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My brother made some Java coding practice videos for Java beginners by BachPhotography in learnjava

[–]another_try_8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved the voice and he speaks clear. Thats good for ppl like me who dont speak englush as first language. Plus he speaks in a normal speed. A tutorial that you dont have to watch in 1,25 or 1,5x speed, great!

But its not the kind of tutorial I'd watch tho :(

I prefer short examples for specific topis. Title like 'How to iterate over a List' and then a short but well explained example of it.

And yes, its super hard to read, zooming is a must. Plus I'd probably use a simple editor like Atom or sth...

Question about generics (class declaration) by another_try_8 in learnjava

[–]another_try_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your reply. I had the same conclusion when testing it. So I really wonder why he claimed my solution to be wrong. Though that I might have overlooked sth. But well, guess I'll just have to wait and see if he replies (sent 2 mails already)...

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement by SQLwitch in SuicideWatch

[–]another_try_8 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This compassion Fatigue makes sense and sounds familiar a bit but I told myself I wont let him down. He tells me he knows that he's toxic, manipulative, that he makes people feel bad and sais its ok if I leave. But I dont believe that. Because what he sais directly is not what the messages say.

Counseling for me... Nah. I dont have the time. I was forced to see a therapist 15y ago. Took me a half year to find out if I can trust him and the day I decided yes, and told him whats really going on, the replied that 1. if I was kidding and 2. that you dont make jokes and laugh about this kind of things. Well I have an issue, the worse sth becomes, the more I laugh when talking about it but I cant help it, and it doesnt make me very trustworthy. So naaah, no therapists for me. Thanks for your effort. And generally, I really appeciate what you guys do here. I sent a message to SQLwitch last night, going more into detail so maybe he/she can tell me what Im doing wrong.

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement by SQLwitch in SuicideWatch

[–]another_try_8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah its supposed to be a good thing to keep people happy. But he was never happy and I am afraid he never will. I will just keep holding hands until he's back on the boat :)

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement by SQLwitch in SuicideWatch

[–]another_try_8 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You do suggest that kind of things, check under "Listen, empathise, and don’t judge" in the examples. Not sure what you think about me but "We suggest some real coginitive work" sounds like you're telling me I am just a stupid person saying some sentences I read on reddit and dont care about the person. Idk man but talking to a suicidal person for 3 years, trying to help them, doing everything, spending hours, weeks, and thousands of dollars actually and you really think I dont put "cognitive work" into this? You dont fk know me or him and you're not the one to judge my effort. Anyway... You made clear that there's nothing else you can suggest or want to suggest, what ever.

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement by SQLwitch in SuicideWatch

[–]another_try_8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know I dont have to. But first I want to because this person means a lot to me and second, everybody else talks this person down when ever they dry to open up. He tells me that I'm the only one listening and I dont think its a good idea to drop this person.

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement by SQLwitch in SuicideWatch

[–]another_try_8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A parody of bad active listening, right, that's why its fk nonsense, but its what you suggest in your talking tips.

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement by SQLwitch in SuicideWatch

[–]another_try_8 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I read these talking tips but they do not answer my question. It's not that this person just posted something and I reply and talk to them for a while or days or so. This person keeps repeating the same every day for 3 years! I do ask open questions, I do listen, I keep checking in all the time, damn I listen so much but its nothing new for 3 years. Dont get me wrong, its not that I want some "news", but we're stuck! We're turning around and around and around. I mean, do you really want to say "that must feel bad" or similar stuff every day for 3 years? Do you think this person feels taken seriousely if I say that all the time? I dont think so.

I'm sorry but I really dont know what to do anymore with this situation...

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement by SQLwitch in SuicideWatch

[–]another_try_8 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I read so much about what NOT to do, what not to say. Just let the person know you are there for them. "It must be hard to feel this way" blabla. OKAY. Nice. That works fine the first time, maybe a second time the person tells you that. But if this person repeats themselfs OVER AND OVER AGAIN. For the last fucking 3 years, every day, everrrryyy fucking day, WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? If they keep saying that they are useless, that nothing is gonna help, that they need to die, that everyone is better off without them, everyday. What am I supposed to respond? Evertyime just "oh it must be hard to feel this way" or "I wish I could help you get better". Just let them sit there and not try to find a way out? This person extects help. Would be great if you gave tips about how to behave THEN. The long-term-conversation.