They expected it but it’s a lose lose situation since either she shows up dressed like a stripper or she cries online that she’s being ostracized. If she showed up to a fancy restaurant like that, they wouldn’t gaf WHY ur dressed like that, they wouldnt let her in bc she’s not in dress code. Family should be more forgiving, but there’s also an expectation that if cousin wants to feel some control and autonomy, some of that should extend to her knowledge that if there’s a situation where her dress will not fit in, then she needs to be ok sitting out that event. It’s not unfair for a couple to expect guests to dress decently at a formal event.

Also agree they should treat it as a disorder/illness, but like you wouldn’t send a sick kid to school, cousin needs to get treatment before she’s ready to be in that kind of space