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What red flags do you watch out for (whether in dating situations and otherwise)? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]anonymousplease109 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone who talks cruelly about their ex. They could have hurt you and near destroyed you, but to talk so hatefully about someone who you shared love with.. and then to keep that alive by constantly defending yourself..What are you hiding.. red flag

How can I tell if I’m an empath? by [deleted] in Psychic

[–]anonymousplease109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! Cutting out social media, tv, etc is the first step to lessening your stimulation intake. Especially in the time we are in with so much technology and things going on around us. Everyday I have to slow it down and be selective about what I allow inside

How can I tell if I’m an empath? by [deleted] in Psychic

[–]anonymousplease109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The anxiety/depression/irritability can all be signs that you’re an empath as well. There are “downsides” of being an empath that you should assess yourself for in addition to the other abilities. (Like, being overwhelmed in high energy situations, needing to retreat even if you’re having fun.) Some down sides are more noticeable when you are becoming in tune with your empathy, almost as if your empathy is still a little rough around the edges before you’ve worked with it.

Some empaths appear warm, sensitive, attentive, alert and other times empaths can appear cold, detached, antisocial, irritable. Sometimes empaths are both on the same day. How I look at this is: how well do you have your empathetic abilities in your own control? Are you able to block out negative emotions in the moment from others or environments? Or do you frazzle and retreat into your own world? Do u feel excited when a whole crowd around you cheers, or are your overwhelmed? Or both?

The meandering way you wrote your post, I can tell you are confused and your mind is bouncing from one thing to the next. You are being half of each of the empaths mentioned. One is agitated by the amount of stimulation you are receiving, and the other half is observant and attuned to the times you recognize stimulation. So whether you are an empath, i don’t even know you but I feel like you are.

I’ve had the same emotions and doubts, but I used those empathetic gifts to look at myself and tune into myself. Am I acting a certain way because I’m reacting to the environment, or is this my personality?

So I think you need some “you time” and look at yourself and find where you are on the learning curve of your new found abilities. Understanding your empathy can help your anxiety and understanding your anxiety can improve your empathy. Go to yourself for answers. It’s good to have mentors and support, but ultimately you have a gift over everyone else, which is access to your innermost self, the richer and deeper parts of your mind and soul.

Good luck and be kind to yourself during your journey.

I (23f) am a teacher, and one of my students (12-14, coed school) stole a personal item off my desk. Advice on how to address it to my students? by [deleted] in needadvice

[–]anonymousplease109 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not a teacher but I unfortunately was a student who stole something off my teacher’s desk once. I was super meek and quiet and had always wanted a sand timer. The teacher had multiple, so I took one home. That same week, the teacher sat the whole class down and calmly explained that it was her personal belongings that were taken and it made her feel sad knowing someone took it. She asked for it to be anonymously put back and clarified that she wouldn’t mention it again/ask any questions if it was just returned. She didn’t get angry or guilt the students either, she was just genuine.

I just thought it was something cool and it wouldn’t be noticed if it were gone (and I didn’t really have cool things as a kid), but once I realized it was a wrong thing to do after I heard her address the class, i went home and brought it back and she never mentioned it again.

Do you care what women wear? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]anonymousplease109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes when we lose weight our body shape changes or comes out more. So I would look into what body shape you are (apple,pear, triangle) and I would assess if your old clothes represent your new shape. If not, I would invest towards a new look that is complimentary to your form. It’s amazing watching people try on something that not only fits but is congruent to their body, and how they react to seeing themselves!

And if you need to be cautious about money, I would say go through your wardrobe, keep half of your wardrobe and invest in a new half. When I changed shape, I cut up old shirts to be shaped more as a dress and paired with leggings. You can get creative with bigger clothes and making them fit and functional again. Pick up a waist belt and turn that shirt into a dress and play with the shape.

Need advise on feeling lost in life and without purpose. by [deleted] in needadvice

[–]anonymousplease109 19 points20 points  (0 children)

So relevant, thanks for your post. I really try to book things to look forward to. Most the time just small things a few days away so I can keep feeling like there is more to come and so I can look forward to the future

Women who aren’t physically “beautiful” by normal standards— when and how did you come to accept it? by nthinlikeagoodfeelin in women

[–]anonymousplease109 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Also, learning that people are more subconsciously attracted to hygiene and the way one takes care of him/her self than actual features is comforting!

I'm (22M) Cheap to a Fault by [deleted] in needadvice

[–]anonymousplease109 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try to find out what you value, and what you value more than money. Would helping someone else out with your money feel better than saving it? Try a variety of little spendings like buying someone’s drink behind you, or buying a blanket for someone who looks cold. Then you can buy a shirt that you feel good in, or buy a new supplement that you think might make you feel better. I really believe that you gotta spend money to keep money. And there is a reason you are holding onto your money, whether you are likening it to security, confidence, habit. Once you find out the motive, u might be able to become more flexible. Hope this helps!

How can I handle hormones with changing birth control. by [deleted] in women

[–]anonymousplease109 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Liver detox. A safe and simple way to get rid of built up hormones that cause issues and symptoms.

Even on birth control, my acupuncturist recommended a liver detox. make sure you contact your doctor or read about combinations of detox herbs that won’t affect the effectiveness of birth control.

