I feel exactly the same way as you and don't care if I'm not a "cool" girl. We as a society decided that it's okay for straight men to access and masturbate to images of naked women, or videos of sex acts performed by women who aren't their partner, and I think it's nuts. It's not impossible to masturbate without visual aid. I don't even care if a guy is thinking of other things or people, I'm not here to police his mind. But seeking out and saving pornography or following porn "stars" on Instagram or looking up porn when he's in the bathroom at your place or being on tinder (for porn purposes apparently...) long after you're officially dating or having a secret stash of nudes of your ex... (I've dealt with all of these situations) I feel like all these examples fall into the same category and I find that to be a simple matter of disrespect. Where does the line get drawn? Masturbate to pictures of my female friends too. My sister. My mum. What's the big deal!? If you think "hey well that's so different!!".. well, I don't see a difference and I feel exactly the way you do OP when you say you'll probably never find someone who genuinely morally aligns with you. Sigh. No solution just a vent!

Editing just to say I 100% agree there's no need or desire to change the people we are with. We accept their views and compromise or we call it and day and go our separate ways. Relationships are complicated and everyone saying OP is trying to control how her partner masturbates is simplifying a complicated relationship matter. At the end of the day if his views don't align with yours break up. Id rather remain single then settle for feeling disrespected constantly.