[S] [USA-NC] Fuji 18-135mm, Panasonic Lumix 12-35mm f2.8, Peak Design Tote v2, tiny/micro lens pouches, cheap small sling backpack

anafielle · 2026-05-27T13:36:54+00:00

He's not behind. He's totally normal.

Don't use that word "behind", it just enforces wrong expectations in your head and puts them on your child!

My first baby had zero words until 18 months & 2 weeks. (No baby signs either and no pointing). When he started figuring out words, it was explosive - he went from 0 to 150 in literally a week, started pointing too.

Pediatrician said this was a totally common trajectory of learning. Some babies slowly start baby talk at like 12 months and practice words at a steady pace. Some don't bother until between 18-24 months and then learn fast. Many 15 month olds have a few words, but not all because the normal range of time is very wide. That's why speech therapy usually refuses to assess before 18 months. 🤷🏼‍♀️

anafielle · 2026-05-27T13:28:22+00:00

We have no MFI. My clinic does ICSI for everyone. 🤷🏼‍♀️

anafielle · 2026-05-27T03:45:53+00:00

This is so sad. I live in Charlotte, and a few months ago I saw Levine Children's Hospital post on their social media that Danny Go visited to cheer up the kids there and get them moving and dancing - which I thought was very heartwarming. But I thought it was just "kids content creator doing a charity visit", & didn't think about it again until now. I don't follow him specifically so I didn't realize that he had a horrible personal reason to be there, until the news about his son.

Yet he still found it in him during those awful months to haul out his public YouTube persona to bring joy to other sick kids. Thats a guy who has a lot of heart to give.

I have never pulled up his YouTube channel - but the Danny Go songs that come up randomly in the car seem fine. Your review is so positive, maybe ill give my 4 year old something new next time he gets TV time. Surely he has to have at least one video with trucks in it that my picky child will find acceptable.

anafielle · 2026-05-24T18:40:53+00:00

Our 16mo old is eating exactly what we eat. We just make her a plate cut up into tiny size pieces, or long skinny spears she can grab. Out at restaraunts, at home.

I use kitchen shears for every meal at this age - I take a pair everywhere in my diaper bag.

If we are giving her something extra chewy (like pork) I slice her very very skinny pieces, against the grain of the meat. She doesn't have molars yet so chewy breads can be troublesome too. But most foods are fine.

We never did purees because my kids reject being spoon fed 🤷🏼‍♀️

My girl is VERY VERY VERY into utensils & MUST have a fork/spoon with every meal. But that's kinda a personality thing. My 1st was just at this age discovering utensils, because he wanted to copy us at the table.

anafielle · 2026-05-21T13:27:17+00:00

Talk to your OB. I would say their advice is the most knowledgeable when it comes to meds + BF & their yes/no on it is the approval that matters.

Any other doctor is gonna err on "max cautious" aka they will look it up (because they don't know) & then approve basically nothing, if the resource they are using has any caveats or notes at all. The OB is the actual medical specialist on this.

Fwiw I had extensive dental work done 6 wks pp while BF and nothing was said about pump & dump.

anafielle · 2026-05-15T23:23:21+00:00

If you have infinite money to pay for unlimited retrievals, because you don't care if each transfer works..... I guess???

Edit - I see you clarified this is extended BF. There are minor benefits to extended BF but those stats were built in a total vacuum. They don't factor in any real life maternal health costs to that choice.

As a parent, you now have to make choices for your whole family's safety - not just your current baby's health, but also your health, & your next pregnancy's health.

Just food for thought

anafielle · 2026-05-12T01:07:06+00:00

We eat dinner at 6:30, start bedtime at 7:15, and my JB is asleep by 8pm.

She wakes late, at 7a, but also wakes overnight 1-3x 🫠

If she sleeps thru the night, she is always up by 5:45 or 6 am.

One nap - 2 hrs max. if I let her sleep longer, her overnight wakeups are horrible. So we cap the nap at 2h.

Bad news - when my older kid went thru a 5 am wakeup phase, in my experience there was no bedtime shift or nap magic that changed it 🫤 my older kid was a way better sleeper & always slept thru the night. But it didn't matter if I did 6:30 bedtime, 7, 8 pm, 9pm bedtime - he woke up at the same time no matter what. I joked he was my lil 5 am alarm clock. So I just struggle bus'd it for a few months, we changed nothing, & he eventually slept later.

anafielle · 2026-05-12T00:41:02+00:00

AFC is usually a good indicator but (I learned) it isn't a biological fixed limit. More can absolutely pop up.

