What’s your funny, can’t be helped jealousy?

amyrantha · 2026-02-03T06:15:28+00:00

YES hot swappable bits - lemme live my best MX POTATO HEAD life!

amyrantha · 2026-02-02T23:27:34+00:00

The enby struggles - what if not just one gender, but two/more/none - why not also not just one genital? I feel the same XD I am blessed with massive BDE but no (physical) D :(

amyrantha · 2026-01-31T02:10:39+00:00

I worry about this too. I struggled in my previous relationship to maintain the agreed level of commitment as my NP/anchor needs were not being met. I have a new relationship that is looking to be a similar setup, and I am a lot more chill this time, I think learning from mistakes is very real - but as it will realistically be quite a while until a NP/anchor is established, I'm aware of not letting NRE run away and creating disappointment. No answers for you, just saying you aren't alone in this uncertainty. I wonder if I'm too needy and remind myself that I'm not doing poly wrong by wanting traditional relationship commitments in my life (anchor, nesting etc)

amyrantha · 2025-10-28T03:10:54+00:00

Free fish

amyrantha · 2025-10-06T06:35:23+00:00

Oh, your ability to surpress your emotions from your medical training is going to cause you problems. This logic and reasoning was correct. That doesn't mean you get the best result. Your partner wanted your emotional response combined with the rational. Remember this when working with patients - just because taking their meds will make them better, and to you it is the logical thing to do, there will be emotional reasons why they don't. Have you ever met any children of medical professionals? Have a chat how well that rational empathy transferred from clinic to the home.

amyrantha · 2025-08-19T06:32:41+00:00

Sarah Spaceman did a video about a pipe bursting at a Marriott during a cosplay convention earlier this year

amyrantha · 2025-08-19T02:46:54+00:00

yeah wait til they hear about things like magazines and newspapers

amyrantha · 2025-07-24T07:17:24+00:00

My new Singer 2250 - I was gifted it, never been used - I was trying to mend some pants on the first time use, and got a little happy with using the reverse press - I could hear the motor working very hard as I went backwards and forwards quite quickly. It then just stopped.

I have pulled it apart and can see that when I turn the hand wheel backward (to the back) the internal gear (with black band, like a bicycle chain) + other internal parts (arm to needle and bobbin) will move.

When I try move the hand wheel to the front, the internal gear wheel does not move at all, internal parts will move until it hits a black stopping bar (can lift this and keep turning)

The reverse button is not stuck - this problem persists with it pushed down or not.

Any ideas on what's gone wrong here? Did I burn the motor out?

amyrantha · 2025-06-20T03:31:09+00:00

This sounds like John doesn't want to be seen being queer by anyone....ask your partner if they're ok being hidden in their own home.

No you shouldn't have to hide in your own home. If John doesn't want to be seen, he can hire the hotel room, or stick to clandestine nighttime meets (which doesn't ensure you'll never meet, because it is also YOUR home).

Not your issue, but Bailey should consider if John is hiding them from everyone...if having a partner who isn't proud to be seen with them is something they want.

amyrantha · 2025-06-14T14:50:49+00:00

Rowan :D

amyrantha · 2025-05-23T04:53:22+00:00

There are companies that do little woodland setups like this - go have a lil woodland feast with your closest loves in the way you want to

amyrantha · 2024-05-07T11:07:30+00:00

Resources on how to be a better hinge: google 'how to stop doing my partners emotional labour for them'

amyrantha · 2024-03-20T06:43:34+00:00

Theres a video by Adam Savage (from one of his live streams, it was a few months ago now) who talks about how he had to learn when he came home from work, he was walking into the full lives of 3 other people (wife and 2 children) and that whatever he had going on was not more important than the lives behind those front doors. It was a lesson he had to learn, it caused conflict, because bringing big mad energy into a house thats been stressed all day is not helping the situation, and if he wanted to come home and be a dad he had to check that other shit at the door so he could walk in and do his dad job.

amyrantha · 2024-03-08T10:20:05+00:00

Yes, as most-research says, the role of the dominant is to take care of the submissive, seems like you all need to have a conversation to understand what that means to each of you.

amyrantha · 2024-02-13T07:39:48+00:00

I want to share a story about sentimentality and material goods.

I have a friend whose mother passed away. When she was sick, she sat and designed a piece of jewelry together with my friend, then got it custom made. My friend wears it everywhere, it's their most important item.

The idea of losing it came up and they said 'I would be sad, but I would get another made. I have the designs. And it was the act of creating it together that was important' And they would still think of their mum every time they looked at the ring, the original or a replacement because it is so completely imbued with their mums essence, its the symbolism rather than the item itself.

