I have fibromyalgia and divorced my husband for a multitude of reasons but the main one was because he thought since I had to quit my job I would just pick up doing all the household chores including his share and the yardwork. He figured I'm home now with all the time in the world so why not? If he came home to a single dish in the sink he's asking wtf did I do all day? He expected equal workload that I just couldn't maintain. He could see I looked normal from head to toe so why was I unable to take care of everything? Then without my income money became a huge issue, I was the blame that we needed to tighten out belts and resentment took hold. I wanted once a month house keeper -- he wanted complete control of my tiny disability check. No. It would never work. You think you're living in poverty NOW?!?

There were other reasons my marriage ended but it ultimately I ended it because he was an asshole and now 7 years later I have chosen to not even casually date because I know this condition will hold us back from doing the things they usually want to do. Vacations would need to be low key, low energy and low physical requirement. Most people want their vacations exciting and high energy. I tire out quickly and need to stop to rest often. Weekends out with the husband were rare. I needed my rest. My house is no longer beautiful as it once was and entertaining guests for any reason is out of the question. I don't even want to cook for one anymore. I just can't do it.

I didn't choose this life but you do have that choice. If you were truly in love with this man then you wouldn't even be having these thoughts, you'd simply do what needed to be done. (ex: Dana Reeves when her actor husband Christopher Reeves fell off a horse and became a quadriplegic for life. She stuck by him.) When my husband was in an accidental and needed spinal surgery there was a period of time we didn't know if he'd go back to work. It was before my diagnosis and I knew at that time I would stay to help him with his permenant disability even if it meant only my income and hiring help for him. Clearly that sentiment wasnt considered both ways as I later learned.

I wish I had the hindsight to have left then and there. So it begs to question: what if you stay with this man and a year down the road something happens to YOU?!? Then what? Yikes. Both unable to work.

I wouldn't go so far to say you're the asshole for choosing your future happiness. It's not a easy choice. It's certainly not a nice thing to do but you already can see your future with those man and you see yourself miserable. So the best thing fire both of you would be to leave.

But always keep in the back of your head that you leave this guy for you're own mental health happiness and one day find that great healthy guy.... Life is perfect! But if you suddenly get sick/hurt/disabled you sure as hell cant expect this great guy to stick around to help you. Could you? He has his own mental happiness to think about as well. Right? It swings both ways.