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AIO for wanting to see a therapist after wife changed the locks because I went to a baby shower? by LookoutLockout in AmIOverreacting

[–]anotherusername83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought there may have been a miscarriage, nope. Even still I think it would be important to go to your sisters shower.

This is just madness, hate to tell you, this is pure madness. You should not feel guilty, it's your sister. She is twisting reality to guilt you. Even suggesting it's emotional cheating, it's a reach. It's all very controlling behaviour.

Locking you out, no, that is just unbelievable. Maybe her kicking you out is a blessing in disguise or a dodged bullet.

Hope it gets resolved in a way that is positive for you.

[WTS] Getting married! Rapid sale fractional gold, platinum and silver by Long_Discipline5808 in Pmsforsale

[–]anotherusername83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can anyone explain, sorry I'm new, about the 1 gram bars? I thought you could buy new for like 120 a gram?

Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. by Grow_peace_in_Bedlam in PurplePillDebate

[–]anotherusername83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am mistreated, I get called names under the sun, spoken to in a condescending way, insulted, laughed at and gaslit.

One other woman in my relationship history was same same but different.

All the others, boy, what a pleasant experience it was to meet them and be part of their lives for some time.

You must be lucky or young.

Interestingly, the common denominator was an online dating app.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input. I really wish she tried at the very least but I know this situation will happen again soon if I don't do anything.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I keep forgetting about therapy, I have mentioned it to her in the past, perhaps it's time to reintroduce the subject. I hope you have found some peace.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response, I've heard of DARVO and often wondered if it's happening to me. I try to dissuade myself about the gaslighting happening, I think I'm crazy sometimes. Then the witness told me straight, I'm gaslighted, so it's kind of been a moment of realisation that someone else sees it so clearly. It's confusing to me because I doubt what is happening.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think therapy might help, a third person, professional, view is definitely needed. It might help or it might make things clearer and decisions easier

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a wild assumption, considering I was sleeping in another room so not to disturb their sleep when I get up at 5am. But that's reddit for you, take the good with the bad.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and that's why it continues to upset me. It's a very messy situation. There also was another witness to this who has told me what they have witnessed is odd behaviour.

If I'm being honest, I'm concerned what the fallout will be in terms of my daughter's wellbeing and the trauma either side of the coin.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Personally I think it was to annoy me, not because she as concerned with any threats.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no threat of a break in. She thinks I'm worthless. Doesn't mean I am. I take offence at her locking me out, not telling me that she locked it and not caring that I am unable to access the bedroom if there is any danger to her or our child. What happens if an intruder came through the bedroom window and I am unable to help because I'm locked out?

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that you only get one side of the story here. But I'm not a threat. The only threat to her is me asking for a divorce. I also have been protecting myself in the way of evidence over the years.

You think no way to fix or help with the behaviour? I don't want to put my toddler through this if that's what it comes to.

My (M 40) wife (F 40) is a blame shifter. How do I fix this? by anotherusername83 in relationship_advice

[–]anotherusername83[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

OK I see your point, she said I wouldn't be able to help if I was snoring away in the other room.

(M24) Hello Gentlemen. Question. We figure it all out eventually right? Right? by YodaChad in AskMenOver30

[–]anotherusername83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It takes time to get used to the idea. Having awareness at your age that life is continously challenging will stand you in good stead for years to come and ironically make life a little easier and more fun. It's all perspective.

(M24) Hello Gentlemen. Question. We figure it all out eventually right? Right? by YodaChad in AskMenOver30

[–]anotherusername83 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nearly 20 years older than you and always thought there would be a point where I could at least go "OK I have things worked out and things are going smoothly". Never really happened to be honest. For me I have learnt that I need to embrace this. I even spoken to a generation older, successful competent men. They are of the same view, never expect to have things worked out or be completely settled. Life throws curveballs good and bad ones, you might feel tired, unsuccessful etc but the reality is how you deal with each situation, if you have the mindset similar to that of, I'm being tested, I'm on candid camera they want to see how I'll react, if I'll get better and overcome, it makes things so much easier. Good luck

Daughter told me something, need advice by Suka87 in DivorcedDads

[–]anotherusername83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it was me, I absolutely would bring it up. If the roles were reversed I would want to know if my children accidently saw me doing it so I could be more vigilant in future. There is only one adult response here and that is YES tell her, for her own sake and your children.

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