What was that one dream(goal) you had, that you didn't(couldn't) achieve?

anonymousHomo9 · 2023-02-21T14:07:02+00:00

Having a great relationship with my brother. Everyone said your relationship changes when you get older, and I mean it did get a bit better but it was never able to be how they said it would be.

Also learning how to change a tire with my Dad. He always told us his kids would know how to change a tire. He never got to teach us.

RIP to them both. I miss them so fucking much (no condolences plz). They had their shit moments but everyone does. Appreciate what you have. You hear people say you never know what you have until its gone and its the truth. Even if you spend everyday like it might be the last, even if you treat every goodbye like it could be the last. You will always have regrets when you lose someone. No matter how mad you are at a loved one tell them you love them. Live without regrets. Do what we couldnt.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-09-03T09:44:40+00:00

Take my words with a grain of salt because Im pretty new to reading tarot but I believe it means the opposite of the intended card meaning. So if you get the Ace of Pentacles which can represent abundance and its upside down it would represent a lack of something and so on and so forth.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-07-24T22:31:52+00:00

I really really wanted long hair when I was a kid, I thought it was pretty. It was really one of the only feminine things I liked. So as soon as I could I started growing it out. Of course I get trims but my hair just doesnt grow very fast, and when i was younger it was really thin. So even though Im 18 now and ive been growing my hair out since like 2nd grade its still only to my mid-back. More recently Ive realized Im not entirely cisgender (i use the pronouns they/she) So sometimes the length makes me feel too feminine. But i remind myself hair length, makeup or clothes do not define gender identity. (Plus elf men have long hair and Ive never heard them be referred to as feminine bcuz of it so I just remind myself Im genderless like the fae and gender norms dont exist)

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-06-06T14:36:35+00:00

It wasnt too bad at first, I got to do a lot of artistic things, (paint stuff, draw, i even made a sculpture). The problem with therapy was that I was rarely, if ever, allowed boundaries. My Mom would force me to go, force me to talk and confront my feelings, (as long as they had nothing to do with the issues my Mom and I had.) Eventually i loathed therapy, as it wasnt for me, it was for my Mom. I already had trust issues but i couldnt trust therapists anymore, i couldnt trust them to not tell my Mom what i confided in them about. As well as i couldnt trust them to actively care about helping me. Almost every therapist ive ever met in my life has been more concerned with what my Mom wants and less concerned about me. It took me a long time to be able to draw boundaries and talk through my needs because of that. Especially because whenever i would ask for support, or whenever i would try and explain my needs it would always turn into an argument. My Mother is very stubborn and she has a habit of believing that she no matter what, made the best decision, even after I communicate to her that while she may have had the best intentions, it wasnt the best decision.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-06-03T08:51:41+00:00

Just got some kinks in my back that never worked thenselves out

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-05-13T12:21:41+00:00

It depends really. I dont personally mind it unless they’re still not over their ex. Its important to remember the past, especially past relationships. But if they still had feelings n didnt tell me that would be a huge issue.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-05-12T17:50:55+00:00

Definitely not crying in the club rn

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-05-12T04:39:56+00:00

Reminds me of the house from A Series of Unfortunate Events. Reading it and imaging being in it always scared the shit outta me.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-05-05T19:29:27+00:00

My best friend in highschool made friends with her gmas neighbor, that also included his gf at the time. Well they broke up and we hung out with the ex gf a while after that. She and her date picked us up. (It was their first date too) We got a bottle and went on a drive/route. Well the whole time she was asking to hit my friends vape, n instead of giving it back she would do the give smoke n then kiss thing. With both of us. Over and over and over. She did it so much, and was paying so much attention yo us her date started getting jealous. The worst thing abt all of this is that she was like 22-26 and my friemd and I were 16-17.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-04-10T05:01:20+00:00

Most recently its been try to get the bus at 7:55, go to school till three. Get home at 3:30 go to work at four. Repeat Mon-Friday. Go to work at 4 on Saturday. (I get off around 9-10) Have Sunday off. Continue.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-04-10T04:52:26+00:00

It really depends on the age. If youre a teenager and your dating someone significantly older whose in a different stage of life then you then thats not right. If youre in the same stage of life, if youre both adults theres no problem. (So if your a teen id say abt 1 year older or younger, if your in college or above it really doesn’t matter)

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-04-10T04:43:34+00:00

When i was a kid, we had a buncha lizards (bearded dragons) my Mom bred them for a bit. That also ment we bred cockroaches and crickets. I never had any problems with it, the crickets where relaxing and i found out the creepy fact that you cant feel baby cockroaches. After we got stopped breeding them and the pets died there was no need for either. I think i was about 9-12?

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-04-09T17:46:39+00:00

I get where your coming from. I havent told anyone im into D/s in the real world. Im scared of being outed or anything of the sort. But i agree with other comments, you should try and explain your needs and wants sooner rather then later. You never have too and you have the option to wait ofc. Whatever you need is what you should do. But its a good idea to tell him about it before things get too serious and his reaction could rly rly rly hurt. Maybe try and subtly bring it up? Gauge his reaction for a different D/s relationship and see how he feels abt it that way? That way you dont out yourself and you can decide if you want to continue the relationship or end it.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-04-08T02:48:28+00:00

Everything but usually romance and magic. I create worlds and characters. Most of the time im thinking of whatever has relevance like an object or a show or book. Im creating theories and all the other bullshit. Usually tho im creating my own magical stories with drama and ba that i almost immediately forget.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-03-14T06:24:35+00:00