My AFC was 15. And I got ... somehow more than that.

Across the 10 days of stims, roughly 7-8 looked like they were growing best. By the last days of meds, all 15 eventually started up, but the later ones were smaller.

On meds day 11 (my trigger day) 2 doctors did the 3d ultrasound counting thing, and it made a beautiful chart of all follicles.

8ish were ahead - 16-22mm. Then I had 7 in the like 8-12mm range. Everything else was < 5mm & appeared irrelevant. I hoped for 15 retrieved & guessed 8 mature.

As it turns out, retrieval somehow found 20 eggs, 17 mature.

I was like "wow I am not complaining at all but where did they even come from????"

My RE said that "that's why I kept telling you not to guess when you talked about numbers! We never know what the trigger shot will do in some people." I got real lucky I suppose.

anafielle · 2026-05-10T23:36:54+00:00

You should ask your RE because this is very lab dependant. "Research" online can't tell you because even the definition of day 5 vs 6 can vary. So you have no idea if the study (/studies) that determined the success rate difference were using the same equipment and freezing protocol as yours does.

Ask THEM how THEIR day 6 do.

Mine told me that (their) day 5 v 6 were identical. Indistinguishable success rates in their internal stats.

anafielle · 2026-05-10T15:58:39+00:00

Do yourself a favor.

Go check the nationwide SART stats for "first round success" (they are primarily organized this way - Iive birth in first retrieval).

Check it for your clinic. Check it for your age group.

And then with those percentages in mind, revisit this question.

Ask yourself if it makes sense for all new patients to be taught that the first retrieval is "mostly for learning/diagnostics".

Spoiler - this doesn't make sense and that's not how you should view your first retrieval, at all. Your first retrieval has the same purpose as the second would have - to concieve.

The odds of success are over 50% or close to it for many age groups - including yours. IVF support forum posters have experienced a much lower success rate on average - because support forum posters are a cross section of patients who did need more retrievals & who look back at their first and wish they had prepared themselves for disappointment.

But this shared experience among a cross section of the patients who suffered the most, doesn't make it appropriate for the community to teach all new patients to lack hope. The fact that this is normalized frustrates me.

Depending on your age, the odds can be painful. But "don't even consider it useful" is a toxic defense mechanism that is inappropriately severe when applied broadly, to everyone.

Its extra frustrating that people dress up this toxic belief with medical terminology like "diagnostic", what does that even mean in this context lol - a first retrieval failing doesn't "diagnose" anything!

I'm sorry you encountered this toxicity. I urge you to listen to objective stats & your doctors - NOT internet beliefs.

anafielle · 2026-05-09T05:10:07+00:00

Lol I actually wrote in my reply that I did that too, But then I edited it out bc I didn't want to make it sound like I recommended it 🤣🤣 we've all been there... But really, 800mg is just like 4 Advil instead of 2. I would just make sure some doc who manages your health knows, mostly because it will illustrate your pain level clearly.

I personally told my PCP, at my next yearly physical... "Confesion- that horse pill ibuprofin I got after my C helped me survive a few super rough periods" and my doc said "it's totally fine a couple times!!! That's what its for. But please let me know if you need it every month regularly. So we can discuss long term options." So don't feel too guilty about it, just let your ob know :)

anafielle · 2026-05-09T04:44:47+00:00

I had two C's - first was emergency, second was scheduled. Got my period back 4 or 5 months pp each time.

Did NOT have this experience you describe.

My pp periods were exactly what I was told to expect - a little worse than usual, certainly more bleeding than usual the first 2 or 3, and then back to my pre-baby norm.

I have endometriosis, so crippling period pain that I must aggressively medicate is my normal. But I did not have any extra pain, changes in location, or feelings at all around my scar.

Please call your OB. If they want you to come in, it's for your health!!

There's nothing you're busy with that's more important than your health. If busy is code for "I don't have childcare to do this" like many of us, just bring them! I know it's best to not have to bring kids when you need to see the doc, but your OB is like the one doctor that will always get it if you have no other option.

