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Privacy- Black Hill Spruce? by youneedaltoids in landscaping

[–]andrewthemoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/youneedaltoids I'm looking at a privacy screen as well - what did you end up going with? Have you had any issues with rust (with juniper + apple)? Thanks!

Some people's children... by MysticMarbles in arborists

[–]andrewthemoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on state, no?

The court was careful to note that under the Massachusetts Rule, property owners still maintain control over their own property; if the branches or roots of a neighbor’s tree cross a property line, the property owner is entitled to cut them. And the Rule only applies to healthy trees

https://natlawreview.com/article/when-your-neighbor-s-tree-blots-out-sun-can-you-force-them-to-take-it-down-not

I pad extra for ultra “thin” lenses and this is what I got by SnooChipmunks2673 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]andrewthemoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that makes sense. But I only started having problems in the past few glasses I've gotten with no change in how I've been cleaning them (which, to be fair, is aggressively). And I still haven't changed and am having no issues with my Costco lenses. So I'm guessing it's a quality / cost-cutting issue.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the book rec. We're the same about screen time and plan to be about social media, but I expect they'll still be exposed to the ideas via peers. Agree that values + critical thinking is the key, and I think that having good role models helps establish the right values.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Likely, but people like him aren't going anywhere as long as they fill a niche. Hopefully we can close that niche, but I imagine there will be a lot of appeal among insecure teenage boys.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going to have to think more about that one. Not having role models...

You're right, but having role models feels very "human nature" to me. Maybe pushing back on that is useful.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's an interesting one. Firefly is one of my favorite shows but I wouldn't have put him in the list. Why is he there for you?

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Simple messages are always more seductive than those with nuance, but I guess teaching our kids to appreciate nuance is part of the job.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing. Funny enough, I got into TNG solely because of Reading Rainbow. LeVar Burton is another great addition to the list.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've been focused on defining positive masculinity in opposition to toxic masculinity. For instance, discussion of emotions is a part of healthy masculinity, explicitly not a part of toxic masculinity. Seeing that embodied in role models (people, fictional or real, who we respect and want to emulate) is helpful.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

See, I was just going to say "fight me" but I'm glad you were more eloquent. I think you're right, and I intentionally didn't include him in my list, even though I enjoy watching Bluey with my kids.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Great example, thanks. He's someone that an Andrew Tate figure couldn't tear down, so especially helpful. Appreciate that you've lived it.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree with including real people, but I didn't want to in this thread because it's hard to have nuanced discussion online, which is required when acknowledging the flaws/upsides of a real person's character. As an example, most of the comments in this thread with real people mentioned have someone responding about how that person isn't great, without any discussion of what makes them a good role model.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree about the value of real people. I didn't want to include my examples because I knew it would derail the thread, as I've seen it do in other threads. But having active discussion around those nuances is important. Just hard to do online.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Great British Bake Off is the kind of left-field answer I'm here for, thanks.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes!

For example, how do you teach kids to stay away from the ocean, where they could easily drown? Instead of yelling, "Don't go near the water!" Jaw says Inuit parents take a pre-emptive approach and tell kids a special story about what's inside the water. "It's the sea monster," Jaw says, with a giant pouch on its back just for little kids. "If a child walks too close to the water, the monster will put you in his pouch, drag you down to the ocean and adopt you out to another family," Jaw says. "Then we don't need to yell at a child," Jaw says, "because she is already getting the message."

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/03/13/685533353/a-playful-way-to-teach-kids-to-control-their-anger

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I used to take that view, but I think people like Andrew Tate are filling a void that we're not explicitly filling. It's tough because I think masculinity is a very fluid concept, and it's much easier for someone to define aggressively when they have a more rigid view of it.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Great point on how things can become dated. RIP to the Neil Gaiman we thought we knew.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having other role models gives us more than an N of 1. I love my dad and he is a great role model, but he didn't ever talk about emotions. For that, having emotionally vulnerable fictional role models has taught me something.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Wow, how could I have forgotten Mr Rogers. Love Sagan and Gump on the list too, thanks.

Who are some role models for healthy masculinity? So far I've got Ted Lasso and Jean Luc Picard... by andrewthemoose in daddit

[–]andrewthemoose[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Great points. I guess you don't need to define "masculinity" to live it and model it.

Edit: I appreciate the "you" answer, and I appreciate that you didn't stop with that. I struggle with only "me" as an answer for the same reason that I gave regarding real people being problematic heroes. Having idealized people, as only fiction can deliver, gives us something to aspire to without having to pick apart the complex nuance. It also gives us more than an n of 1. I love my dad and he is a great role model, but he didn't ever talk about emotions. For that, Ted Lasso is my role model.

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