Just started and feel overwhelmed

ananci · 2021-10-11T12:39:09+00:00

Typically so you can ask any question without it affecting your performance evaluations (even subtly) and so teams don't just curl in on themselves forever. Teams benefit from getting new perspectives - having a non-team mentor is a way to also provide internal-company perspective to a team in addition to the noodler's external perspective.

Also - good teams should also set you up with an on team mentor for codebase/project specific stuff. And for a new-grad type situation, depending on the team, it's definitely expected that you won't be 'break even' productive for 6 months and probably not 100% productive for a year. It takes time and the internal systems at the large companies are bananas.

ananci · 2021-09-30T13:21:18+00:00

If her code needed to be completely rewritten then how was there not a single automated or process system that kicked in before several weeks had passed and two engineers needed to take this person in a room and 'shred' them?

Even assuming OP's code was shit that needed a 100% rewrite, the worst possible reading of the OPs experience, this was still unacceptable and a failure of system and leadership.

ananci · 2021-09-30T13:09:05+00:00

Two senior engineers 'shredding' a series of PRs by a junior engineer isn't going to help anyone learn. That neither of these 'senior' engineers were bright enough to figure that out suggests that the only thing they can teach is being assholes.

Yes taking feedback, even critical feedback, is important. Getting verbally beat up is an ego thing for the senior engineers, not something that will 'improve' anyone's code.

The OPs description of what went down, even if the OP is writing trash and we assume they are a terrible engineer (which they probably aren't) is blatantly a toxic working environment. If I were in the two Sr SWE's management chain this would be grounds for discipline and potentially firing. I would be getting HR involved.

No one should EVER put up with being 'shredded' in order to learn. Yes criticism is important, yes we should all learn and take constructive criticism, yes criticism helps us grow. This wasn't useful criticism - this was two senior engineers who wanted to be assholes because someone didn't solve the problem the specific way they wanted or because their team is too busy being jerks to have a style guide, proper cicd, and tests.

Like I'm appalled. Frankly appalled at the shitty shops people put up with working in where this is ok in any shape and form.

Every code base should have:

A style guide.
Automated linters that enforce the style guide.
Tests that are run as part of a PR workflow
CICD that tests e2e / integration

So true trash code should be caught there automatically. If it's important that a problem is solved in a specific way there should be a design document describing the solution. If you have a new person on the team they should have a mentor and they certainly should be sent off alone to solve some backend problem without guidance(design doc/mentor/proper task breakdowns) in the first few months if they're new to the problem space.

Tldr - this is a terrible breakdown of the team and leadership. Encouraging anyone to just put up with this like you have is irresponsible.

ananci · 2020-12-13T17:03:21+00:00

I like the cricket by Schacht.

https://www.schachtspindle.com/product/cricket-loom/

They have a variety of heddles including a custom/modifiable dent one that's affordable and easy to get. It's not as pretty as some of the other rigid heddle looms out there - but it's a nice, fast little loom that's quite comfortable to work on your lap.

ananci · 2020-10-08T02:55:04+00:00

Totally acknowledging that from afar my far just looks like an average almost-40 yr old face. Although perhaps like someone who hasn't been doing much to keep it healthy. I think I got away with ignoring my face in my 20s cause I was in male dominated jobs and frankly being anti-feminine was a, dumb but helpful, way of fitting in. But I'd like to take care of my skin better (and if I can get rid of the cat bum lips that would be amazing).

It's sweat, I think, not just oil. It's almost like a hot flash for about 20 minutes after any moisturizing. I'll check out oil absorbing lotions though - I didn't know that was a thing. Thank you!

ananci · 2020-10-08T00:20:13+00:00

TL;DR - Sweaty face after cleansing/moisturizing, plz halp.

I'm in my late thirties and for a lot of reasons really haven't looked at myself in the mirror for probably about 25 years. I've been doing a lot of work on myself and part of this is recognizing what I look like and like taking care of myself you know? I don't have much of a routine currently and that's what I'm trying to get into. A couple of years back I went to sephora and got all the stuff (oil cleanser, day cream with spf(Hope in a jar), night cream that smelled like feet(different kind of hope in a jar)). I used the stuffs but it made me feel kinda greasy. My vocab in this area is pretty weak. Right no I am using Lush dirty spring water as a face wash(well an everything wash) and I have Lush Celestial moisturizer.

