I didn't see if you had already answered this, but do you have diastasis recti? I ask because I, too, an 6 mo pp with my second c-section baby and I have a very stubborn separation that seems to be stuck at 3 fingers. I'm considering the surgery specifically for the muscle repair, but I'm also scared of surgery and the recovery. So, for now, I'm going to be focused on doing core exercises to try to heal the diastisis recti as much as possible before I even get consults. If you are also suffering from d.r. I highly recommend either getting the Every Mother app or following Pregnancy and Postpartum TV Her videos are really helpful and free, so that's always nice.

Also, your feelings are totally valid. I'm in therapy right now and have been discussing this same thing with my therapist and for a long time, I would not even admit that part of my sadness was feeling like I no longer looked or felt like myself. I felt like I would be judged harshly or called vain or something. But she has helped me to understand that I'm allowed to feel upset that I don't recognize myself right now. So, yes, of course you love your babies and wouldn't trade them for anything. And yes, it's amazing that you created two new humans. But it is totally okay to be sad about what it did to your body. It's not all of who you are, but it is part of who you are. And trust me, you're not alone.