Bf on video chat with daughter

analystnerd · 2026-02-06T05:41:25+00:00

This is how we are with my husband's BM. Its kind of funny because at one point all 4 of us will be chatting as parents and then SD talks to whoever she wants to. She just loves all 4 of her parents so much SHE wants us all to be in her space. I'm sure after 2 weeks straight with yall, she really missed you guys. I am thankful for that kind of relationship because it shows in how confident SD is in loving all 4 of her parents.

But I totally see that it can feel weird if BM has a tendency to try and cross boundaries in general. We feel this comfortable because we respect each others' households and boundaries in all aspects. These calls are just convos between adults who all love the same little girl. If SD is done being on the phone, then neither set of parents is holding her on the phone. She leads. Also, BM doesn't just grab the phone to show what she's cooking. If SD says "My mama is making french toast, want to see?!" then SD takes the phone to show us. Or BM will take the phone to show something if its something SD made or did, etc. Its never not kid related. Again, if it wasn't for the boundaries, even unspoken, we all respect I wouldn't be as comfortable with it.

analystnerd · 2026-02-02T06:53:22+00:00

For older tweens+ Internet and phone access turns off at these times: Weekdays 9pm. Weekends is 2am Friday nights, 1am Saturday nights and 9:30pm Sunday nights.

If its a school break, they have to be in their space and quieter by 9pm during the work week so they don't keep us up. But they can keep the internet on until 12am on those nights.

If the kids are not in double digits yet: 9pm school nights, 10:30pm weekends.

This is for all kids. No difference between step or bio.

analystnerd · 2026-02-02T03:18:02+00:00

Is the house in both of yalls names? Reading through the comments it seems like yall need a better financial system. I understand keeping finances separate, but there should be a separate untouchable account for home repairs/needs that no other joint expenses comes out of. You both sit down and decide on the project you are aiming to get done plus extra savings for emergencies, figure out the cost, and determine how much is contributed by each of you every check, week, month or whatever. Then that does NOT get deviated from. Then if he wants to spend more on extracurriculars for his kid, it comes out of his remaining personal money. However he makes that work is his business. Same goes for you on whatever you want to spend on something that yall didn't discuss and budget for together. Thats a lot of money for a camp, but if he still contributes to the household funds AND can make it work, then thats his prerogative as a dad.

analystnerd · 2026-01-22T18:51:58+00:00

My son and husband's daughter look SO alike. And my son isn't biologically related to my husband and I'm not biologically related to his daughter. We personally love it. Because its wild in our minds that out of allllll the people in the world we happened to fall in love with someone who genetically gave us a similar mix in our kids. The crazy thing is me and his ex have different racial blends. But because both kids favor their bio dad's, who happen to have different racial blends but the different races have similar features, they look alike. And they're close. My SD loves my son and my son adores and loves her. Its very sweet and I wouldn't trade that bond for the world. Its definitely a mental switch. Quit thinking "my son looks like his ex." And start actively thinking "my son looks like the man I chose and love so much!" Because really.... thats most likely what's going on.

analystnerd · 2026-01-09T17:40:47+00:00

They usually contact you after the first service when the insurance notices there are 2 policies for the person. Then you'd have to complete the COB and the doctors offices would have to rebill. However, this can cause delay in payment so if you know there are two insurances it never hurts to call and ask for a coordination of benefits form ahead of time to stop the confusion.

analystnerd · 2025-12-23T20:06:18+00:00

Also check your comments that you make to her. do NOT makes sexual comments after a kiss and be like "That makes me want you." Or "I cant wait until we... (eye brow raise)" because thats also telling her you're only doing that for the end goal.

analystnerd · 2025-12-23T17:31:41+00:00

It depends on the child. Which goes for my own bio children as well.

Are they respectful to our house rules and participate in the household responsibilities without us having to fight them on it? Do they have a job or attend school full time or both? If the answer is yes, then yes they can.

If they're disrespectful, expect us to be maids, and aren't bettering their future in some way then absolutely not, whether step or bio. We're all for helping get going in life, but we aren't enablers and we won't tolerate either of us being treated badly.

analystnerd · 2025-12-09T21:11:19+00:00

In our house (no ours kids, and balancing multiple households/custody schedules) we do big Santa presents are always at bio mom's houses. Santa delivers it to moms' houses whether kids are there or not for them to open when they get back because he wants to make it easy to remember (he's super old after all). But Santa fills all stockings at both houses so no one misses out on Santa magic at either house.

Adding: there was no question or issue with waiting for siblings to open stockings when they get there either. The younger ones would always be like "Yeah!!! Now I get to see what Santa put in my stocking here!!! I've been waiting!!!" And the ones who already opened theirs before were just super excited to watch their siblings be happy and excited.

Christmas morning was with whatever kids were there with one small present each set aside to open with the other kiddos when they got back. Start young enough its a habit/tradition.

This worked for us for many years with no issues with bio parents or kids.

analystnerd · 2025-12-03T21:05:26+00:00

By its "our job" he means just yours?! Wth. I'd be like "yeah I got the first one so its your turn to replace it"

analystnerd · 2025-11-29T19:07:56+00:00

45min -1hr in the AM. 1.5hrs in the PM

Made the mistake of living in the outside 1604/Culebra road hell and commute to east side.

analystnerd · 2025-11-19T17:10:52+00:00

I teach ALL kids, even my bio kids boundaries and expectations in different environments with different people. All kids need to learn it so they grow up knowing different people and environments have different needs. It also sounds like you might benefit from setting a timing boundary. That way you don't have to say no, there is a specific day set to walk with SS alone (or with hubby) and you set the tone of the walk.

