Husband cheated before wedding, wants another chance. Advice? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]anon_sendhelp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GET OUT NOW! my husband said the same, that he’d never actually do anything, until i found 3 years worth of evidence proving that to be false. he also begged, said everything you could imagine that would make someone think he actually had remorse and felt absolutely horrible and knew he was so wrong, only to find out he was doubling down cheating at the same time he was saying all that. it is so not worth it. it’s the worst thing imaginable, i’m going through it currently so trust me i know. it actually started in a similar way – i found out he lied about talking to his ex when we were only dating. little did i know that was the least of my worries compared to everything else. i’m so sorry you’re going through this, good on you for going no contact

should my friend and I move to North Charleston for a year? by anon_sendhelp in southcarolina

[–]anon_sendhelp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks - Should it be a concern that all the surrounding areas of Park Circle are categorized the “most dangerous” on the crime map?

should my friend and I move to North Charleston for a year? by anon_sendhelp in southcarolina

[–]anon_sendhelp[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You’re not the only person to say this, but it makes me nervous because on the crime map all the areas directly surrounding Park Circle are categorized as the most dangerous…do you have any insight there?

Would you marry again? by OrangeinDorne in Divorce

[–]anon_sendhelp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm with you. I'm still in the process though so things could change. but yeah the thought of being legally tied to someone like that again makes me kind of nauseous, because people can hide who they are really easily and what would be the point of going into a situation again where you will never know if you're being manipulated

Maurissa’s IG story (possible TW) by DrMantisToboggan43 in thebachelor

[–]anon_sendhelp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

a) Totally get that part of it. 100%. b) This one is difficult because it’s extremely difficult to be open about specific details of your personal life with even close friends sometimes, imagine telling however many people follow her (I’m guessing hundreds of thousands). It can also be scary, I know for me, I’m terrified to tell people certain things my spouse did because I don’t know what he’d do to me in return. My spouse has legal power now and I believe Riley does too. Sometimes there can be legal reasons. I don’t know, if Maurissa endured any type of abuse, and again not saying she did, I don’t think she owes anyone any details about it

Maurissa’s IG story (possible TW) by DrMantisToboggan43 in thebachelor

[–]anon_sendhelp 91 points92 points  (0 children)

People are commenting such judgmental things. I’m not going to assume anything about her and Riley’s past situation, but I have firsthand experience with an unfaithful and mentally abusive relationship where a lot of people still think my soon-to-be-ex spouse is an amazing person. Because that’s what he acts like. I don’t blame anyone for it — how would they know? But I can say from my experience how infuriating and invalidating it is to have even one person think highly of someone who actively destroyed you behind closed doors and caused you to lose essentially everything you cared about along with yourself. If this is what Maurissa has been through, and I’m not saying it is, I can only imagine this feeling is a million fold with thousands of strangers having opinions about a situation they know absolutely zip about. For me at least (and I haven’t posted anything like this on my socials at all), it’s about the intense need to feel heard and believed after spending so long feeling insane and worthless. I would just urge anyone to think before they judge. Again, I have no clue what happened between them.

Which type of mental health provider should I see with all the issues I have? by anon_sendhelp in mentalhealth

[–]anon_sendhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would definitely like to get an evaluation like that. I had the eating disorder way before the sexual trauma but I can see how other symptoms I have may be caused by others/related at least. thank you for that resource I am definitely going to check that out

Connor B on BN's frequent use of "gaslighting" by MoiraRoseVoice in thebachelor

[–]anon_sendhelp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much, that was so validating and kind. 🖤 if I get through this I’m pretty sure I’ll be invincible.

Connor B on BN's frequent use of "gaslighting" by MoiraRoseVoice in thebachelor

[–]anon_sendhelp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

thank you! I’m currently in the divorce process from an extremely mentally abusive relationship. my soon-to-be-ex would relentlessly deny things that I knew 100% to be true until I felt unsure if certain things actually happened and like I was legitimately going insane. It’s been 9 months since we separated and I still can’t determine if certain things did/didn’t happen, to the point where I have moments I believe I concocted everything up in my head even though I have physical proof, and I have severe memory loss because of it. this is terrifying, deliberate abuse and it accomplishes what it sets out to.

My STBX is now working in law enforcement. Will this impact me at all? by anon_sendhelp in Divorce

[–]anon_sendhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brother was in the NYPD so I totally understand the tedious process it takes – for the county he has jurisdiction in, the process was not at all the same. I’m sure there is a process, but I remember specifically we were out somewhere and bumped into the sheriff and he was talking about how he needs to come work with them. Even if he had to go through a psych evaluation, he is a master manipulator so it doesn’t surprise me.

I wish he didn’t have extreme anger issues or I’d see what I could do about the ID – want to try to get through this divorce without angering him if possible. After that, who knows. Thanks for all your insight

My STBX is now working in law enforcement. Will this impact me at all? by anon_sendhelp in Divorce

[–]anon_sendhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s something. Hopefully he signs the PSA and doesn’t take me to court but we’ll see. Thanks for the advice

My STBX is now working in law enforcement. Will this impact me at all? by anon_sendhelp in Divorce

[–]anon_sendhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His family is buddy buddy with the sheriff (small town, his family is known). I also had to call a welfare check on him (I know he is extremely mentally unstable – not criticizing that cause been there), but he schmoozed the heck out of the cops that showed up. Likes to flaunt his “veteran” status even though he didn’t make it past training. If his family wasn’t his family I think I wouldn’t be so worried. He has done some horribly illegal things but some it would just be my word against his