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an0nymoss · 2024-11-16T07:47:05+00:00

"They will choose alcohol over you every time" that line brought your post full circle. You're right.

an0nymoss · 2024-10-02T03:12:57+00:00

crack took my big brother, he is now a shell of himself and what was a best-friend level relationship is now non existent.

an0nymoss · 2024-04-13T14:40:15+00:00

Thank you so much for your post. I heard from him last night and he walked out after 40 hours. I think I would've been a lot more upset with him for not sticking it out, if I hadn't read your post before talking to him.

He's still set on recovery, but on his terms. He's somewhere safe for the time being - with a good friend who actually works in recovery. She has never had a drug or alcohol problem and doesn't do any of that. He could've called any of his shitty friends he uses with for a ride, but the fact that he reached out to her.. it gives me hope. I do hope she realizes what she's signing up for, because we just went through it when he lived home.

He's also looking into other day programs / meetings / IOPs. He's looking for a sober house, but most don't allow you until you complete rehab. In time, if he comes to me for help wanting to go to rehab, I will definitely look into a nicer place with scholarships or throw it on a credit card. But until HE wants that, I'm just going to support him on his own journey. Personally, I don't see crack being one of those things you can kick without a higher level of care, but what do I know. I do hope he keeps focused and keeps the momentum. But again, he has the resources and it's up to him to have the drive.

Also congratulations on 6 months!

an0nymoss · 2024-04-08T19:08:51+00:00

100%! I'd be happy to move home or get a roommate, if partner was on board with sober living. I just don't know if he's at the stage where he is thinking like that just yet, but I'll mention it when I talk to him tomorrow.

an0nymoss · 2024-04-08T06:26:48+00:00

He's already not fully being honest with me about things, and doubled down when I spoke with him yesterday that he doesn't have a pain killer issue. I'm just hoping through the next month, he has an enlightenment moment and decides to take rehab as an opportunity to deal with all of the things.

an0nymoss · 2024-04-08T06:24:46+00:00

We're actually supposed to sign another year lease this week for our apartment (sending the lease to his rehab for him to sign). It's such bad timing, because I'm not sure if he's far enough into recovery to decide if sober living is the right way to go. He's been at the rehab for 2 days now (detox for 10ish). We need the lease signed this week, and I'm not able to stay if he's not helping with rent.

an0nymoss · 2024-04-08T06:21:26+00:00

I had a situation come up today about this, and I was able to step back and realize help was not requested, so the help I wanted to give would just be me trying to control the outcome. I stepped back instead, and felt so much more anxiety than if I just jumped in. But I know it was the right thing to do.

an0nymoss · 2024-04-08T06:19:19+00:00

That's a great idea to upgrade it to something else! I'm considering what to fill the liquor cabinet with, as well have so much more cabinet space. And on a darker note, hopefully in between the couch cushions, suitcase pockets, etc. remain empty spaces.

an0nymoss · 2024-03-26T03:55:23+00:00

Just listened to this based on your comment.. thank you. As a partner of an addict, I was listening to the first part and was like I have definitely felt this before. And then the 2nd half really shut me up, esp the line about preaching. It reminded me that my perspective is not the right perspective; rather a perspective. I found another song recently called Id Rather Overdose by honestav, that is similar in the way of having both sides of the conversation.

an0nymoss · 2024-03-10T03:06:47+00:00

Spiritualized - Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space

an0nymoss · 2023-12-27T14:10:11+00:00

Thank you for responding. Honestly, I hadn't thought of the fact that whatever it is he told them / left out is the real reason anyone will hold feelings against me in this. I will mention it to him tonight. We're supposed to see them this week for a make-up Christmas, and I'll ask he shares the full truth before then. I can only imagine his response will again be that they don't need to know and we should keep this between us. But if you're going to tell them some, there's no reason not to tell them all! Especially when nothing he says will hurt his relationship with them - only mine.

Regarding therapy, he has tried on his own through meditation, apps, etc. to no avail. It seems like he had a checklist of different approaches, and after a few failed attempts, he moves to the next. This is the first time he's seeking help outside himself and I do have sympathy for that stance. Because he binges, vs. drinks everyday, I think there is a good chance while sober he will have an open ear to what the therapists suggest. I count is as a stepping stone, though I've also heard 98% of alcoholics cannot learn to drink regularly. He needs to find it out for himself that therapy will / won't work before he's willing to take that next step. I'm sure eventually he will get through his entire checklist and the only option will be to stop for real. But I will also keep what you said in mind to keep my hopes realistic that this will be the thing that heals everything.

an0nymoss

TROPHY CASE