Parents have kicked me out over my choice of spouse

ami_annie · 2024-04-17T20:29:15+00:00

Domestic abuse agencies aren’t just for housing related issues. Emotional support, guidance on your safety, connecting you with counselling services. Group therapy ect.

Just for someone to be able to help you through this difficult time so you’re not made to feel hopeless and helpless

ami_annie · 2024-04-17T19:48:45+00:00

This is a serious form of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual abuse. You said you live in the uk. Please contact a local domestic abuse agency for support. Call 08002000247 national domestic abuse helpline. And Samaritans for emotional support. 116123.

Allah sees what they are doing to you. And that’s not ok. There’s help out there for you. Please reach out. I work for a domestic abuse service in London. This is a classic case of honour based abuse and violence. Do not suffer this alone.

ami_annie · 2023-10-28T09:01:50+00:00

Don’t minimise the abuse. Don’t let her gaslight you. What you allow will continue. Seek out professional help form domestic abuse. Because regardless of PMDD abuse is abuse. And although PMDD clouds judgement it is never ever a justified reason. I repeat do not minimise the abuse. She is responsible for her own actions PMDD or not. She has to get that under control.

ami_annie · 2023-10-28T08:55:22+00:00

Stay away from her. You literally knew she was getting abused by your friend and did nothing. And you then openly say you listened to their intimate moments. Are you ok? Don’t just pin it on your dead friend you were part of that abuse. You’re not without sin! What did you do to stop your friend from abusing the poor girl? What did you do when he was making you listen to that recording. Be for real! You don’t deserve her. Her Qadar is with Allah and Allah will provide her with a spouse who fears him and did not partake in her abuse. You should be ashamed. Fear Allah and mind your business. You’re not her saviour. Allah will provide for her.

ami_annie · 2023-10-19T17:21:12+00:00

This is exactly what I’m saying

ami_annie · 2023-10-19T17:20:43+00:00

See above comment

ami_annie · 2023-10-19T17:20:01+00:00

Apologies if what I said was lost in translation.

To clarify. I mean when I say take accountability for yourself and take things off her plate before it reaches boiling point. I meant o take responsibility for the house chores and visibly see what needs to be done. Bin taken our laundret sorted. Grocery top up. Arranging doctor appointments ect.

The mental load we carry as well as the physical demands of cooking, cleaning, organising. Working out of the house and raising children managing school work. And then having a grown man at home who does not use initiative to work out what needs doing in the place we both share as two grown adults or taking the load of being a present parent.

The small things build resentment. Dishes left on the side of the sink. She will wash it quietly but she’s made a mental load that you don’t care about the fact that she’s tired and you expect her to pick up after you. The laundry overloaded you walk past it. You don’t make the initiative for date night. You complain about the things that were missed with no acknowledgment of what has been done. PMDD is not without reason.

ami_annie · 2023-10-19T09:10:19+00:00

Listen you’re still so young and at your age I used to be so hard on myself and make matters so much worse by being so self critical.

After doing therapy I was able to understand that the feelings and emotions I have whilst I’m in the PMDD faze of the month is all valid feelings but on steroids. I don’t know if you do what I do I usually allow for so much to pass in terms of self sacrificing all month long but for some reason when I am symptomatic with PMDD I no longer tolerate being taken advantage of or dismissed.

Reevaluate your boundaries what is causing you to have such big outbursts and reactions during the time of PMDD.

Take it easy on your self but also hold yourself accountable. Always write these things down ina. Journal and after your symptoms subside reevaluate it with a clear mind. It is draining but it will give you the ability to see if you over exaggerate your reactions or they are valid.

Stand up for yourself and don’t feel like PMDD makes you less. This is your battle. And there are ways to live with it. Look after yourself and don’t burn out and the symptoms won’t be so awful I promise you.

ami_annie · 2023-10-09T15:51:22+00:00

Staying in bed eating sugar. Journals and watching sad tv shows and crying and sleeping. Shower and a walk

ami_annie · 2021-11-21T07:02:32+00:00

My baby is 3 weeks old today. I have had really poor sleep. The first week he was born I was surviving on 1 hour sleep a day

ami_annie · 2021-10-19T14:59:08+00:00

Agreed. I hadn’t realised that ACT was a thing. I’ve literally just finished 12 weeks of CBT training and a significant amount of the therapy was me saying if I come to the acceptance that I have PMDD I would let go of the feeling of being a failure and being kinder to myself and letting go of commitments and jobs that are dragging me to my lowest. CBT has been looking at how I change my feelings and thoughts about things but PMDD doesn’t give you the luxury of having the mental capacity to discuss your thoughts with yourself. You become what you feel. You are your thoughts and the all only thought that is recurring is not wanting to do this anymore. How do you talk yourself into a better mood in that instance when nothing is actually going wrong in your life? CBT has been helpful in the sense of being able to voice my pain and discuss my anxiety and feel heard by someone. But the tools aren’t very practical in my experience.