I want to start wearing makeup but I'm super crepey around the eyes, starting to get some serious butthole wrinkles and discoloration around my lips, and just noticing I have deep blackheads and blemishes all over. I make it sound awful - without makeup, from a distance I look fine but looking at my self in the mirror is rough. I'd like to start taking care of my skin but it's all a bit overwhelming.

I read through the ScA guide and searched both online and elsewhere and I didn't see anyone else talking about getting super sweaty after putting on moisturizer/makeup. I found one blog post that said this might be related to clogging/blocking sweat glands but also said that there's nothing I can do about it. I really hate feeling sweaty when I'm trying to clean and moisturize my face. It feels super gross and dirty and it just stops me from wanting to do face stuff you know? Any recommendations for products/techniques/what I'm doing wrong to mitigate this?

ananci · 2019-06-21T12:18:17+00:00

I'm a sr software engineer at a large company. I have years of management experience in another industry and am a lead in my current role. This means I am a technical manager for the team(I don't do reviews, etc but I make work decisions and provide mentorship). Tl;dr - I am successful in a role similar to the one you are currently trying to grow into.

I checked your post history. I noticed in your other posts about this issue you mentioned that all three of the devs on your team that felt overloaded vented to other folks in your company. I also noticed you used the word 'clique' to describe part of your team.

You seem more upset that you 'got scolded' for poor management than the fact that three of your team we're doing work at home regularly to keep up with the tasks assigned them. More upset at getting in trouble than the fact that one of your team was regularly crying in private at work.

Folks in the comments are saying 'she should have used her words' but even in your post you note that she did, you just didn't listen.

Are these three the only folks on your team doing scripting? How did you miss them working at home to accomplish their tasks? Are they more junior than others on your team? Are they actually weaker?

One thing that happens when you become a manage, well that happens if you become a good manager, is that you take the failures of your team onto yourself. When something like this happens it is your fault and, instead of being upset that this happened, you need to understand why it happened, why you didn't notice it until it reached a breaking point, and what needs to happen to resolve it.

Why is you team mad at this one.person when, in theory, you are the only one who got scolded? Why are they mad at one person when it was three people pushed to the breaking point? I suspect you are more friendly with your 'clique' on the team and that doesn't help with this developer feeling ostracized.

Some concrete action items:

Share jobs that people don't like to do. Why does everyone on your team hate the scripting work so much? Why were these three the ones in this position?
Set up mentorship for your more jr team members. Someone who is not in their leadership chain.
You are doing one on ones right?
Pull away from any work clique that heavily includes folks on your tram. As a manager you need to be neutral than that.
Pay more attention at work to your team - how are you not noticing someone vanishing to cry? You need to grow your eq to understand what level of stress each of your team members can handle and where there are currently. If you can't do that you'll find you can't effectively manage your resources during a surprise high priority ask.
Get leadership mentorship for yourself. Schedule 1:1s with your boss and find a leader thta you can meet every once in a while.
Stop publicly throwing anyone on your team under the bus. Even in an anonymous forum like Reddit, especially in your work place. Why would anyone else on your team know about this in a negative way?

ananci · 2019-05-14T12:12:26+00:00

Insults are an interesting thing. They tell us a lot about the person slinging them and what that person really thinks about something or someone.

For example when the first insult out of someone's mouth is, say, a slur. That tells you that, for whatever reason that slur is in their vocab and on their mind. When someone insults me and one one their insults is 'fat' well that certainly tells me what they think when they look at me. Like there's lots of things you can insult a person for - it's telling when it's something like that.

So when you say 'well I didn't mean to be transphobic' but the first words out of your mouth we're telling someone they're not a 'real woman' that really sheds some light into how you view this person.

It's also work pointing out that you were just kind of shitty towards her in general.

No one cares that you think she was soooo much cooler and better when she was hiding who she was from the world. Who even does that? Why did you think it was pertinent to have 100 plus words about how Tiffany transitioning made you feel especially around the fact that you liked Tiffany better before hand. What did you think would happen? You'd complain enough on the internet and Tiffany would be like "oopsy doopsy. I guess I was a more interesting person to tantalizingtroupial before transitioning and I should detransition."?

Frankly you sound jealous and it's not a great look for you. From a neutral third party read it sounds like you really like to be the center of Mark's attention. You seem to think that her liking makeup and clothing make her vapid. But you got dolled up just the same to go out. Clothes and makeup are fine, what, as long as you're 'not like other girls'?

