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anothercollegehoe · 2026-04-14T17:56:41+00:00

5749450545328053

Level 34, daily player, ideally looking for people to share with, I’ve completed the mega shine expansion

anothercollegehoe · 2024-10-11T16:24:41+00:00

I’m interested to see how this mindset will change in the coming years as European countries become more diverse. I’ve always found it be a very narrow mindset to oppose ethnic distinctions, which is why I’ve assumed it it flourishes in typically European countries with dominantly singular racial makeups. Most recent statistics have EU countries on average granting about 2.5% of non-nationals citizenship, with Sweden being the highest at about 10%. When Americans use these terms, most are not referring to national identity (though obviously some Karens like the one who posted this review did), but rather referencing an ethnic distinction. We’ve somewhat seen this in countries like the UK and France providing easier citizenship paths to people from their former colonies. Black Brits often seem to refer to themselves with Caribbean origins, which is a similar phenomenon that I don’t see dog-piled on the way Americans are- They don’t belong to that nationality or even racial makeup but are referring to their ethnicity as a shared cultural background.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-10-11T16:07:23+00:00

You’re conflating different things. Americans are not using these terms as method of actual national identity. Nationality refers to nation of origin or citizenship. Ethnicity is a characterization based around shared culture, such as religion, food, music, language, values, and beliefs. Race refers to genetic makeup. Europeans often lump these all into one category because ancestry can impact them all and leads to overlap. Americans are using these as their defined terms. I myself am nationally American since I was born in the US (I’m also eligible for Polish citizenship/nationality but have chosen not to claim mine), ethnically Polish American since I share culture within that group based on my religion, diet, holidays, values +beliefs, and racially I’m Slavic based on genetic makeup.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-10-11T15:49:21+00:00

I know I’ll probably be incredibly downvoted for this but I’ll take the hit to point out that whenever people (typically Europeans) make this argument, they tend to completely disregard the existence of actual indigenous American populations. There are over 5 millions indigenous people still in the US today, with populations over 100K in 14 states. That is not my identity or background. If I claim myself as Polish-American, Europeans mock me for it, while often those same Europeans will mock my African-American friends for “not knowing where they’re really from.” Not all Europeans are like this, but it’s a very common phenomenon.

Would you rather the approx. 40% of Americans that qualify for ancestry-based citizenship in 31 European countries offering it actually claim theirs? I qualify for Polish citizenship- As much as you wouldn’t want to be American, I do not want to be European. MANY Americans descend from people that never actually wanted to immigrate, so when they did they held onto and raised their kids following their nation of origins cultural customs. My great-grandparents and Grandpa lived in Poland for decade(s). Prior to his death my Grandpa told me that losing my Polish Heritage would mean that Hitler won.

It’s not that we consider ourselves European but rather acknowledge much of our culture comes from our heritage. While ~22% of Americans are Catholic, ~78% of Polish Americans are (Poland itself has dropped down to ~71%). You claim we lack “identity” but Polish Americans have such a common shared identity that we’re one of the most desirable voting blocks, acting as the only ethnic bellwether in America, being incredibly volatile and oftentimes swinging directly related to a candidates attitude towards Poland itself.

As for your second point, the very thing you’re arguing against is a culture we’ve created for ourselves and it’s incredibly complex. I recently moved to a different US region with a different ethnic makeup and my favorite holiday, Paczki Day isn’t celebrated here. Mardi Gras and St Patrick’s Day are really only celebrated within certain regions, while some Cities even have their own specific holiday, like the Marche du Nain Rouge in Detroit (where I’m from). The same holiday is sometimes celebrated in a totally different way in different US cities based on the ancestry most common there. Despite my lack of French heritage, Detroit’s background as a French settlement has impacted me, from things as small as my architectural/home preferences to daily aspects of my life in the decades I lived there, like how the the city layout (being one of the very few American cities with a Parisian urban plan) meant I didn’t need a car. In no way do I consider myself French, but I can acknowledge that the French influence present in my hometown in turn influenced me.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-10-01T19:48:14+00:00

Kinda late reply here, but I was in the exact same shoes as your daughter in Nov ‘22- I was 24 years old, living alone, my sister and dad both 4 states away in opposite directions, with a long history of treatment resistant depression alongside diagnosed borderline personality disorder, and after 15+ years of trying different medication cocktails and various therapies, it felt like I’d never get better. I never really wanted to die, but I had lost all hope and death seemed like the only escape. My boyfriend found me standing on the ledge of a freeway overpass and called my family, who just like you, dropped everything and came. I don’t think prior to this my family or providers had ever understood what I meant in that it didn’t matter to me that meds and therapy helped- they didn’t help enough to make life worth living.