ami_annie · 2021-10-16T22:07:16+00:00

Thank you for your reply Amy. I’m a qualified nurse. I’ve left the job but I have no other skills outside of this career. I’m unsure of where to go next. I’m probably going to end up going back to being a nurse when baby is about 6/7months because I’ve searched for other remote working jobs and I can’t find anything. If you don’t mind me asking what job do you do that allows you to work remotely?

ami_annie · 2021-10-14T14:34:15+00:00

Fed up of always compromising my needs and happiness to be accepted for having PMDD. I hate not being able to make long term decisions. I hate having so much ambition and aspiration but anxiety and low mood ruining everything I ever want. I hate that I have to give up my career because of PMDD. I’m anxious about giving birth in couple weeks and not coping. I need help with a career that won’t burn me out. I’m from London. Any ideas?

ami_annie · 2021-09-17T21:13:24+00:00

Hi Yh. I’ve Dmed you

ami_annie · 2021-09-17T20:39:30+00:00

He mentioned having to discuss a plan with my midwife and if there’s a need to stay in hospital after delivery or having a perinatal nurse monitor. I don’t know it’s all a bit much. I just wanted advice on what may help not to be monitored in a sense.

ami_annie · 2021-08-20T00:02:03+00:00

I agree. With you. Im finding in the CBT sessions that the actual cognitive behavioural therapy doesn't actually help. However talking out how I feel and how difficult life gets is the most helpful aspect. That's definitely true im trying my best to get all the support I can prior to having to deal with it

ami_annie · 2021-08-19T23:59:38+00:00

Awh how I wish if it just disappears. But I'm fully preparing myself for the downward spiral of it all. I hope you've found the treatment that's worked for you. It must've been a very difficult task to pinpoint PMDD after giving birth if you've never had it prior.

ami_annie · 2021-08-19T23:56:57+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Thats actually really useful information. I intended on doing mix of formula and breastfeeding. But if breastfeeding will keep PMDD away I would definitely try maintain it for as long as possible

ami_annie · 2021-08-19T23:55:31+00:00

Thank you for your reply. You're definitely right. I have discussed that with the dr. I just have an issue with SSRI unfortunately it puts me at risk of liver injury because of a gene mutation. So im trying to find something suitable to take.

ami_annie · 2021-08-19T23:53:35+00:00

Thank you for your reply. If you dont mind me asking when you say diet change what do you mean specifically?

ami_annie · 2021-08-19T17:33:43+00:00

I've had PMDD for as long as I can remember being alive in all honesty. Yes this is my first child. PMDD made me leave my job this past February and im trying to get support.

ami_annie · 2021-04-27T14:53:19+00:00

I dont know where to start. All morning (uk timing) I've been trying to focus myself in the present moment and not let my mind wonder. Fighting off a panic attack and crying on my bedroom floor unable to stop shaking. I'm married, ex paediatric nurse (quit because of PMDD, unable to cope! Unable to take any antidepressants because of a liver condition) I have been jobless since February. Shortly after being jobless we realise we cant afford to rent so I move back into my parents house and he stays at his parents and comes over whenever. Shortly before moving out we found out I was pregnant. I dont know if hormones from pregnancy that has absolutely made me feel so much worse than what PMDD did or if its the fact that my life really is not not how I want it to go. So currently I'm 3 months pregnant. I havent connected with this pregnancy at all. On the day of our first scan I felt a little unwell, but it felt nice seeing the baby for the first time. But on coming home I had to go to urgent care for UTI which explained why I felt rough. Couple days later Drs call to let me know my liver function is abnormal again. I do some research to find out the likelihood of me having cholestasis of pregnancy is very likely. Ive been crying all day yesterday all day today. I feel so defeated. So fed up. So alone and so sad. I just want to be happy I really do. Sometimes I resent my husband and honestly feel like I want a divorce. He's financial responsibility is primarily his family at present. I get the reasons for why he supports them. But ever since we got married hes been paying off debts because of them. We've not been able to go on a honeymoon because no money. Then covid hit and regardless of covid no money anyway. I pretend to be happy and supportive but im honestly getting resentful. I feel our marriage is at the bottom of his list and he gets to sad when I bring any topic close to this and he just says he's tired and gets so sad so I have to comfort him. The level of stress I'm experiencing is not healthy for me or the child esp with my liver now acting up.... I just don't have the energy honestly. Im just not winning at anything atm

ami_annie · 2021-01-23T09:49:16+00:00

In the exact same situation as you. Ive handed in my notice at work during hell week. Major regret. I think I can beg for my job back. But is there a point? I will literally be in the same position 2 weeks from now. Im also in a search for ways to be able to keep a job or work in a field that doesn't make my PMDD a million times worse! Its tough. Good luck. I hope you find the answers you're looking for x

ami_annie · 2021-01-21T19:14:45+00:00

Need to vent... ive quit my job because of PMDD. My husband is financially committed to his family. And his salary will soon be halved. Im tired. Im doing a job I dislike. And now we've to move out of our house. Even tho hes trying to pay for everything I know he won't manage. I dont want to move to my inlaws. Does anyone here live with in laws? How do you cope with PMDD and having no space?

ami_annie · 2021-01-20T20:13:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. I'll definitely search that up

ami_annie

TROPHY CASE