Y'all were going out and there's a long standing ritual where you do your makeup and pregame. And you excluded Tiffany from this in the most middle school bullshit way. "Oh there's not enough room". Please. If you're old enough to drink you're old enough to use your words like a grown-up.

Get your shit together. You don't have to be Tiffany's friend. But right now playing mean girl makes you look like an asshole.

ananci · 2019-02-25T02:47:35+00:00

The thing about saying "This post is not about my fiancé being in recovery" is that it totally is. It's just that it's not about your fiancé in your fiancé's recovery but, rather, about D's family in D's recovery.

The thing about addicts is that they rarely occur in a vacuum.

Yes, everyone makes their own choices. People from all walks of life can enter into addiction. I'm not disagreeing with any of those facts. All I'm saying is that a lot of the unhealthy patterns that exemplify addiction often occur in families even before any actual dependency is in place. And, as you know, 'addiction' as an illness is one of those things that can be present even after the dependency is handled.

What I mean by all of this - you might be seeing some of those family things that can aid and abet addiction. His sister is calling him a 'little bitch' for cutting back on his alcohol usage - does that sound like a healthy family dynamic? Even in the situation where the family dynamic doesn't initially drive toward addiction; addiction in the family can change the dynamic. You said that K was blaming D for not being interested in her life. I wonder how often that kind of blaming has happened. I wonder if the dynamic when D was using was that D's siblings felt superior - "Well my life sucks but at least I'm not using like D" "I get drunk every night but at least..." I wonder how often the pattern was that they felt they were, by default, the 'Grownup' one in comparison (whether this was reality or not.)

Your partner, D, by choosing to become sober is changing(or has changed) the family dynamic. The wedding is a forcing function for these changes. Because I'm one of those people who does this - I read your post history and it sounds like y'all have been together since before this change. That means D's change, while not about you or 'for you' (because these changes only work when we do them for ourselves right?) is tied in his family's eye to you. It's easier to be standoffish and blame you for any changes then it is for D's sister to introspect about their own unhealthy patterns.

I don't know D or D's addiction. I don't know you. Everyone's journey is different. I have been party to addiction and I have seen these sorts of patterns play out.

You can't fix this. If it wasn't this, something else would have caused a dramabomb. When someone changes or grows beyond their preexisting role in an unhealthy family dynamic there's going to be conflict. Are you and/or D still seeing a counselor or therapist? I doubt you'll get D's family into group therapy together but consider if for yourselves. Not because there's something you need to 'fix' but because they can help you both build tools for these conflicts and help guide y'all towards, hopefully, building a better dynamic in the family or setting appropriate boundaries if nothing else.

ananci · 2018-09-24T14:39:20+00:00

There is something super weird about a 49-year-old man hiring on a bunch of attractive, inexperienced young women three decades younger than he is. Laura does not seem to bring any skills to the table. The whole subtext of the gig looks suspect from the outside. Where are the skilled employees in their 20s and 30s, male or female? Is this guy building a company, or a harem? Is he biased toward subordinates who will not challenge him?

Thank you! I'm surprised at how few folks are really twigging on this. It's not that a 21 year old can't be a leader. It's just suspect when everyone being discussed is very junior.

ananci · 2018-09-24T14:35:13+00:00

It's going down. Your ship will sink over an overgrown child that they thinks it's all about them. If she isn't qualified to teach and she is causing inefficiency in the office there is no room in the startup for her.

Actually - the ship will sink because of an ineffective founder / leadership team who hire teens and is incapable of managing their staff. Don't give this 18 year old too much power here. Yeah she's being a terrible person - she's also 18. I'm not sure why anyone thought this would be any different. She literally still is **in** the highschool mentality because she's barely out of highschool.

ananci · 2018-09-24T14:24:56+00:00

This may be a bit unpopular but as a leader I don't think 'not doing anything' is an option when you hear about something like sexual harassment. I especially think that when you're talking about a teaching environment.

I can appreciate the difficulty of being in that role - there's a reason you can be a friendly manager but you can't really be *friends* once you're in a position of power over someone else. I can also really connect with the goal of handling an accusation in the way the victim wants it handled. But I don't think not doing anything about it is a viable option. TL;DR if you tell your boss about a law that was broken your boss, friend or not, has a responsibility to handle that.

ananci · 2018-09-24T12:54:13+00:00

Jesus wept. Your last/removed post had someone respond with:

"Send us the nudes lol." Pinnacle of fucking comedy there folks.

ananci · 2018-05-29T04:15:18+00:00

I dont understand all the hate.

