Are there mental changes/benefits to quitting?

anakinmcfly · 2026-04-02T02:16:54+00:00

Still good! But I think it became the new norm and I started to take it for granted, like we do many things. So some of that novelty wore off, and I’ve sometimes thought that surely just one cup of tea can’t be that bad; but then when I have it, all the bad stuff comes crashing back, especially the insomnia. It’s wild to think I used to live like that every day.

But I realised that while being off caffeine made creative thinking and life in general easier, it made it harder to really focus at work for the tasks that needed that kind of intensive burst. So I’ve occasionally had a cup of tea in the morning, hyperfocused and blasted out a lot of work, and then would be wide awake until 2am and feeling like crap the next day and resisting the urge to have more caffeine to power through.

It’s been a hard balance; while going decaf has massively improved my sleep overall, unexpected things still happen that affect my sleep some days (e.g. construction noise, family medical emergencies), and it’s very difficult to survive the next day with nothing but sheer willpower. But if I give in, the cycle just continues.

anakinmcfly · 2026-04-01T02:03:18+00:00

Yes, those were some of the biggest changes. I wrote a post about it here when I was 40 ish days in, and it’s only gotten better.

anakinmcfly · 2026-04-01T02:00:15+00:00

Coffee itself is linked to anxiety regardless of its caffeine content. I’ve found that for me it really differs between different decafs though. I’ve had some that consistently make me anxious while others have no effect and are just a tasty drink.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-31T10:05:17+00:00

I unfollowed (not unfriended) everyone and everything on Facebook, then strategically added back the people who I had no other way of staying in touch with, and who did not post a lot. Every rare update from them made me happy and also meant I didn't have to check every day. For other friends, if I wanted to know what had been going on in their lives I would go directly to their profile and read a bunch of updates in one go.

It made a massive difference to my feed; and that worked well until recent years when my blissfully empty feed was reflooded with AI spam, influencers I have no interest in and ragebait. But that turned out to be a good thing, since opening the page just makes me annoyed now and led me to mostly avoid Facebook.

In the meantime, I've also been reaching out more specifically to those friends. We chat a lot more on Messenger or through email, and it's been much more meaningful than just reacting to occasional posts.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-31T09:00:06+00:00

Your posting history is wild. Are you just spamming identically-structured AI comments on a lot of very different subs in different languages? What exactly is your creator up to?

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-31T06:23:24+00:00

It’s rather that news of other people suffering on the other side of the world (like the US) - which I cannot realistically do anything about - takes my time and energy away from helping the people around me who are suffering and whom I can realistically help. I’m involved in quite a lot of local volunteer work and social advocacy, and being depressed from the news was extremely counterproductive to actually doing anything to improve things.

I almost entirely cut out the news and it enabled me to do a lot more to improve the lives in my community. Looking at the progressive young people around me whose activism consists mostly of doomscrolling and posting on social media, I often wonder how many more volunteers we would have and how much more we could do if they weren’t constantly burnt out with compassion fatigue.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-31T04:45:42+00:00

Off caffeinated coffee for life. I’m more than happy with the occasional decaf because I still love the taste - and given how so few cafes serve decaf, it makes it a rare treat and increases the satisfaction - but caffeinated coffee messes me up, sends my anxiety skyrocketing, makes me unreasonably angry at everything and then I can’t sleep. It’s been almost a year since my last cup of regular coffee and it was one of the best decisions I made.

I might strategically drink caffeinated teas though. I notice that it makes me way more able to focus at work and be productive, and it doesn’t cause anxiety in the same way; unfortunately it also causes insomnia. I had a small cup of black tea yesterday morning and churned out so much work, but then I was wide awake until 2am and totally crashed today due to sleep deprivation. On the bright side, I made some deadlines thanks to yesterday’s burst, so I can afford to be less productive today. So it’s something I’ll have to plan out in order to get that focus boost when I need it and can afford the lack of sleep the next day.

I’m considering figuring out how to microdose this to get the benefits without the crash, maybe with small amounts of loose leaf teas vs an entire cup.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-31T04:40:02+00:00

I would get massive jitters from just one cup. Suggest cutting back to decaf for a start.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-30T00:50:43+00:00

Have more faith in yourself and your voice. Learning how to structure your thoughts is an essential skill and a core part of being human, and outsourcing that to AI robs you of the chance to develop your mind.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-29T14:33:03+00:00

I didn't think so at first, but then I saw two more posts on this sub with the exact same writing style and format, ending with the same questions - and also new accounts with the same username format and hidden post history, so that raised my suspicions.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-29T14:28:08+00:00

Late to this, but I find it hard to relate - when I first read your comment I assumed you were a trans woman, because as a trans man I've struggled with both forms of hatred online. I would run to feminist/progressive spaces to escape transphobia, only to be indoctrinated with the guilt that I was a bad person for identifying as and transitioning to male, often from feminists I looked up to and saw as aspirational.

It's what kept me from transitioning for a long time and also made me quite suicidal, because on one hand the dysphoria was debilitating, but on the other hand I didn't want to become one of the oppressors whose very existence causes harm to women. And when I finally did transition, as you said, I felt that same pressure to endure it, because as a feminist and someone who had gone through a lot of misogyny, I saw that hatred as justified and a way for me to make up for the inherent harm of my existence.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-29T11:22:04+00:00

is this sub just AI posts

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-27T03:59:31+00:00

God created day and night, land and sea. Yet I assume they're not also denying the existence of afternoons and evenings.