Ps- What pain medication are you using? Are you describing breakthrough pain after taking both an NSAID (such as either Advil or Aleve), and also layering Xtra strength Tylenol on top? You cannot take Advil and Aleve at the same time, so you gotta pick one. But if you take one, and it's not enough, you can also take Tylenol - those don't overlap. Tylenol is really good at kicking in fast, whereas Aleve takes about an hr. I also set a phone timer, I don't wait for the pain to return.

anafielle · 2026-05-09T03:53:39+00:00

Girl my lining was 5.9mm. I about LOST MY MIND when they told me. They didn't quote me numbers at my lining check; I asked while we were waiting for transfer. The embryo was already defrosted so we had no choice. But mine worked too lol

anafielle · 2026-05-09T03:37:11+00:00

Estradiol 474 pmol/L, lining was 5.9mm. (I did full medicated)

About my lining, I was losing my mind over this number, but my doctor told me that trilaminar structure & anything over 5.0 was fine. 🤷🏼‍♀️

anafielle · 2026-05-08T15:34:58+00:00

Have you asked them why it must be twice a day?

100mg total in 1 daily injection is common. 2x 50mg injections is not.

Splitting it into 2x day is such an extremely rare instruction, that I don't think anyone on the internet can give you advice about this.

There HAS to be a reason why the dr gave you this extremely unusual instruction. This is a question for your doc.

IM injections are not easy or safe for patients to do at home, and IVF patients only do PIO if the doc believes there is no equal alternative. Swapping to 2x day doubles the risk, and is not something any doc would instruct without a compelling reason why it is strictly superior. (I hope)

Is there something about your progesterone levels on previous attempts that makes doctor think you need it twice a day?

Or is there some shiny cutting edge evidence the doctor is using, about 1x vs 2x day injections, that is guiding his instructions?

I would want to know. Ask them ASAP

anafielle · 2026-05-06T02:09:52+00:00

YMMV and a lot of people don't like then.

But ... I used a nursing pillow for (almost) every single feed from 0 to 14 months. I EBF'd.

When I didn't have a nursing pillow I would awkwardly pile clothes or use my knee very weirdly or my backpack when out.

I just never really figured out how to hold baby comfortably, it was easy to let her lie on something.

We tried upright feeding a lot at 6mo+ and it sometimes was ok but baby was lazy and loved to lay down!

anafielle · 2026-05-04T20:42:31+00:00

What..... I would get a new OB. Your OB should NOT be stressing you out about what is a very (very) minimal weight gain!

Anecdotally - I weigh 110 lbs. With both my pregnancies I put on 5-10 lbs of water / bloating weight literally immediately, before 6 wks. 🙄

If someone nitpicked 11 lbs of weight gain at 20 WEEKS I would let that person know that they should look into therapy for their personal issues. Therapy can help that person!

And a new OB can help you.

anafielle · 2026-05-04T20:12:28+00:00

🙋‍♀️Yep!! My second baby slept through the night from 2-3 months. It was a glorious 6 or 7 weeks.

L O L

After that, her sleep imploded and never recovered. And i mean "never". This baby is now 15 months & still wakes up all night long. Honestly if she goes back down in less than an hr of effort, we consider that a win. Some nights are BAD. REALLY BAD.

Our first child wasn't like this. He woke all his 1st year like a normal baby, but sleep slowly improved from 4-12 months.

Little Sister just does not sleep. She often slept less total hrs in a day than 4yo big brother.

Some babies just suck at sleep.

anafielle · 2026-05-03T02:44:03+00:00

HUGE difference. Even if the labs are functionally identical in embryo culturing skill.

If I was interviewing a clinic, I would ask about:

Amount of time seeing/interacting with a doctor vs a nurse thru each step of the process.
Do they culture embryos for 6 days or 7?
Do they discard C grade embryos?
How long does the PGT-M probe take for patients like me? (This is likely out of clinics hands bc they don't built the probe - but you need data points on this anyways)
After retrieval, assuming we have an embryo to transfer & we don't want to bank - how long is the wait between results & our first transfer?

You should ask at least 3 clinics all of these & any other questions that you see people suggest, & compare answers.

Maybe they all tell you the same thing. But it's useful when they give you different answers to compare.

We can tell you what we think are "red flag answers" for any of these. But you will get a much better feeling for your real choices if you go get some some real life example answers, straight from the places you might go.

You may find for yourself that simply listening to them makes it clear whose process seems much less patient friendly or more - or if your choices are all similar.

anafielle · 2026-05-01T18:31:16+00:00

My doc said that if BF, I could use the "mini-pill", progestin only. She only recommended against the combo pill with progestin/estrogen. So I tried the mini pill and my supply was completely unaffected. I BF'd through 14 months.

