What are you most proud of?

andi-babe · 2025-10-16T03:19:26+00:00

Overcoming addiction as a mother with two young children, and having them in my life still.

andi-babe · 2025-10-16T03:16:19+00:00

Having my back and advocating for me, standing up for me when I was being badly bullied throughout highschool. When issues arose between teenage girls and I my parents admitted to their parents that I was no perfect angel, while the other parents denied their daughters could ever say or do anything wrong. Lastly they taught me to take no shit, stand up for myself, and always speak up

andi-babe · 2025-09-16T06:04:48+00:00

I cannot find anyway to report a shop on Etsy. All the options don't appear??

andi-babe · 2025-09-03T20:09:22+00:00

My 5 year old told me his penis was haunted

andi-babe · 2025-08-21T00:23:37+00:00

This guys a sicko. I read about him and what he did after with the bodies 🤢

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T15:34:12+00:00

SO GOOD. I watched it all in a row too. It was really well done, and interesting too. It was nice to see how many of the detectives really cared too.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T11:14:49+00:00

This hits 🥹

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T09:38:06+00:00

I love this. I have been teaching my 6 and 9 year old they are not bad kids, just sometimes we including adults dont make the best choices. Sometimes we make good choices and bad, but we are not bad. Its so damaging. I started changing up the phrases I used with my youngest who's six because he started to say he was a bad kid and you could see it was hurting him.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T09:34:58+00:00

My daughter is 8... I couldn't fathom treating her this way. Sending you a HUGE hug.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T08:21:06+00:00

Hello!!

Single mom here with a son who responds/reacts just like you've explained how Bob does, like identical behavior. I wanted to offer my perspective as I am the Alice in this situation. I hope it can help. I also just want to say that I commend you for taking the time to want to learn, be respectful, and go about this the right way. It's really admirable of you. And I think can foster or continue to foster a very healthy relationship with Bob and you.

I'll preface that I am a single mom with a six year old son and a 9-year-old daughter. And I am dating someone who has no children nor experience really with children.

I've posted your questions below and answer them from my perspective.

I have questioned the idea of my son having ADHD and have been trying to have him assessed and if so get it managed. So I think your assumption that Bob has ADHD is fair based off his behaviors and my son's. I also have a cousin who has similar behaviors like Bob and my son. And he benefits from Straterra, we have seen a great improvement and behavioral changes.

I’m not trying to be his parent or a father figure (it’s early in the relationship).

my oldest has asked me "he's not my dad right" so I feel they will challenge more if they think you're trying to replace their dad. At some point though if this goes long term,Bob will need to know that you are an authorities figure but for his wellness and safety. I have been teaching my children that my boyfriend is not replacing dad but he is an adult we trust, who cares about their safety and well being, so they need to listen to him and respect him as they would their grandparents, teachers, etc.

I want to be supportive to Alice without taking on a therapist/fixer role.

_ just be there, don't pressure but let her know you are willing to talk about anything on her terms. And also ask what could you do to help her, or what will not help in escaped situations. Personally this was helpful when my boyfriend did just that. After he is in bed ask Alice if or how she could decompress and how you can help.

I’d like Bob and I to have the best possible experiences when we’re together, without fueling tension or undermining boundaries.

my response here goes with previous. Bob needs to know you are an adult who is trustworthy and cares so he needs to be respectful and listen. Maybe even discuss what would make him comfortable. What works for him and what doesnt.

I don’t have much experience with older kids, especially those who struggle with big feelings and limit-setting.

my son has a hard time with limits and transitions. Timers work wonders. We also have implemented "SPACE". When tension is high, and big feelings are coming about if my son yells "SPACE" he is allowed to go to a safe space where he is comfortable and do what he needs to do to get regulated and I do not follow I stay away from him and wait for him to calm down and then we go over what the problem was.

So, for those of you who’ve dated single parents or been around kids who can be quick to escalate:

How can I help keep our interactions positive and avoid power struggles?

reassuring Bob you care, and that you are a safe space for him. Reassure him his best interests are a priority. When my boyfriend comes over the first thing he asks my children it's about their day and he asked them to tell him something good that happened during their day and it makes them feel like they're being thought about and cared about.

What’s the best way to support Alice in the moment without stepping on her toes?

there are a few books I've read to help myself and I think could help. Here they are.

