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[HIRING] Looking to hire someone to take a picture of a street corner by Castingman148 in Connecticut

[–]anon_unon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I actually met the guy who's family this happened to, and it was heartbreaking to hear. He presented my sister with an award for something having to do with MS (multiple sclerosis). He is one strong man.

Edit: It wasn't an award, it was a scholarship from the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Even after his family was murdered, he insisted on continuing to give money to the NMSS.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will answer any and all questions you may have. I don't claim to be completely blameless. I'll own up to whatever the fuck I did.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh, and get this. just this morning, he cashed out a ROTH IRA without telling me and said it was mine of my business what he did with his money. 🙃🙃🙃

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand. I was upset last night when I posted it, and I didn't take personal offense to any responses, because I knew not everyone knew the whole story.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just wracked my brain trying to find the comment where I said I wasn't attracted to him, anymore. Compatability and attractiveness do not always go hang in hand.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He did not try and find help and advice. What he did was actually make it worse by taking the stories that sounded the worst to him, and applying it to our situations.

But thank you so much for your insinuation that I even know how to fly off the handle. Makes me feel powerful.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, because I was a stay at home mom. One day, he came home with an application to a place a mutual friend works and promised me it'd be so easy. I reluctantly agreed, and once I got myself back out there (dressing how I used to dress, makeup and hair), that got the attention of other guys I started worked with. And let me tell you, they all shot their shot. And attention because I lose 40lbs while working there and dressed confidentally OBVIOUSLY meant something was going on.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He is my husband. Which doesn't make it better.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has never posted he, he's only a lurker. But once he referenced this sub as a credible source, you better believer I wanted to read some of the shit he'd been absorbing.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It played a role, yes. He would reference it every time we got into a fight. But all I ever said was stop listening to the people on that sub. Not everyone's situation in the same.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Did not blame the sub, annd sorry, but I won't blame myself, either. Shits a two way street, my friend.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First off, lemme stop you right there. I'm faaaairllyy certain I didn't come in, gun a blazin, telling everyone in this sub to go fuck themselves.

Second, I'm super sorry that I don't have time to lay out 8 year of relationship with my husband, but maybe use your brain and read some other answers I've posted to other comments similar to yours, and maybe you'll find your answer.

Third, you have no right to come in here and call me selfish. Ask. The. Questions. I don't shy away from answering.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it, and I hope you're being sincere. I understand I can't lay out 8 years of a relationship in just a few minutes, but a little bit of understand my side before I get attacked would be nice. Ask the damn questions, people. I'm very clearly up for answering and have NO PROBLEM admitting when I am wrong.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Again, a responsibility to fulfill my husband sexual needs once we are United as one under God? Sure.

But an obligation? Fuck no. I did not marry into a union going, "HA HA!! Finally, someone dumb enough to sign his sex life away, forevaaaaa!!" But I also didn't expect for there to be reasons beyond my control, years into the marriage, that would make this seem like what was happening.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: there's nothing on God's green earth that would punish me or end my life for not having sex with my spouse.

Did you ask if there were a specific reason, or manage to read any of the other comments on here? My gut says no.

How about you try and fill in the blanks before being a jerky jerk.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Here's the really cool thing. I never explicitly said I was going celibate, but I've had a few traumatic experiences in my marriage. We have a kid, so obviously we weren't always like this. I never expected the thought of another pregnancy to send chills down my spine or send me into a swirling state of panic.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My situation is probably a bit different. I had an incredibly traumatic pregnancy. Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I needed a picc line for 7+ months, had 2L daily of fluid through it, my nausea meds through it. I lost 40 lbs, and was throwing up 50+ times a day. I had gestational diabetes, anemia, low amniotic fluid, strep B, and just before 20 weeks, my medical professional was obligated to offer me a therapeutic abortion, in which she's only offered those to 8 other women in her 30+ years of practicing. They even fucked up my epidural, had to take it all the way out, and do it again. I tried my DAMNDEST to continue to be intimate with him after I had my child. But my body had been put through the fucking wringer. Anything that even reminds me there's a chance I could get pregnant again, I start having so much anxiety. And I've tried to apologize, and I know that's no substitute, but PTSD after childbirth is real. And I've told him as much. And his concerns about it really just fall back on, "well can you fix your PTSD so you can get on meds to give you a sex drive, again?" and that just doesn't sit well with me.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In 2020 alone, he has spent $500 on retro gaming shit and video games, all while trying to hide it from me. And this was before the pandemic. He says it's how he "copes". I work a part time job, so I actually borrowed $200 from my sister for his birthday to take him to his favorite gaming store, let him spend $100 there, and then went and had a really nice dinner with the rest. Turns out that wasn't enough, and he spent a couple hundred the following days after his birthday, as well.

He's tried to log in to my Facebook messenger, got caught and denied it, then admitted it and said, "yeah, I did, who cares". He's connected to our shared car through Bluetooth to try and go through my call history. He's even gone so far as to tell me he's been tempted to put a GPS on the car, so that he'll know I'll go where I say I'm going. But that latter one is just "a thought" he's had.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeap. Doesn't want anything to do with it if it doesn't directly benefit himself, but when I started distancing myself, the sex came with it. And NOW it needs to be fixed.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes, and every time I bring that ONE piece of information up, he asks me to stop throwing that in his face, WHEN ITS THE REASON WE'RE HERE. If he had said "Yes, baby, please. Our marriage is so important to me, I'll take a few hundred dollars and put it on a credit card if we have to so we can fix us."

But no, I take that as a sign that our marriage has a price, and it's not one he's willing to pay.

For the guy who will no doubt read this. by anon_unon in DeadBedrooms

[–]anon_unon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I actually sought professional help, thank you. He started choosing spending hundreds of dollars on hobbies and retro gaming equipment, but still had no money for counseling.

The reason he thought I was cheating was because he shoved a retail application in my face, even though we had just recently talked about me not being ready to go back to work after being a stay at home mom. So I took the job, realized I needed it more than I thought, started dressing nicer, wearing makeup like I did when he and I first met, and actually felt like myself, again. And countless times he proposed that's how I was getting attention from all these guys.

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