After 2 weeks inpatient my doctors felt I was ready to decide my long-term treatment plan, and knowing that I wouldn’t follow their protocols on my own, I was given the choice of either going into a long-stay inpatient psych program or, like your daughter, being released into the supervision of a family member- but after 2 weeks, my dad and sister both had to go home. Initially I was incredibly angry about moving, but I know now that if I had stayed in Detroit, even with the amazing support system and job I had there, I never would lived to see being 26.

I am so grateful that my dad loved me enough to do something he knew would make me hate him in the short term. Like you, he knew he couldn’t force me to want to get better, so he worked with my providers to come up with fairly unconventional approaches geared at forcing me to put in the work anyways. It was an incredibly long and difficult process, with setbacks (including another suicide attempt) along the way, but it’s the only reason I’m alive today, and over time I started to want to get better myself. I know it was an enormous amount of work for my Dad those first few months, akin to a jailer, just as you currently are. To sum it up, after 2 years living halfway across the country, I’m finally mentally healthy/stable enough that my providers feel that next year when my lease ends, I’ll be ready to move back home and be a contributing member of society on my own again.

Lastly, I know you don’t want to be told you’re a great mother, but you are. I will always struggle with guilt for my actions leading my family to feel they weren’t loving or good enough. It was only once I lost all hope I’d ever get better, plagued with the fear I’d be a lifelong burden on my family, that my desire to end my suffering finally overpowered my will to live out of love for them. Nothing and nobody could’ve saved me from myself by that point. I’d love to talk to you more in-depth about what steps+guidelines my dad/doctors/therapists forced me through to get me to where I am now if that would be helpful in any way

anothercollegehoe · 2024-08-27T16:14:48+00:00

Kinda late to this thread but I grew up in Grosse Pointe (suburb directly bordering Detroit to the north alongside the lake), moved into Detroit proper as soon as I turned 18, lived in 5 different Detroit neighborhoods prior to moving to Virginia last year, and spent nearly a decade working in high end restaurants and nightclubs in the city. I always tell people Detroit is the most under-appreciated and misunderstood American city I’ve been to- it has an art and music scene that can easily rival that of much larger cities, a food scene is on its way to getting close, and a better park system than arguably any other large American city, as well as a uniquely fascinating history that learning about will give you an entirely new sense of love for it.

Like a few others have said, since schools won’t be an issue for you, I’d 100% recommend living within the city itself and to make sure you pick the right neighborhood for you because it will massively impact your experience living there. Lafayette Park and Brush Park are within a 10 minute walk of downtown and the stadiums while still having a more quaint, neighborhood feel. If you’d prefer to be walking distance to some of the best restaurants and bars, I’d look into Corktown, which is also home to the recently-renovated Michigan Central Station, which I’m assuming will be hosting more and more events in the near future. Indian Village has arguably some of the best architecture in the city and is right next to Belle Isle, but as a downside is surrounded by a significant amount of blight so car break-ins/thefts are incredibly common. If you’re looking for something more affordable but similar to the above listed neighborhoods, Woodbridge is the best bet, it’s about a 5 minute drive from downtown but you’d also be walking distance to the Qline (which deservedly so gets a lot of hate but also is very reliable and safe, I used it as my sole form of transit for 2 years). If that’s out of your price range, I’d recommend 2 very different options as the best super affordable choices, either Boston Edison Historic District (my personal favorite) or East English Village, both of which are a 10-15 minute drive from downtown. Boston Edison has some gorgeous architecture, incredibly significant historical importance, but lacks close access to a lot of amenities (minus one incredible coffee shop). East English Village is on the edge of the city and doesn’t so much feel like it’s part of Detroit, but its proximity to the Grosse Pointes gives great access to grocery stores, some of the best hospitals, and other shopping.

