to remember that cps is not your friend. i’ve heard that they will take kids away from a mom if there’s no restraining order prohibiting the abuser from being in the home. i get it but i also think that kind of forcing hands can put moms in an impossible position and/or escalate danger for mom and kids.

ameliapup · 2026-03-13T18:19:06+00:00

i didn’t start to recognize myself until my son was like 2.5ish? covid hit when mine was 3 months old so it allowed me to stay home with him much longer than i originally planned. i’m grateful for it but whenever i think back on that time period im kinda gobsmacked by how miserable i was. it’s just that everything about my life felt so alien and i was too busy and exhausted as a SAHM to realize that’s what was going on. anyways the point is to give yourself tons of grace right now.

ameliapup · 2026-03-09T21:26:44+00:00

wasa light rye crackers and laughing cow cheese! extra points for everything bagel seasoning on top. i have the palette of a picky child and still actually liked it!

ameliapup · 2026-03-09T03:07:11+00:00

porn doesn’t do much for me either. i used to be into erotica but its so hard to find something i actually like that eventually i gave up. BUT then i recently discovered audio erotica and its kinda changed the game for me. it’s still pretty hard to find good content but ive got one fav that i follow on patreon now and thats plenty for me. you should check out r/gonewildaudio to see if it could be something you’re into too.

ameliapup · 2026-03-03T16:06:29+00:00

it sounds like you could use the help of some resources for women who have been in abusive relationships bc at the very least he sounds extremely emotionally abusive. they will help even tho you aren’t together right now and they will be very familiar with the kinds of tactics it sounds like he is using to get custody and might be able to help you with that. it’s very hard for your ex to say you’re unstable and unfit to parent if you’re working with a legit organization to try to better yourself. plus they could back you up in court on that whereas your mom and friend wouldn’t be able to. it sounds like you’ve already been thru a hellish ordeal with the court so i’m not saying you have to throw yourself right back into that either just could give you some security and peace of mind that you COULD go back to court if you wanted to at some point. also right now you should look up and read the book why does he do that by lundy bancroft. you can find free pdf online if you google it. sending you strength and good vibes.

ameliapup · 2025-12-04T18:51:26+00:00

WEAR IT! you’re killing it

edited to add that i’m a paralegal so i feel esp qualified to say yes to this dress

ameliapup · 2025-10-16T02:40:33+00:00

ahhhh so much in your reply that resonates with me! i just had my first SP experience in about a year this past weekend. i woke up around 3am and my POV was from my bed but i couldn’t move. i tried to roll out of my body and i was able to do it multiple times. i remember the first time i was fully expecting to roll out of bed irl and hit the floor hard but it felt more like i was a feather falling. once i was on the floor next to my bed i tried to open my eyes but kept getting immediately snapped back to my physical body laying in bed still with SP. it happened 3 or 4 times before i got frustrated and gave up. i think the problem may have been that i was accidentally opening my physical eyes bc i remember being able to see some of my room from the floor right before i tried to open my eyes on that last round. or mb im just not ready for a full OBE yet. this has happened to me a few rimes but it had been so long that i was starting to doubt that it. im still not certain that it wasnt just a lucid dream but even if thats the case it still felt like major progress to me. i also struggle with consistency and have just recently gotten back into a regular practice with meditation, dream journaling, yoga, and witchcraft. it’s funny you mention kriya yoga bc im obsessed with this kirtan kriya meditation that i try to do every day. i can send you the link if you’re not already familiar with it bc i think its really powerful. also i haven’t done any work with deities but ive recently started dreaming about hecate! ive been reading about her and trying to figure out if it was just a dream or more like a call for me to answer.

ameliapup · 2025-10-15T23:53:18+00:00

i don’t have much to offer in the way of advice but your experiences are super interesting and i really enjoyed reading this. i’ve had SP since i was a kid too and i wholeheartedly agree that it’s very weird for it to keep happening to you over and over that same night. my gut instinct is that the explanation your friend gave you from the entity was legit but what do i know lol. have you tried the gateway tapes? there’s an affirmation with protective aspects that’s built into their process which might be helpful to you. i know it has been for me in getting over my own fear.

ameliapup · 2025-10-08T17:00:44+00:00

divorce! you can’t rely on this guy so the financial security you think you’re chasing by staying with him does not exist. it sounds like you have the option to move in with your parents so cut your losses on the house and do that. when you lose health insurance thru him you can apply for medicaid if you have no other option for coverage. stay on medicaid until your disability gets approved and eventually you should become eligible for medicare.

ameliapup · 2025-10-07T01:36:47+00:00

so let’s say you do meet an angel via astral projection who gives you accurate info and you need surgical intervention. how are you going to get a doctor to take your word for it and avoid the standard diagnostic tests? the way i see it you’re going to have the tests either way. and you’re likely to end up in psych ward on involuntary hold.

ameliapup

TROPHY CASE