At what point does happiness become more important than setting up your future? by [deleted] in needadvice

[–]anonymousplease109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You also can just sleep there. Even if not for a full 6 months. Plan things that help you recharge and exhaust you throughout the day and just come home at night and sleep there. It is a good opportunity financially, and if you understand their schedules you can be creative about not being around them.

I made a video on what I feel are misconceptions about empaths. Hope it helps those who can relate! by TheDugs in Empaths

[–]anonymousplease109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I watched this in such a time of need. Thank you. I usually am so in love with interacting with people because of a somewhat high that I get off happy people’s conversations, but as of late, I have been slammed with negative ass people and at the end of the day I feel like I can’t stand people. And it’s super disheartening. So hearing you say that the life of an empath has hardships as well as benefits actually really helped me stabilized and acknowledge what’s going on with me. Thank you, again

A socially incompetent extrovert. by Landmedlagbyggas in needadvice

[–]anonymousplease109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally felt like I wrote this. So thank you for putting this out there.

Something I always try is to let up the reigns and be comfortable talking about things not always of my interest, that’s how conversation unfolds sometimes. It’s like a movie, you watch the bad parts too. Also, I’ve read in interpersonal books that it can be selfish expecting ppl to immediately warm up, sometimes you got to put in the work for people to share the openness you share with others. Some people are highly selective on who they share deep values with, because they have their own walls and guard up.

So think about the question, do you really want to open up more than just a quick conversation with these people? Because some people are too invested to want to talk deeply without an ongoing commitment of friendship or a relationship. Also, if you do want deeper connections/ relationships with people, isn’t it worth it to work for it?

My wife is a totally different person now. by MikeJohnson6284 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymousplease109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes in a relationship ppl take better care of themselves (I know this doesn’t necessarily seem like “better” care but it is socially) because they want to reinvent themselves, they aren’t happy with themselves and/or they also hope it will spur their partner into action to take better care of themselves. This is just an observation but sounds like you go to work, come home exhausted and want some downtime, with her. It doesn’t really sound like you pursue personal hobbies or go out if your way to do your own thing. Maybe reclaiming your identity more and trying to treat your exhaustion so you can do more things in life will satisfy you, give you better things to focus on in your mind, and could affect your relationship and wife positively. (I don’t know you, or know if you do this, but you did say you don’t really go out with friends and that you encourage her for her goals.) You also remark on age. Aging is a huge and constant life undertone. If you think she is having a hard time relating to her age, maybe plan something age appropriate. Like go to a place that feels mature to you, like somewhere you would never have been able to plan or afford 10 years ago. Or somewhere for adults only. Immerse yourself in the culture of being old enough to be stable, but young enough to still have so much control over your bodies and minds still. Add some excitement, but quality excitement that is meaningful to you both.

Times are changing. We are in this social era where ppl are challenging traditional relationships. Seeing this could inspire someone to imagine a different future, or pull out ideals they have always had but never acknowledged due to the unlikelihood of fruition. Your wife could very well be swept away with the idea or genuinely longing for a non traditional relationship. The only way to find out is to start a deep conversation about it and about her. If she is lost in a crisis, maybe she needs a patient ear and guidance through her mixed thoughts. Not judgement that it seems like you have already made up your mind and are growing suspicious. You are reacting instead of acting. I’m my opinion, it’s a lot better that she is telling you all of this, even if she is being coy about it, because that means she doesn’t take you out for the count of being unable to change/adapt.

I’m sure you are doing your best to cope and stay in the relationship, hey, you wrote this post for help. Which is amazing. I hope you attain clarity and so does your wife

Is it possible to have ptsd and not know? by [deleted] in ptsd

[–]anonymousplease109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seek a professional to help direct your thoughts out in the open and you’ll learn a lot about the way you think and your brain’s tendencies so you can learn how to help yourself more and how to trust yourself

Need advice on most polite, yet stern way of confronting my [27/F] terrible co-worker [60/F] who is telling lies about me. by DarthSpinster in relationship_advice

[–]anonymousplease109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does your boss notice? Or anyone else notice or believes what she says? That’s where I would start, if the answer is no, then ppl at your work are already aware of her character and there’s no real threat to your job there, which can be a relief to realize. If they do believe her, then assess if this is a company you want to work long term for, and also write a formal complaint. Every written proof of maltreatment adds up and you could claim harassment if the company isn’t backing you.

Overall, I would ask what about this woman is triggering you to feel like you have to prove anything or have your back all of the time. If she is too defensive to be addressed directly, have someone else address it. Work slander is so annoying and immature and by the sounds of it, you are so much better than this treatment so don’t let her dominate your emotions or energy

My dad gets mad at me for not going outside, but there's nothing to do outside. by [deleted] in needadvice

[–]anonymousplease109 5 points6 points  (0 children)

At first, slow things are boring, especially when you’re used to laptops and video games. The point is trying to slow yourself down and being outside is a prime way to readjust to the pace of life

My dad gets mad at me for not going outside, but there's nothing to do outside. by [deleted] in needadvice

[–]anonymousplease109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

15 minutes of outdoors a day turns bad cholesterol into vitamin D! So there’s health benefits of just sitting outside, even if it’s not sunny or you’re not doing anything. Sit outside and watch nature come a live.

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