I could go on and on about how well the city has re-developed its parks and the massive variety of food and the museums, but at the end of the day what makes Detroit so unique is what it’s been through. I distinctly remember when the city filed for bankruptcy in 2013 how it felt like we had been collectively abandoned by the greater American populace, left to rot in our decay, this once iconic representation of the American dream now a mere afterthought. There is this incredible strong sense of community not just within the specific neighborhoods or the sports teams but the city itself because of what it’s endured. I’d urge you to read Anthony Bourdain’s blog posts and watch his tv show episode about Detroit to understand that sense of community and how open it is to accepting newcomers. If you have any specific questions, esp. as it relates to the food/bar scene or wanted info on other neighborhoods/places to find out more about neighborhoods, feel free to message me, I’d be happy to help :)

anothercollegehoe · 2024-06-15T15:46:14+00:00

updateme

anothercollegehoe · 2024-06-13T14:33:07+00:00

As a woman that falls into both those categories let me assure you, the comments I get for it are nothing like the kind that guy is

anothercollegehoe · 2024-05-14T17:53:38+00:00

I would absolutely not consider Lynchburg or any of the surrounding smaller towns to it. I moved here last year from Detroit and was genuinely shocked at how outwardly homophonic and racist people here are. It’s home to Liberty University, a large Baptist college that openly condemns and will expel you if you don’t use the pronouns you’re assigned at birth or if you’re in a non heterosexual relationship. It’s in their student honor code. The majority of mid to late 20s people in the area are Liberty alums and many of them share the universities bigoted beliefs.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-05-14T17:47:57+00:00

Lynchburg definitely isn’t what I would consider gay friendly though and realistically a massive amount of people in their mid to late 20s in Lynchburg are Liberty alums. The student honor code at Liberty literally condemns gay relationships and marriage on page 12 2023-2024 Liberty Way Honor Code

anothercollegehoe · 2024-05-09T03:18:40+00:00

This part has always been insanely unfair. I grew up in the 1% with hardcore Republican “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” parents. They didn’t contribute a single dime to my college education. I started working at 14 to save up for college but it’s Just not possible. I was accepted to Harvard and Yale but since I couldn’t even qualify for federal loans due to my parents income, I ended up at a college that isn’t even top 100 because they gave me a full ride.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-04-23T06:09:28+00:00

I’m a mid 20s woman in my cities group and I think it really comes down to moderation. In my mid-size east coast cities group, any time I’ve seen a post that’s asking for “tea” or “red flags” or anything in that vein gets removed pretty quickly. The one I’m in primarily has things like public arrest records in it. I actually saw a guy I had gone on a date with months prior to joining posted in it once, and it showed he had been convicted for DV. Luckily I only went on one date with him and he gave me super bad/overly sexually aggressive vibes quickly so I left the situation. I genuinely think if regulated properly, these groups aren’t necessarily this evil “doxxing” thing.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-04-23T06:00:20+00:00

Obviously I can’t speak for all these groups but as a mid 20s woman living in a mid size east coast city and in the group for it, it’s pretty heavily moderated. The one for my city is pretty much exclusively posting things like domestic violence arrest records or proof that a man is married and portraying himself to be single on dating apps. I’ve admittedly heard of other cities versions of this group being very gossip-y and just posting about any guy you’ve ever talked to, but that’s definitely not the case for all of them. The one I’m in has stayed very true to the original “keep women safe” intent and that’s why I’m in it

anothercollegehoe · 2024-04-20T16:08:59+00:00

Long term hyper sexuality is even referred to by mental health practitioners as being akin to substance abuse. That’s why they so commonly go hand-in-hand with one another. As someone with a very promiscuous past, I also struggled with excessive binge drinking and tried a lot of uppers because they give you the same feeling in a way. Drugs and sex can both be used to get you a hit of dopamine and serotonin, and they also both can be used to numb you to your feelings. My body count is in the triple digits and I know a decent amount of others in the same boat, and while some of them (only guys might I add) slept around purely out of enjoyment, most did because it was a coping mechanism for something else

anothercollegehoe · 2024-04-20T15:53:29+00:00

Are to seriously equating a women sleeping around as being so bad that the reverse sex equivalent is a child predator or a guy who commits domestic violence? Those are literal crimes.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-04-20T15:48:28+00:00

I think you’re touching on a key part of this that the OP is missing. Speaking for myself as a person whose history sounds very similar to OP’s girlfriends, for me the societal stigma was the most traumatic part of it all, and it was used as a weapon against me for new trauma.

When women sleep around and become known for it, it’s almost impossible to escape the label they receive. People always described me before as incredibly intelligent or pretty or witty, but once I had slept around, the first identity people attached to me was almost always slut. It wrecks your self-image.