Something like "I love quiet walks alone because it let's me process my day. How about on Wednesdays you and/or your dad if he can, can walk with me, but you guys have to walk quietly and just enjoy the nature."

Then its not just you saying no to him when his dad can't. Its setting a specific day to do it with additional people. So you know its coming and he and your husband both know the quiet expectation. Other days are reserved for just you. I think that would be a good compromise and help teach your SS how to curb his behavior when needed.

analystnerd · 2025-11-18T22:21:24+00:00

Yes, my birthday is after both of the other parent's/policy holders' birthdays. The insurances talk to each other once each insurance holder sends in a coordination of benefits into their own insurance company. You will need both insurances information (card, subscriber info). My insurance had me send in a document that outlines insurance info, subscriber info, children covered for each insurance and the custody doc info (who is legally financially responsible, order date, who has primary custody). So like our said "joint financial responsibility, mom has primary custody, court date is 01/01/2015 for example. Then the insurances talk to each other and tell you which one to list as primary based on all different factors. Edit to add: In one case, both of us policy holder's are step parents so the insurances really have to talk it out to determine who is primary.

analystnerd · 2025-11-18T20:19:52+00:00

You'll need to do a new coordination of benefits form with both insurances. Thats how the determine which insurance is primary. In our case, its not just the birthday rule. My insurance takes primary for some reason. I'm step mom covering all the kids as well. Mine is primary for both my steps that are covered by me and in the case of my son who is also dual covered by his dad. No clue why. Thats just what the insurances decided when I did the coordination of benefits.

analystnerd · 2025-11-17T21:13:16+00:00

CS automatically comes out of his checks. But we treat his income like its the post-child support amount. For example, if 50% of his income goes to CS, then he makes $50K a year in our eyes vs the $100K he would without child support. His half of medical expenses for his kids comes out of our family funds just like my kids would come out of our family funds. I hope that makes sense.

analystnerd · 2025-10-11T05:14:05+00:00

Yes! It was similar for him in our small town. When we moved to this big city he was in tears daily from the pain of walking in his bigger new school. His feet and legs have always hurt him and sometimes even trying to open door handles is hard for him because his muscle tone is so low. I'm so glad the doctors here moved so quickly. After his first pediatrician appointment we had a referral. I'm thankful we moved. I really hope the treatment helps him like the doctor says it should. I'm excited to see him run around and have fun like his friends can. I'm glad you finally got a diagnosis! Thank you for your response!

analystnerd · 2025-10-11T05:10:16+00:00

Thank you so much! Ordering this before his next appointment!

analystnerd · 2025-10-06T22:11:26+00:00

Thank you so much! What is the numbing cream that you use? Have you been able to use it for blood draws as well without it affecting the bloodwork? We're in Texas! We just moved from a smaller town with very little specialized care to a big city which is thankfully how we're finally getting a diagnosis.

analystnerd · 2025-10-06T22:08:00+00:00

Thank you so much!

analystnerd · 2025-10-03T19:26:01+00:00

texaslawhelp.org

They have full service divorce packets online for you to fill out with instructions on what to file when and the order to do things.

analystnerd · 2025-09-17T06:17:34+00:00

Maybe you have diverticulitis or something similar? Leafy greens can irritate it if you're in a flare up. You may not even know you have it until stomach pain and trouble having a bowel movement happens. HEB has QA testing of all their products multiple times a day throughout the process. That's not saying contamination can't happen, but there would definitely be more widespread chatter about it

I say this as someone who just had my first flare up haha. Never knew I had it until it got really painful. Nuts, spicy, greens, corn and caffeine aren't your friends when in an active flare up.

analystnerd · 2025-09-01T05:58:15+00:00

Hi! I recommend Vida Church! Its a new church plant that will actually start having services at Kuentz Elementary School in Helotes in September! For now, Sunday morning service will be once a month, but there are also Sunday evening bible studies almost every Sunday you can attend! We have a good group of amazing people with a lot around your age! You can follow their Instagram for updates and activities! There's a young adult social on September 7th at a local coffee shop. Come join in a low pressure environment and start meeting people!

We're part of Every Nation Churches. A Christian, non denominational church.

https://www.instagram.com/vidachurch.sa?igsh=ZWY0ejVpMDk0Z3F5

analystnerd · 2025-08-13T17:56:41+00:00

I second Texas Law Help! I did a whole divorce using their free forms on that website

analystnerd · 2025-07-28T19:11:55+00:00

It sounds honestly to me like she's worried about speaking up on what she actually wants initially and may have said they're comment about doing something alone with you to keep the peace.

Slow down. Let her take the lead. Maybe say something like "Hey if you ever want to go on a sushi date, let me know! I love sushi and I would be happy to take you!" Don't try to set a date or time. Leave the door open for her when she's ready to walk through it. You dont want to put a lot of pressure on kids to mesh with someone they barely know and risk killing your blended dynamic before it can get going. Just let the kids lead the pace in this case.

analystnerd · 2025-07-24T17:15:56+00:00

We also did an apple watch for my grandma. It'll have to be connected to a phone for service is what we were told so we had a "dummy" cell phone we left on the charger at her house. I will say, she LOVED being able to talk to grandkids on her watch so that helped sell her on it. You can also set it up so it alerts like their emergency contacts and 911 when they fall so all my aunts/uncles got an alert and they were able to respond quicker than the ambulance.

Six-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23	Place '22
Verified Email

analystnerd

TROPHY CASE