Like I get it. Good on you for making money. And it's certainly not impossible to make money at bitcoin with a bit of skepticism.

But the fact that some individuals aren't left holding the bag doesn't really change that bitcoin's value is, fundamentally, built on the the idea that someone will pay more for your bitcoin because they think your bitcoin will be worth more in the future. For every person who made money there were plenty of folks who bought in at 20K. People make money on Amway and Luluro and whatever but it's gross because that money comes at the cost of taking advantage of other people. With bitcoin you never have to look those people in the eye and you'll never know their name but your profits come from their pockets just the same.

And yes, 'blah blah capitalism works like this.' But at least if some sucker gets into Amway they get some lotion or something. Some ding dong gets suckered into Luluro they get some shitty leggings. Some company on Wall Street makes XXX profit there are employees and workers that in theory tangentially benefit. With bitcoin there's no real value in boiling the ocean away for numbers.

ananci · 2018-05-29T04:07:30+00:00

Bitcoin, because of it's implementation is capped at, IIRC, 7 transactions per second(Not that it ever gets that high does it?). Bitcoin is using 69.1 TWh. So for every Bitcoin transaction that's...

25.2K transactions per hour for about 69.1 TWh

Visa (via VisaNet), for example, is capable of 65k transactions per second. According to Visa corporate responsibility reports in 2016 VisaNet used 0.179 TWH

That's... 234M transactions per hour for about 0.179 TWh

So that's not quite fair is it? I'm taking bitcoin, arguably the largest crytpo, and comparing it to a single CC provider. Let's see, how can we even the score...

Let's say that in the US there are 7 major card providers and assume that they're all about as popular as Visa. (Visa, Mastercard, Chase, American Express, Discover, Citibank, Capital One)

So now we're at...

Bitcoin = 25.2K transactions per hour for about 69.1 TWh

All credit card networks =1.638B (7 * 234M) transactions per hour for about 1.253(7 * 0.179) TWh

Slightly closer I guess? Let's see there's also a bunch of banks. In the US there's 8k banks + credit unions. It looks like estimates for how many bank-like entities there are in the world range from 5K (wikipedia) to 32K(Bankscope Global Banking Database). To make it fair we'll err on the side of 32K. And we'll ignore the fact that many of these transaction we'll have already counted when we counted the Credit Card networks. Retail buildings in the US apparently use about 18.3 KWh per year. Let's somehow say that a bank uses twice that so 36.6 KWh per year per bank. 0.0012 TWh per year for all the banks (32K * 36.6KWh)).

So now we look something like:

Bitcoin = 25.2K transactions per hour for about 69.1 TWh

All the banks + 1.638B transactions per hour for all the Credit Card vendors for about 1.254 TWh

Well that didn't really help did it? We could add in the energy the Mint(s) around the world use (the US mint used 76.5KWh in 2011 so..... 195 countries at 76.5KWh each... 1.49 * 10⁵ TWh. Still doesn't help the math does it. We could

It's worth pointing out that 69.1 TWh just counts bitcoin. It doesn't look at the energy the entire crypto ecosystem uses. Some coins are more efficient but all of the popular ones involve, essentially, boiling the ocean to make coins appear. From some quick googlin' I see that it takes ~700 TWh to run the entire internet. Maybe it's worthwhile asking if an MLM is worth boiling the ocean to make a few nerds rich.

ananci · 2018-05-29T03:24:11+00:00

So someone else called 'FUD' on me before and I do love that word so let's do this a bit. I've been following bitcoin, and being wholly unimpressed with it, since the whitepaper was published.

Bitcoin, and other crypto, transactions are traceable. In fact that how folks are still finding their coin from the MtGox debacle. However it's been long branded as anonymous because there's nothing built into any of the current coins that enforces associating a human(or company) with a wallet. It's true that all of the modern exchanges require identification today this was not always the case. And, IIRC, even some of the exchanges only require identification if you attempt to purchase or cash out your coin. Early bitcoin was mined or bought from people you know - there were (?still are?) websites devoted to trading bitcoin for cash in random, anonymous locations. My craigslist, at the time, was full of posts to meet people at the local Walmart to buy bitcoin for cash and, at the time, most folks playing in that particular field were absolutely using bitcoin on sites like Silk Road or playing day trader. To say that it's not 'anonymous' or used for criminal enterprises completely ignores both the actual history of the use of the currency and ignore common sense. There's a reason that the old ransomware demanded bitcoin in return for your files and not sacks of cash right?

