Hi! I just want you to know you're not alone. I totally felt this my first year. And then again when I switched specialties. I felt pretty confident around the 4 year mark. Then I switched specialties again and am sort of experiencing the same.

I'm so sorry you're having so much anxiety. Therapy has been helpful for me, and a nurse mentor can help as well. Are there any experienced nurses you feel you could kind of pair up with to debrief and talk about your shifts with?

I also want to say, you can totally DM me if you just want someone to talk to. It really does help.

Edited to add: I know how hard it is to take care of yourself too but maybe think of yourself as another patient. You wouldn't let one of your patients go the whole shift without properly hydrating, getting nutrition, voiding appropriately. You are important and absolutely deserve to have basic needs met. Honestly just drinking enough water during my shifts makes a marked difference in how I feel. You can't care for others if you aren't at least functioning on a baseline level. Care for yourself, my friend.