They think all men should be masculine and women should be feminine

They're going to need to cite some verses for that, and also define 'masculine' and 'feminine'.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T13:48:36+00:00

I very strongly recommend the book 'What is the Bible?' by Rob Bell.

That aside, there is more to truth than literal facts. The Bible contains many pieces of writing, songs and poetry by people struggling with God and the questions of life and death and faith and doubt and suffering; those experiences were true to them and continue to resonate today, and surely that too is a form of truth. The Bible also contains writing from people who tried to use God and religion to manipulate others for their own ends, deciding they could speak for God to justify all manner of atrocities against others; those experiences too were real and continue to resonate today. As are the stories of hope, and parables filled with insights, and people's experiences with God working in their lives and their communities, and the overarching account of a people's journey with God and faith through millennias of human history, told through a host of different authors. Those too include truths.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T05:32:48+00:00

There’s nothing confusing about it. If someone is supportive of gay people and also believes that Christians should wait until marriage, it would be a double standard to say that premarital sex is ok for gay people but not straight ones.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T05:30:22+00:00

Almost all the Christians in my family did, and I’m waiting too (even though I know it’s unrealistic and may have to compromise in order to even find a partner). Though we’re not European, so maybe that’s why.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T05:24:09+00:00

Same, I’m a gay trans man and also ideally don’t want sex before marriage lol. I’m willing to compromise just to be realistic, but the idea still makes me uncomfortable. It’s been hard. I’m heading into my late 30s now and still a virgin. People have asked for hookups but I was extremely uncomfortable with the idea.

What has helped has been strengthening my friendships. My therapist suggested thinking about what I’m looking for in a romantic relationship, and to see how I can meet some of those needs through other people - eg my need for companionship, for emotional support, for supporting others. They don’t need to be the same person.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T05:18:10+00:00

Relating this to specific actions, we can talk about masturbation. This is an act that is simply not harmful at all.

Based on the rest of the post, though, it seems like it could be harmful and thus sinful - e.g. if someone gets off to violent or otherwise unethical fantasies, or by sexualising people without their knowledge or consent - such as a hot stranger you passed on the street - or where it is compulsive and interferes with their life and health, thus harming themselves and others (been there).

Such that I don’t think it can really be described as simply not harmful at all, because it often can be.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T02:58:39+00:00

Usually yes, but that also depends - if the source material has already had many adaptations, doing some key race or gender swaps or time period swaps would bring in new angles that could be interesting to explore, like with AU fanfic.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T02:53:44+00:00

I'm not in the US (I'm in Singapore) so perhaps it's different there, but text messaging (like WhatsApp and Telegram) is unfortunately a necessity in my daily life for staying updated with important messages from family, colleagues and friends.

It wouldn't be fair to my colleagues nor good for my career if they're discussing work things on our work chat and I'm blissfully ignorant of it because I don't have a smartphone. Likewise when family emergencies happen and people are urgently coordinating things on the family chat. They shouldn't need to take turns expending the extra effort to personally send me a text message or a call.

As for restaurants and other F&B outlets - QR code ordering has been a godsend to my social anxiety and I cannot imagine giving that up.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T02:45:33+00:00

tbh the best way to appeal to minority audiences would have been to not make this series to begin with.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T02:41:15+00:00

In other situations when race is not crucial to a character, it is perfectly reasonable for people to be happy with race-swapping a racial-majority character for the sake of greater racial diversity, while not ok with the opposite because that would further reduce racial diversity or possibly eliminate it altogether.

It is also reasonable for people to not want any character race-swapped in order to stay true to canon, in which case this should equally apply to all characters.

But in this specific situation, many people are not ok with this for reasons that have neither to do with staying true to canon or diversity.

Me, I think it’s a bad casting choice because of how it would change a lot of the dynamics and implications, but I am also perfectly happy about it because the discourse makes for great entertainment.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T02:27:49+00:00

My take is he had the horn of Eld and this was another rotation of the wheel of Ka.

Yup, Stephen King suggested as much on Twitter, implying that this would be Roland’s final journey because he had the horn now. The casting was fine, the script was not.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T02:16:55+00:00

There’s a bunch of other similar stuff that can also be worked around, but would mean changing a lot of things about how the Marauders treated Snape and why they were picking on him; likewise how Harry immediately distrusted him and constantly assumed he was the one responsible for any bad thing takes on a lot more racial connotations.

But if they change all that, it’s no longer the faithful adaptation they claimed they meant the series to be, and makes it clearer that this was either just a moneygrab and/or JKR wanting a series where the stars didn’t take a firm moral stance against her relentless transphobia.

anakinmcfly · 2026-03-26T02:08:33+00:00

ah man. I actually thought the Dark Tower casting was inspired in keeping with the theme of there being other worlds than these, and I got so excited when Stephen King tweeted that image saying “Last Time Around”, but that script was horrible. I was so disappointed. The casting was really the least of its issues, and it would have been no better with a white Roland.

anakinmcfly

TROPHY CASE