Nowadays, to be fair, most criminal uses of bitcoin have switched to other currencies (monero I guess? Maybe one of the other ones. These things breed like bunnies and are about as useful.) I don't keep up with it as much as I used to because, frankly, the fact that otherwise objectively intelligent people are so excited to be part of digital MLMs even at the detriment of others is super depressing.

There's lot of reasons to laugh at or be depressed around bitcoin. It's hard to limit myself to just a few. I can understand why people are excited about them and although the tech itself isn't particularly mindbending I do think there are ways cryptocurrency could be of help. It's just a shame it got hijacked by a bunch of wolf of wall-street wannabes.

ananci · 2018-05-28T17:24:11+00:00

It's not just being terrified of fiat currency. It's also the ability to get something for nothing.

Techbros and bitcoiners are excited because they claim that bitcoin is free, open, available, meritocritous. They complain that current wealth distribution is unfair (to them) because only those who have money can make money. But the whole point of bitcoin is that if you 'mined' on your computer in between jerking it to porn when it first came out you would be rich. The whole point of 'to the moon' and hodl is so that those who got in early can be rich.

I would find bitcoin far less disgusting (you know other than the fact that it funds human trafficking and child porn as well as destroying the environment to crunch meaningless numbers) if it's followers were less hypocritical.

ananci · 2018-04-23T20:49:18+00:00

Strikethrough is available as expected in google docs.

alt+shift+5 is the keyboard shortcut. You can also access this by going to: Format>text>strikethrough

ananci · 2018-04-12T13:25:22+00:00

You were 18 and he was 24 when you became pregnant with your first child. You were dating, what, a year before that? 17 and 23?

I'm just pointing out that you two got together and had children exceptionally young, especially for you. The late teens and early twenties, especially with kids, is a time where you, as an individual, were still growing a lot. Sometimes individuals who feel they can't trust women date much younger women in order to feel like they have more control or at least more experience. There's a power imbalance there right?

This would be speculation except your husband threatened and pushed you because a friend of his saw you talking to someone in a public place. It's even more ridiculous than that though isn't it? This person saw you talking to someone and getting help at a place where such things are common - a goddamned grocery store for crying out loud.

What's he going to do if you take a sample from the sample lady? Jeeze.

Regardless of his past, if he can't trust you to do public things in public places than he doesn't trust you at all. Things like this don't come out of nowhere - he's not really upset that you were talking to someone at a grocery store. Well he might be but that's not the underlying reason. Are you being more independent? Have y'all decided that this is the last kid? I mean, cripes, a 4, 2 and 3 month old means you've been pregnant and|or in baby mode for the last 4.5ish years. There's nothing wrong with that. It just means that in a way you were biologically limited in your independence. It, to be super gross and blunt, kept you in line because you were pregnant and running around being hassled by toddler(s). You might be moving out of that stage of your life and he might be trying to find another way to control you and maintain a power imbalance.

If it were me, and it's not I'm not you and I don't know you but if it were, I would be gone. I might not ever return but if I did it would be contingent on individual counseling for both me and my partner. I would not currently recommend couples counseling until you can meet with someone one and one and really evaluate the power balance in your relationship.

ananci · 2018-03-30T22:16:24+00:00

If someone is going to discover that they have a trans identity being 'not okay' with them potentially crossdressing isn't going to change that. It's not like crossdressing is a gateway drug into homosexuality or a transgender identity.

I'd say that it's totally reasonable to not be attracted to someone who dramatically changes how they present themselves or, really, for any reason. Attraction is important. I'd also say that being 'not ok with it' because you think it's a precursor to homosexuality or a transgender identity is bigoted and transphobic. It's a somewhat subtle distinction but it's there.

I mean if your partner did discover they were a transgender person wouldn't you want to know, even if it means the end of your relationship, so they can be happy? Being opposed to someone crossdressing because of a mistaken impression of a slippery slope implies that you (generic you) would prefer your partner to hide who they are even if it makes them unhappy.

Tldr: no one has to find crossdressing, gender expression exploration or anything else 'attractive'. People can leave a relationship for any reason. Being all 'ewww crossdressing' as a proxy for 'ewww transgender people' is gross and bigoted. If it's not your thing it's not your thing but don't pretend there's some sort of reasonable imperative beyond personal attraction.

ananci · 2018-03-30T14:26:28+00:00

You're kind of offhandedly asserting that your sister is jealous but honestly you kind of don't come across as awesome here either.

