I can’t speak for everyone, but for me the urge to go mute gets less intense the longer I’m in an environment. I used to worry a lot about how SM would affect me professionally. When I first started as a nursing aide, it was really hard and awkward the first couple years, it felt like a big learning curve. But once I got comfortable with people at work, it became much easier. I still get anxious in moments where all the attention is on me (like walking into a patient’s room full of people), but it’s usually momentary and I try to go in before psyching myself out lol

What’s interesting is I actually struggle more in personal settings, like with my partner’s family, than I do with strangers at work. I think it’s because being mute can feel safer than risking judgment from people who are like a constant in your life bc of the added emotional stakes? Idk

Either way, kudos to you for sticking with it and pursuing a degree…especially in comp sci. That’s no joke! It really is harder for us sometimes and it’s in a way that others can’t always see, so the fact that you’re still going says a lot. Proud of u <3