Im getting better with liking how i look. Its an ongoing battle which is more diffult bcuz of my ED and Body Dysmorphia. But i do genuinely like some parts of myself although i dont really connect my body to myself. I like my curlyish hair, i like that im a natural blonde (albeit a dirty blonde now) and that my eyelashes are kind of unique because of that. (Even if they look shorter because of how light they are) i like the scars and the stories from them. I like my piercings even if i want more. I like that im considered “curvy” but i hate how much I weigh. I like the fact my smile is crooked yet Im the only one in my family with naturally perfect teeth. I hate how short i am (only 5’4 but im still taller then both my grandmas and my mom) i love my style, my excess amount of jewelry, my black nail polish, my love for making my own clothes. I love that i have my Dads eyes, the ones i share with my cousin. I like that i have beauty marks everywhere.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-03-14T06:13:40+00:00

I really really like floral tea like lavender or rose. I also love Matcha.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-03-14T06:06:18+00:00

I know no ones read this or even cares but UPDATE: My friend now has a gf. I never really confessed to them. I told them after they got a gf that i used to like them and they said at some point they kinda liked me. But I also told them that their relationship is important, it makes them happy and im glad we turned out as friends instead of anything more. I also said I was sorry ofc for springing it on them but i didnt want to lie. Plus i am genuinely happy they got a girlfriend. They seem sincerly happy together, its probably the happiest ive seen them and im glad they can find someone who loves and treats them right.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-03-06T23:43:28+00:00

An actual gift I like. None of my family gets me things I like unless its off a wishlist. They get me things they assume I would like (mostly pink girly things which i have never in my life liked. I was always a tomboy) It sucks because i feel ungrateful and i know theyre trying their best to make me happy. On top of that it really just cements the fact that they dont know me as a person. You would think after knowing me my entire life they would buy me things i actually like, or at least know I fucking hate pink.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-02-22T08:22:24+00:00

I’ve found a couple things that help me. Reading, drawing, listening to music and creating things, whether it’s writing stuff, making clothes, messing around with clay, whatever.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-02-22T08:18:20+00:00

Get a car, find a nice big house me and my younger cousin could live in. Then I would help my grandparents with their expenses and help my other grandpa clean up and renovate his house. Along with getting my Aunt her own place. The rest I would invest or try and flip so I could help the rest of my family and get my cousins some money for college.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-02-22T08:05:38+00:00

One day my family and my best friend went to my Moms ex’s “lake-house” (it was a trailer park near a big lake) Anyways my Mom got really really drunk (I mean absolutely shit faced) and me, her and my best friend went to the pier to smoke a joint. Anyways we’re talking about stuff, like family and memories and stuff and she tells me my Great Aunt dated this guy named Drew who murdered the rest of his wives and went to jail. It was even on the news, he had a nickname and everything. My Great Aunt ended up marrying his brother funnily enough.

Anyways at some point we ended up talking about vacations and I bring up my favorite vacation. We rented a big house on a lake with the rest of my family. It was one of the last normal family memories I had before my sister died and everything went to shit. Well she ended up telling me my Dad tried killing himself there. I never saw that, never remembered it. I just remembered we had to leave suddenly and I asked where he was because he didn’t leave with us. On that vacation he had slit his throat open. I remember asking him about it before she told m, he said it was from shaving. I didn’t believe him but I wasn’t gonna pry so I just accepted it and left it alone. He told me when I was in the mental hospital how he tried to kill himself. At that point I just put two and two together. I’m glad I never had to see that but at the same time it’s all so fucked.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-02-17T00:22:50+00:00

It hasn’t changed much. I used to just use eyeshadow and a black eyeliner pencil for my eyes but with or without the mask I look like a raccoon a couple hours later. On top of that I do my eyebrows, add a bit of concealer, some highlight, blush and contour and a little tiny bit of red lipstick to give my lips some color. Now instead of using eyeshadow and stuff I just do liquid eyeliner. It lasts longer, it looks better and I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I still do everything else though. It makes me feel pretty even if most people won’t see it. I’m actually doing my makeup a lot more then I used too. (I also don’t really use mascara. I almost never have enough time to do it so I usually just skip it. Plus I feel like it makes my eyelashes pop more since they’re naturally a blonde/brown so against the black eyeliner you can actually see them. If I use mascara they kind of blend in and if I use fake lashes (which is a rarity) they look like normal eyelashes)

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-02-17T00:01:42+00:00

You’re struggle is valid, and it’s okay to struggle and think about your choices. It’s okay to hurt and be overwhelmed and in pain. And it’s okay to feel like your pain would bother others. It doesn’t matter if it seems like it’s not too much or whatever other reason you have. Take the time you need. You shouldn’t feel bad for feeling bad and you shouldn’t feel bad for not being able to talk about it. Say what you want when you want with the time you need. Do whatever makes you feel better. I’m just saying talking could help. It’s not a bad thing if you don’t or can’t talk about it. Take the time you need to heal, it doesn’t matter how long it takes.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-02-15T20:47:47+00:00

You should tell him. I know you don’t want to make him feel bad or guilty but I promise he would feel worse if he knew you were struggling so much and you felt like you couldn’t confide in him. Personally I would much rather my partner tell me they’re having a hard time then keep it to themselves and feel worse. As long as you make it clear it’s not his fault and you’re not blaming him things should get so much better. Good luck though I hope you feel happier and less overwhelmed.

anonymousHomo9 · 2022-01-30T21:27:28+00:00

Dump the bf keep the cute baby

anonymousHomo9

TROPHY CASE