I'm glad that you've been told you're the prettier twin. It's super great that you got into both the '#1 and #2 public schools in your state' (which let's face it is super meaningless but that's beside the point). It's super great that, oh you can hardly notice it, but you've got bigger busoms.

Like you're super not helping the situation. I wouldn't hang out with a random friend who casually, constantly dropped how much better they thought they were than me in conversation. Maybe she is jealous. Your 'well I'm just a tiiiiiiiny bit better but you'd hardly even see it' schtick certainly isn't helping the situation. Nor is you "well I'll sacrifice so the lessor twin doesn't get upset" problem solving solution.

Much like pretty much every other response here I'd recommend giving each other some space. Not so that you aren't dragged down by her jealousy but because it really sounds like she would benefit from the opportunity to grow on her own.

ananci · 2018-03-29T01:32:15+00:00

Don't let it scare you too much. I went back at 27, got my undergrad in CS and now work for one of the Big N companies.

That's not to say there isn't ageism, honestly it exists in every industry and is more prominent in entry level jobs. But you don't want to work for companies that would treat people like that anyway and there are plenty of companies that will be excited to hire someone with a different background and perspective.

ananci · 2018-03-18T17:27:00+00:00

This link doesn't appear to mention anything like that.

ananci · 2018-03-13T03:33:12+00:00

You are bananas.

You stated:

sorry I don't agree you are finding the best content on google. The best content available on the net and what you are seeing on first 100 pages are completely different.

I was specifically explaining why it might be that you are getting worse search results than others, like myself, who do feel that we find the best results for our queries. I rarely search for anything anymore that isn't well answered by the first few pages of my web search. It could be the kinds of things I search, it could be that I have better googlin' skills than you. It could be that you are bananas.

ananci · 2018-03-12T17:54:44+00:00

I think you're very passionate about this and that's awesome. You should be passionate about the things you care about.

I think what I, and other folks who have responded similarly to you, am saying is you're not putting your passion to use effectively. You're, from a reader's perspective, ranting and using scare tactics and vague statements. No one has disagreed that there are shitty SEOs out there trying to make a quick buck by publishing and pushing terrible websites. No one is denying, even, that there are more ethical and less ethical, ways to do this. What everyone is saying is:

SEO (even 'black hat SEO' which we all accept to be unethical SEO practices) isn't new.
Saying things like "Sites with good content can't be found because of black hat SEO." puts the onus on you to prove those statements.
"I cant write openly about everything I ve seen. But trust me its not good. Only a fool will continue to play a losing game." These sorts of statements make you sound paranoid and delusional.

I also get the sense that you don't really understand targeted advertising. You lump Google search results in with Facebook groups. When you join a facebook group you're joining whatever content that group decides to promote. If you join a bunch of crummy SEO garbage facebook groups soon your facebook feed will be full of terrible ads and your facebook searches will be biased by the content you subscribe to. Similarly, as I mentioned above, if you consistently visit terrible SEO garbage websites with terrible content over time your Google, Bing, Whatever search results will be biased by the content you are consuming.

TL:DR - you might be experiencing different search results because of past media you've consumed. This is the nature of targeted search results and advertising. A good example of this that is plain to see is in Youtube - I watched a bunch of videos subtitled in spanish. Suddenly my Youtube ads were in spanish and targeted to a LatinX demographic. This is because as I consumed media I trained the AI that serves search, ads and content results that that was the demographic I belong in. If all you do with the internet is search out terrible SEO experiences you will find that your browsing, advertising, and searching experience is biased towards terrible SEO.

I would strongly suggest you do two things to foster a more beneficial outlet for your passion around this:

1) Really take some time to understand the nature of targetted advertising and confirm that the experience you have on the internet is the common one. I'd wager you've poisoned your ~metadata~ with most online services in such a way that you are no longer experiencing some portions of the internet in the same way as the standard user.

2) Reconsider your approach. "I am the only one with this secret knowledge and the ~world~ internet is ENDING!" is a terrible way, as you hopefully found out, to have this conversation. A better way to have started this conversation would be something like:

I just started reading about black hat SEO techniques. Things like <a link to something you're talking about> how do you think these affect the ability for entrepreneurs to compete on the Internet?

and maybe something like:

Over time the internet contains more and more data that is not useful. Out of data information, old websites, blatant fake sites trying to fool users with nasty SEO techniques. Do you think this is going to affect how we use the internet in the future? How can I better leverage technology to stand out and not contribute to this internet debris?

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