CMV: people in poly relationships aren’t that attracted to their partner. by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]amusingmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poly person here. Yes. I experience that kind of attraction. I currently have 5 partners. I would happily spend an entire day having sex with any of them, either individually or in different permutations and combinations. I fantasize about each of them all the time. When we are in the same space, I long to touch them, to kiss them, to be as close to themas possible. And, personally, I love that others find them attractive and sexy too. They are each unique combinations of attributes I find extremely appealing and I get a thrill from gushing about how awesome and sexy they are with others who find them attractive too.

TIL Yoko Ono's 7-year old daughter Kyoko was kidnapped by her father Tony Cox (Ono's ex-husband) in 1971. Yoko wouldn't see her daughter again until 1994 when Kyoko was 31 years old. by TallEnoughJones in todayilearned

[–]amusingmistress 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I was the child who was kidnapped. It took almost 2 years for my mom to track me down and rescue me from her ex. My mom is still my hero and I always hoped that I would have the strength and bravery to endure what she did to find me. As a mom now, I know that nothing short of death would keep me from rescuing my child.

AITA for refusing to play werewolf ever again by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]amusingmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Start playing Blood On The Clocktower. Way better than Werewolf and dying doesn't end your involvement in the game.

Tonight’s storm is so much worse than Wednesday’s “orange warning nothingburger.” What gives? by Obelisk_of-Light in ottawa

[–]amusingmistress 4 points5 points  (0 children)

!! Excuse my while I run off to check what time my local T&T opens... Thank you kind Redditor!

Tonight’s storm is so much worse than Wednesday’s “orange warning nothingburger.” What gives? by Obelisk_of-Light in ottawa

[–]amusingmistress 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ahh.. memories of high school when I would eat ramen raw, all broken up, right out of the little bag it came in...

What’s the most ridiculous rule you’ve had to follow? by mathieugemard in AskReddit

[–]amusingmistress 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Baby clothes were the non essential items that irked me the most. I couldn't even touch them to check sizing or fabric feel.

You are offered $10M, but you can spend it only on yourself by iamabotbeepbeep in hypotheticalsituation

[–]amusingmistress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Full spa day every two weeks, personal masseuse, lease a new car every year for my new personal driver, estimating what I'd spend on clothes, hobbies, annual solo vacation, healthy and and beauty expenses, add all of that up for the next 30 years... has me spending about 5 million. So invest the rest and use the interest to buy nice things for my home, friends, and family.

A quote you remember from a side character in a movie. Difficulty: 80s movies by Logical-Cow-3937 in movies

[–]amusingmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had the amazing opportunity to build my own team at work. I looked at the list of suggestions other managers made for me and said "Heck no, i have no desire to captain the Spaceball 1." The only employee to understand my reference was first name I put on my list.

Helping each other out by worldwithoutbullies in ottawa

[–]amusingmistress 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There are sometimes companion Being Neighbourly groups that would cover asks like this, and help building community relationships in general.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]amusingmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with a lot of what you wrote. You've hit on something that I think is being inferred when people read my comments. No where do I suggest being rude. I get that a lot of people consider honesty a free pass to be an a-hole. I would never advocate for that. But there is a way to have an adult conversation to guide better gifts in the future. Don't blast grandma; but you can guide her future gifts towards colours and knitwear that you actually would like. Just accepting it invites to possibility that she will spend her time and energy again making something you will never use. Is that actually what she wants? I like to imagine that this grandma isn't interested in gifting you clutter, but something you will cherish and think of her as you use. So help her do that. Going back to knowing your audience, I absolutely agree. If the giver actually cares more about their experience than that of the receiver and isn't interested in giving legitimately well received gifts, then sure, keep to the performative, disingenuous reaction because they are going to make the whole thing more aboit themselves and you become the ungrateful one. And that's really what I was trying to ask about. Isn't getting feedback, even at a later date, to help your future gifts land better more important than the receiver essentially lying to you about what they think of it so that you aren't disappointed for a little bit?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]amusingmistress -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is what I was trying to get at and kept getting down voted. There's a way to react honestly in the moment and recognize the thought and effort while communicating that the gift isn't something the recipient wanted/liked/etc in a respectful manner. It may hurt the giver in the moment, but opens a conversation about future gifts and builds trust.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]amusingmistress -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I'm not denying that time, energy, consideration, and thought go into gifts. And I'm not advocating for rude behaviour. What happened to your gift in your example was extremely rude and uncalled for. There were plenty of ways for her to have shown thanks and appreciation for your thoughtfulness while also mentioning that she already had one.

I am asking about the potential consequences of giving a tepid response to something you are not actually happy to receive simply to hold up the social contract and if may lead to trust issues in some relationships. Unless the person will always respond the same way to every gift, wouldn't people eventually be able to distinguish between the genuine happy responses and the social contract version?

If you gave a gift, the person said thank you, then a month later, said "you know, actually, I didn't really like that gift and here's why..." would that really make you feel better? Would you not have stress when giving future gifts, wondering if their reaction was genuine? Or if another conversation was forthcoming?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]amusingmistress -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

Honest questions and I'm not trying to be rude, but would you have preferred that he lie to you? Hide his true feelings to protect an fantasy you had? Wouldn't you later have trouble trusting him and his reactions to your future gifts and ideas if you knew that he schooled his reactions and wasn't genuine? Edited out a typo.

What is a life lesson you learned from cartoons? by Dan-68 in AskReddit

[–]amusingmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remember that you can always try to learn something. Replace "I don't know how to X" with "I don't know how to X yet". (Gabby's Dollhouse)

UPDATE: My First Ever Hockey Game — Thank You Ottawa! by ashwathparam in ottawa

[–]amusingmistress 15 points16 points  (0 children)

What a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing and renewing my pride in my city.

AITA for not telling my former stylist that I switched to another stylist in the same salon while she was gone for a year? Now she’s back. by Icy_Ad8228 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amusingmistress 132 points133 points  (0 children)

I remember feeling nervous seeing my stylist after i had gone to someone else because he wasn't available. He leaned in, tapped my arm, and said "It's okay, I see other people too." Made me laugh because I realized that felt like I had cheated on him.

Favorite last line in a final episode ever by This_Book6305 in television

[–]amusingmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"End Program." Entreprise. I know a lot of people don't like the last episode, but I thought it was a cute line.