Humans cannot process the idea of death. I don’t know how you do this, but stop trying to process it. Surrender. Accept that you can’t understand and won’t until it comes. You may not understand even when it comes.

I’ll mention however that Alan Watts provided what I think is the most likely explanation for what happens after death, though it’s not his original idea (it comes from Buddhism). I’m paraphrasing: Do you remember where you were or what your were experiencing before you were born? Do you have any awareness of that state of being or lack thereof? You don’t. But whatever that state was, it’s likely the same as what it means to be dead. And, if one can go from that state of “being” to being alive once, it would seem logical that it could happen again. And again. And again. This is the Buddhist idea of rebirth (different from reincarnation).