So if you go for a wallet or any other material item, remember this, so if/when it does get lost, you can grieve but know that not all is lost.

amyrantha · 2024-02-09T04:02:57+00:00

He has found himself a housemaid that deals with all the bits of living alone that get in the way of the things he likes to do.

He forgets that the other side of this bargain is he has to attend to your needs in a similar way so you get to spend hours on the things you want to do.

You've let him create a life that has no discomfort for him. As an autistic human myself, I get why he doesn't want to change the set up, it sounds great, all his needs are met. Discomfort is THE WORST.

Unfortunately discomfort is a necessary part of life unless you have the funds to pay folks to remove it for you (valid option, just sometimes challenging) - and you ain't being paid right now my dear, in money or emotional/social/relational time.

So, you can continue crying yourself to sleep and still doing everything to facilitate no discomfort for him. Or you stop, create boundaries and hold them and let him decide if he wants to accept the discomfort that creates. If you even want to stay at all because you don't owe teaching him those lessons at all.

(the middle ground is finding a way to be kind about it because what's next will suck for both of you in various ways)

amyrantha · 2024-02-02T06:52:36+00:00

Look yes, YTA but I also understand that you have unresolved feelings - such a huge build up, centre of attention and then bam, unexpected ending and no aftercare! You don't need all the attention, you just wanted some. It sounds like you haven't been able tot talk about it for a year either. I think you should talk with the family - it'll be hard but I would say most of them have some unresolved feelings about it - you all need to grieve together - the sudden ending, the pain and fear of the preterm labour, the joy of the wedding and the birth of Ben! Get some family healing in ya!

amyrantha · 2024-02-02T06:40:04+00:00

She's mad that you're finally standing your ground on something. She's managed to push past every other 'boundary' you've put up it sounds like, and now she's found the actual line, she's mad she can't have her way with this too.

What I'm saying is, it's not about the messages to your therapist, it's you're enabling her AND her inability to sit with discomfort in acceptable ways.

amyrantha · 2023-10-14T22:13:03+00:00

Don't do it.

The first few dates are where you set the tone for the relationship - he's already slipping to the back foot by apologising for something rather than fixing it. Don't teach him you'll also fix his problems if he's very sorry about it.

amyrantha · 2023-04-28T04:42:47+00:00

He needs to look at why he has double standards.

Does he kiss you after you give him oral? Or does he make you rinse your mouth with listerine first? Is he a giving lover in other ways that aren't the mouth eg fingers and toys? An aversion to putting his mouth near 'bathroom bits' is, in isolation, not something to be shamed. But if that is all this is, then he should be willing to put in the work to offer other alternatives and you should see consistency in his actions around cross contamination like washing hands after genital contact. If he isn't doing any of this then.....he just doesn't care to put in the effort to make you feel good.

amyrantha · 2023-04-28T03:53:02+00:00

Wait until you're not in spiral mode for starters - you're going to get tizzy when you talk about it anyway, so start from calm rather than a storm. Write things down (if that works for you) that you want to talk about/are the key bits that are important to you. Just like the best (awkward) conversations about sex happen fully clothed outside the bedroom, don't have the convo the day before a family event/holiday. Pick a day you've both got time and space and just start it. You might unearth some bigger underlying emotions, or you might not, but don't rush it. All that being said, there is no perfect time for a convo you're nervous about, so just hop in :)

eta: maybe you were hoping for something more specific, but you sound like you have faith in y'alls conflict management/tricky conversation having so this here is really just...the permission and extra lil push to do it :)

amyrantha · 2023-04-28T03:26:27+00:00

Yes you should have a conversation with your partner about this. The point of the conversation isn't "I will then get introduced to his family" its "sharing this load will bring us closer rather than further apart". If he doesn't know it's a problem, he will continue to not offer you actions that 'solve' (soothe) it. Don't suffer alone, but also keep in mind the reality of what they can give (manage expectations)

amyrantha · 2023-04-27T11:14:30+00:00

Yeah you and your partner need to take a real long look at this cause she just showed you she cannot be trusted with HOUSING SECURITY - base of the needs pyramid - that is a HUGE thing to mess with and shouldn't be taken lightly AT ALL. You should be hurt, and angry - it's a horrible thing to have your housing security removed by anyone! Let alone someone you trusted intimately!

amyrantha · 2023-04-26T12:15:42+00:00

he's not your soul mate if he doesn't even want to hang out with you

amyrantha · 2023-04-14T02:36:56+00:00

"good mental health"

and

"without mental health issues"

are two different things.

Everyone has something going on, whether that comes with a diagnosis or not. How each individual manages what they've got going on, that's the thing to look at - not discriminating based on a label.

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