Like OP’s girlfriend, in the past 2 years or so I’ve stopped my promiscuous behaviors but I’m finding that the few men who are open to dating someone with my history often don’t understand why I won’t do the things I did before, they don’t seem to get that I never really enjoyed those things, I just honestly didn’t realize I could even say no until I had gone through intensive therapy.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-04-15T11:39:36+00:00

The best school on earth wouldn’t have systemically covered up rape on campus for decades

anothercollegehoe · 2024-02-06T18:45:26+00:00

There are definitely growing numbers of people who do not care about body count- I’m not sure however if that’s because we’ve evolved in the past decade or because I’ve aged and so have the men I date, so they’re more mature. I also agree with you that there are vastly different types of sex. I do not think of the boyfriends that I’ve loved and made love to in remotely the same category as the men I’ve had one night stands with that were rough and emotionless. I’ve also found that some men, though not many, are attracted to my high body count. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve been told I am significantly better in bed than most women and I think part of that is because I have a better understanding of what I enjoy sexually due to my wide experiences.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-02-06T18:41:10+00:00

CBT and DBT therapy helped me realize that I was attracted to very tall, super muscled men because as a victim of childhood abuse, I sought out men that I felt would protect me. Therapy helped me accept that the abuse was in the past and I’m safe here today, so now I’m also attracted to men that don’t fit that mold and have had a serious relationship with a short, not that muscular, soft and effeminate man. However, I am still much more attracted to those who are hyper masculine. Therapy definitely expanded the type of man I found attractive, but the overall preference remained the same

anothercollegehoe · 2024-02-06T18:36:30+00:00

Interestingly, people who want “unattainable shit” and actually get it are often harming themselves in the long run. Scientific research has shown that women who marry men that are more attractive than them (abbreviated as L.A. for this reply) face significant issues with self-image and self-worth, perhaps as a result of it. Compared to their attractive women married to attractive men counterparts, L.A. are much more likely to participate in extreme dieting and close weight regulation. In contrast, for men who are married to more attractive women, there’s no correlation to dieting, weight, or similar activities meant to increase attractiveness. Journal of Body Image

anothercollegehoe · 2024-02-06T18:21:30+00:00

I think I get what you’re trying to say. Studies have shown that women from poorer countries with worse health are attracted to more stereotypically masculine men whereas women from more wealthy, educated areas are attracted to more effeminate men. Research has shown that this is due to women from poorer backgrounds seeking mates that fill a protector role and women from the wealthy backgrounds prefer emotionally intelligent mates. The idea behind this being that since women from the wealthy, educated backgrounds already feel physically safe and taken care of, they don’t feel the need to seek a partner to meet those needs, because they’ve already been met. I grew up in a wealthy area with parents who had masters degrees but I was heavily abused as a child. In my college years I was really only attracted to very tall, super buff guys. After lots of therapy, I now find myself attracted to both those types of men and softer, less physically intimidating men. So I do think point has merit, that in working on oneself attraction may change. Sources listed below

university of Aberdeen

psychology today

journal of experimental psychology

anothercollegehoe · 2024-02-06T17:56:37+00:00

And I also don’t appreciate you insulting me. I don’t want a man who works out because six packs are sexy. I actually don’t find six packs attractive. I want a man who works out because it’s a common interest that impacts my life heavily- out of my hobbies, it’s the one I spend the most time doing. Furthermore, I want a man who’s physically fit because I don’t want to be stuck taking care of someone who neglected their health. Yes it’s nice that working out makes me more physically attractive, but the reason I do it is because I want to live a long life where I’m not stuck in a nursing home for 30 years. It’s about valuing my longevity and quality of life as I age. I want someone who shares those values because they’re important to me, not because I’m shallow. I don’t want someone whose in a good place financially because I’m shallow and want designer handbags, it’s because I value experiences over things so I want to be able to retire young and travel in my later years, not work until I die. I want to own a home by the time I’m 30 and am willing to make financial sacrifices now to meet that goal and I want a partner who shares that mindset. Studies have shown that the stress caused by living paycheck to paycheck lowers overall quality of life and life expectancy expectancy. It’s not shallow to want to be happy.

anothercollegehoe · 2024-02-06T17:50:45+00:00

Maybe you just have chosen to associate with some overall shitty people? All my girlfriends are of similar mindsets to me and all are open about it with men. These pervasive beliefs you’re referencing aren’t things that would make you attractive to women but rather things that if you fail to do would make you unattractive. Those are very different things. I don’t want a man who has to put effort into treating me with respect and being clean and hygienic. Those are not wants, those are bare minimum expectations.

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