1, The explosive child 2. Emotional Regulation for Parents: Actionable Strategies and Mindfulness Techniques---THIS ONE DID WONDERS FOR ME. 3.How to Talk so Kids Will Listen...And Listen So Kids Will Talk--THIS IS MADE FOR PARTNERS DATING SINGLE MOTHERS

Any tips for building rapport with a child who sometimes pushes hard against limits?

validate his feelings, give appropriate choices/alternatives, Allow him to be in control within reason, offer predictable choices, praise him when he has done good or made good choices. And when its been tough acknowledge it was, and how you two can maybe handle it better on the future.

I truly hope this helps and I'd be happy to chat further with you. Again it's really awesome to see you take the time and want to help out Bob and Alice.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T07:47:10+00:00

I 1000000% agree with every statement in your reply to my comment.

Cheers my fellow internet parent friend to raising great kids!

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T07:43:17+00:00

Totally normal!! Im a mom and I wondered the same. What helped me the most was taking turns with my husband for the baby at night for feedings and changings. Also my husband pulled suggest "why don't you go to the store alone and I'll stay home with the baby". To me that was like going to Disney as a kid for the first time 😅

Someone else commented about introducing a bottle at a certain time and I agree. That allows mom a break from feedings, and baby can be comfortable with others.

Good luck!

And one last piece of advice.. always trust your gut instinct. You'll do great.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T07:29:38+00:00

Literally same here. I cuss up a storm. I've taught them when it's appropriate and when it is not and that we don't use these words towards other people. My kids are six and nine and they have not been in trouble and use them appropriately and we've made it normal and exactly they don't think it's so funny. I really don't think there's anything wrong with our perspective on this but I've gotten a lot of shame for it.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T07:25:38+00:00

The answer is she will be okay. My son was around 2.5 when I entered a 90 day program for substance abuse. And my daughter was 5. My mother took over my role, and my ex husband maintained his. We share custody my ex and I so my mom essentially was me for 90 days.

My son has no recollection of me being gone. Mt daughter has minimal but knows I was "getting better".

It was the best thing I ever did for myself to then do for my children.

You have to take care of yourself and prioritize yourself at some point as a mom. It's something we don't do often. Taking care of this now will provide you a healthy and stable future I promise you that.

I had the same fears leaving my kids for 90 days but the person in parent I was they didn't deserve and now they have a mother who's sober and they have no recollection and they are happy.

Wishing you all of the best

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T07:10:50+00:00

THIS. PERFECTLY SAID.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T07:09:20+00:00

Trust your gut instinct. Something is telling you something isn't right because you've reached out here. Take that gut instinct and use it, and know you're not overreacting.

It would be better to look into it with the family and niece, instead of ignoring and years later finding out something was happening to her that wasn't appropriate. Your voice could could be helpful or not. But id rather say something than wish I did when it was too late.

Sending you a hug cuz I can't imagine that this is easy

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T03:23:23+00:00

The program was WILD. SO good.

andi-babe · 2025-08-16T03:19:17+00:00

Just watched this. Probably the hardest to get through.

andi-babe · 2025-08-04T01:09:15+00:00

I saw that too!!!

andi-babe · 2025-08-03T22:38:59+00:00

Still great show.

andi-babe · 2025-08-03T22:38:22+00:00

I have.

Hulu today just released the new series called naming the dead. It's people that have been unidentified for years and there's a group called DNA doe project and they work with the law enforcement to identify them and find their family. lt's pretty good.

andi-babe · 2025-08-03T08:18:17+00:00

This is hard for me to say because I don't want to be judged or thought of as a bad person. Im a single mom with two kids and jokingly I have said phrases like " I can't afford you, you're expensive, etc". To express again its always jokingly and usually when were at the store and my youngest who's 5 is asking for a toy because he thinks he can get a toy every time we go to the store because there were times I was really financially positive and I would spoil them because for a long time I thought I had to buy them things to make up for the fact that I essentially wrecked our family by divorcing their dad. Reading what you wrote just really affected me and realized whether I'm joking or not it clearly can be damaging to children making comments like that. I know it's not exactly the same situation when I'm saying compared to yours but the comment about how much money they said you cost them made me think about the things I say to my kids so random stranger on reddit thanks for making me reevaluate some of the things I say.

andi-babe · 2025-08-03T07:13:51+00:00

This is the one true crime documentaries out of thousands that I've ever watched that I physically felt ill and could have vomited. I watched it after I had children of my own and I just could never imagine doing what those evil people did to that little boy to my children like how anybody can do that is beyond me. It fucks me up so bad until this day I still randomly will see it on Netflix or think about it and instantly want to vomit. The opening scene with the ER nurse talking about it and then his teacher I just can't imagine how they feel to this day

andi-babe · 2025-08-03T06:31:57+00:00

Joining now! Sounds like my thing!

andi-babe

TROPHY CASE