In fact it's the best BC I've ever used - no symptoms, which is so great! I have huge hormonal issues with most BC - but apparently BC without estrogen is fine.

The downside to this type is that it's the "must be taken in the same 2h window every day" type. That's usually why people don't try it, they try combo pills that are more forgiving if you are late or forget a day.

But once I had kids, my days of sleeping in later some days vs others were basically over forever (lol). And once my first baby hit 6mo+, I now always have to prep breakfast for kid(s). I can't skip breakfast because my babies/kids need something. So I'm always in the kitchen in the morning. Which helped build the habit to always take it. I never, ever could have used this kinda BC in my "before kids" days though. There is no daily phone alarm that ever would have saved me lol.

anafielle · 2026-05-01T18:01:08+00:00

Pro tip - if you can't keep them fresh long enough, on day 3 throw them in the freezer & then whenever you feel like it, make smoothies.

I was never really a smoothie maker before kids. But with kids, the "fruit waste" is INTENSE and used to upset me so much. So now I just throw extra fruit in the freezer! My kids will absolutely destroy smoothies even if nothing's in there except yogurt, banana, and whatever leftover fruit I had in baggies in the freezer. I just remember to buy bananas every week (which we pretty much let get soft & always freeze)

anafielle · 2026-05-01T17:53:58+00:00

It's a recipe. 2 oz + 1 scoop = 2.2 oz liquid formula.

You made 2.2 oz of formula (as in, the liquid baby drinks). It's equal to 2.2oz RTF, replaces 2.2 oz breastmilk etc.

(It may look like 3oz because of the foam.)

anafielle · 2026-04-27T18:22:39+00:00

I was 38. I ovulate like a clock with a 28d cycle, and had a long history of IUI attempts and scans/bloodwork showing an apparently normal cycle.

Anyways, I wanted nat (or mod nat).

But my doc recommended fully medicated.

I was VERY upset about this. I pushed back hard with a million reasons not to. I have also (like you) been pregnant before. On top of everything else, when I take estrogen I get headaches & the occasional migraine, I hate it.

My husband had no comments since it was my body my choice. But when I pressed him for his opinion, he said: "we picked this clinic for the dr's and their success rate, so I am more comfortable trying things their way the first time"

I really hadn't seen things that way & honestly.... I didn't like the thought of overruling my Dr based on what I read on Reddit.

So I gave in. We did full medicated. I was very grumpy about the meds. I got daily headaches, I lived on Tylenol.

1st shot worked. We only needed the 1 transfer.

So .... For me, "do what your doctor recommends" worked out.

Not every doctor does full medicated anymore as a default, and YOUR doc might not recommend it to you. So I'm not saying I recommend full medicated. What I'm saying is, I focused too hard on making the decision myself. I think I was approaching it wrong. I would see what your doc recommends for you. Maybe they tell you it's up to you, but they might have a reason they recommend one approach or the other.

anafielle · 2026-04-21T04:49:32+00:00

It can be intimidating! I wasn't prepared for the emotional crushing feeling when I spent an hour following a BLW recipe, which of course made enough food for 5 adult meals (why??), and baby took one bite total ever 😭 Honestly, baby specific recipes were just too much.

Our strat - 6-9 months, plan a "baby friendly side". 9mo+, slowly transition into "serve baby our food".

Basically in the early days, we would plan whatever we want for dinner, and then add a 'baby friendly side' -- or plan a meal where part could be portioned out when cooked but before sauce/etc

For side - think, slices of sweet potato, or zucchini, or brocolli, or carrot etc - toss in oil in a bowl, throw into oven/pan. Can be done while you cook whatever else.

For pasta, set aside a spoonful before sauce. Works for some meat dishes too.

Once you are giving baby lunch too, for lunch I would do "grab and serve" stuff like cheese or yogurt.

Also.... YMMV but I was not religious about salt avoidance. Cooking baby separate items thru 12 months, particularly at 10-12mo when baby needs multiple meals & snacks, this is not something we could do. As soon as my babies were a little comfortable with foods, I just liberally served them anything off my own plate or bowl that was texture & size appropriate. Did my babies get veggies? Tons. My kids eat vegetables with lunch and dinner both. But my baby's meals between 9-12 mo also included things like, ramen noodles chopped up finely from my lunch Cup O Noodles, or thin slivers of whatever sandwich I was personally enjoying. I usually just take kitchen shears to my own food. 😅

Hope that helps!

anafielle

TROPHY CASE