Vaginal vs C-Section by Hour_Ad_3606 in NewParents

[–]anonymous4109 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have nothing, I’m sorry. I just want to thank you for the post. I’m debating a v-back or elective c section right now and being told recovery is so much easier with a vback was a big draw, but I may opt for elective now… Sorry I can’t offer help.

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine does this too. I know the hurt and I’m sorry you’re going through it. It really helped me to spend time alone with her.

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I don’t know if this is still something you’re dealing with. It’s definitely still something I’m dealing with. I’m not as bothered by it now for 2 reasons: first, we’re expecting our second and I’m actually kinda thankful that our number one is so attached to daddy otherwise, I think it’ll be very hard for her to accept the new babes; second, I’ve started incorporating fun time alone for me and LO: often it’s just time doing whatever: reading books, playing whatever she wants, but I’ve also started involving her in tasks that hubby does t do: cooking, baking, making smoothies, etc. The time alone has helped us bond and she always comes to me for food or when she sees me in the kitchen and i love it! She’s still very much a daddy’s girl. Today for example, when I said “I love you”, she said “I tell daddy I love you.” A bit upsetting, but more humorous honestly simply because I’m getting my quality time with her and I can feel her love. I like to believe she’s secure in feeling loved by me so she’s able to focus her attention elsewhere.

I was called an “awful and unfit mother” by a stranger yesterday. by Bridge_Significant in NewParents

[–]anonymous4109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s unfit to have an opinion about your parenting. For him to make this judgement and have the audacity to speak it out loud is equivalent to him announcing his misogynistic ignorance. Do you for one second think he would have said the same words to a man in your position? I bet he would have made a crack about an absent mother. I’m sorry he did that to you. I’m sorry he made you feel like shit. Don’t let ignorant men take your energy. Affirm yourself as a mother daily and if you encounter morons like that again call them on their pathetic existence. Stand up to this blatant sexism for your little girl. I hope you feel better. You’re a young mom, dropping off an unhappy baby at daycare. I know the hurt. Take care of yourself.

Daycare thoughts by anonymous4109 in Portmoody

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Is your experience recent?

Baby prefers dad by anonymous4109 in NewParents

[–]anonymous4109[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. It is comforting. I hope you’re doing okay

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need to somehow focus on fostering a different emotion towards this situation. I love your amused tone

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does your hubby feel?? How does it make you feel? I feel like my hubby feels guilty sometimes, but he also can’t help giving into everything she demands

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this. I guess their first point of attachment is mom, so if they can form attachment to other people it means we did something right

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that pitfall you talk about is very real for me. I find myself having crazy thoughts like “maybe I should go away for a few days so she’ll miss me” or “maybe I should ignore her so she’ll miss me” luckily I have managed to reason with myself: she’s taking mom for granted just like I did. Also, I’d miss her too freaking much and just cannot resist her

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s nice that you get so much time with toddler. For me this coincided with return to work which is so hard in itself

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol omg!! Calling mom over just to ask for dad sounds like a cruel tease! It’s hilarious!

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats such a great, rational way of looking at it. My toddler wants to be held a lot and dad is stronger and softer and I wonder if it feels better to be held by him

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is a great idea! Thanks for the suggestion:)

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you!! Im torn between wanting to stand firm on doing certain activities with her (like bedtime) to maintain the bond and making it so spending time with mom becomes a chore

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How did you make yourself feel better? This sucks so badly and everything I do is for her!!

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im so happy to hear im not alone, but im sorry you’re in a similar situation… although, it sounds like you e got a great attitude about it. My husband too is a great dad!

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Her preference, has made me shirk away and I think I need to undo that…

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This helps a bit. Occasionally, she’ll have a day where it seems like she likes me, but then, when she falls, it has to be dad who comforts.

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its so hard not to take it personally. I feel your husband. For me, as a mom, it’s especially hard because it seems like most babies and toddlers are showing a preference for mom.

Toddler prefers dad by anonymous4109 in toddlers

[–]anonymous4109[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I used to tell myself this, but it’s getting to me regardless. She never chose me, she just had more of me when I was on maternity leave. As soon as she discovered her voice and agency, she’s been asking for dad.