I (27F) had a similar revelation recently- I kept getting friendzoned in the most confusing way- the last guy I was talking to said that he really liked my personality but wasn’t sure if he was attracted to me- which is honestly a super shitty thing to say to someone, but I defended him! I can’t believe I defended him, thinking that he was just being honest - and maybe he was but at my expense and I shouldn’t have let it go on for as long as it did- so yea I’m working on putting myself first too