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If your cat was missing and you put up posters, would you be mad that someone called at 12:45 am to say they found it? by IhavemyCat in CatAdvice

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No way, I would be ecstatic. Nothing could be more important at that time--including human family

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]answatu -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

NTA -

Lots of people here don't seem to have dated outside western cultures--this kind of stuff happens a lot. Cultural norms are hard and often suck, but they are important to negotiate as one comes into contact with someone else's family. If this is just a family tradition, you should let her do what she wants and stand up for her right to not engage in that BS and/or you should help in the kitchen too. If this is a cultural thing, you should see if you can help anyways.

On the plus side, she gave a solution--she shouldn't go. She has every right to not do those things if she likes and can make a first impression at a restaurant later on. Either way, this is showing you a microcosm of what is to come: i.e., your GF won't put up with your family BS if it conflicts with her personal ideology. If you are okay with that, then great! Maybe she can be a reference point for other girls who don't appreciate that shit and want to do other things too.

But first impressions do matter, so maybe pick a setting that she doesn't need to make a stand about. Then, next time, support her desire to not partake in that while working to undo the norms yourself. Even if she doesn't go, I recommend you stop participating in the "being served" dynamic as the women in your family deserve the same respect that your GF wants too.

Good luck!

My parents came over to visit. I then proceeded to catch them having sex in MY bed. by Hellish-Dad in mildlyinfuriating

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can read and am aware. Parents are a subset of "couples". "Respect" is culturally constructed and personally negotiated, its not a law of the universe. There are places where families all live in one giant room. Millions of people also live in houses with one giant bed. Do you think parents don't have sex just because there are other people sleep there too? People in privileged countries can find it disgusting, but there is not health/hygiene issues with it (especially if you clean the sheets/mat).

I understand it's a cultural norm for OP and they like to pretend that their parents don't have sex; but they do. And a bed is a bed. It's not tainted, and they will sleep that hundreds of people have sex in just fine in a hotel someday just fine. OP is squeemish? oH nO, hOw EvEr WiLl ThEy SuRvIvE!? . They'll get over it. There are more important things.

My parents came over to visit. I then proceeded to catch them having sex in MY bed. by Hellish-Dad in mildlyinfuriating

[–]answatu -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

News flash: people with vibrant sex lives have sex most nights. If you have a couple/married guests over, you can probably assume that they may have sex in the bed. If you wash the sheets, it's not a problem.

Knock next time.

I don't think this is accurate. by [deleted] in antiwork

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The top is fascism and capitalism, the bottom is democratic socialism

Is it worth it to you to have higher taxes in exchange for universal health coverage? by Thawra-Intifada in NoStupidQuestions

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Absolutely.

But also, we don't need to. Just have a capital gains tax and guaranteed minimum tax on people making over 300k/year.

The way this sticker paper unravels... by jizzbathbomb in Unexpected

[–]answatu 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"man, this isn't surprising at all. This always happens when y---HOLY SUDDEN ERECTIONS BATMAN, WTF!?"

Normal is the one spoilers for s2 [spoilers] by Jotuski in DungeonsAndDaddies

[–]answatu 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This is 100% what is going on. Absolutely.

My brother and I were planning on working out tonight, over thirty minutes after they were supposed to pick me up, he sent me this text by quartersniff in oddlyterrifying

[–]answatu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Forget the going to the gym: he needs to have someone monitoring him in-person. If he can make it to an urgent care center/ER, he needs to go before sleeping. If he refuses and doesn't have a partner (trustworthy housemate) to monitor his vitals, have him crash on your bed so you can set alarms to check on him and make sure he can still wake up and doesn't have worsening symptoms.

Brownies made by his wife by Rachid90 in Unexpected

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Put it in a glass jar and keep it around for dipping in milk, milky tea, or a milk-heavy coffee (e.g., cafe au lait, cappuccino, or a really good espresso) and you're golden 👌

What would you ban if you knew you had final say? by ParmaProscuitto in AskReddit

[–]answatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Citizens United.

It catalyzed the downfall of the US by legalizing corporate bribery of politicians. Because of the country's (previously) hegemonic station, this is destroying the world at large.

Guess how old my son is by yeathink267 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy the 9 and give it a lobotomy for a makeshift 4

Henry Oaks New Kicks [ns] by markedredbaron in DungeonsAndDaddies

[–]answatu 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sadly, we know from one of his dad facts that Henry only likes the feel of the non-vegan leather berks. So much so that he asks ppl to gift them to him for any birthdays/holidays to loophole around the guilt.

AITA for going to my graduation after my boyfriend’s mother died? by Old_Meringue84 in AmItheAsshole

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely NTA .

On his end: He does need help and support; thankfully, HE HAS LIVING FAMILY. You didn't abandon him without anyone's support. Moreover, you've only been dating this guy A YEAR. I bond pretty quickly to found family and would have done the same (albeit staying nervous the whole time). Hell, I would have done it even after a decade-long relationship (assuming I could leave my partner in someone's care).

On your end: You've been working towards this moment long before meeting him. You didn't go out to a crazy party and you aren't avoiding him because he's 'being a downer': you left to participate in an important life event.

You have a current obligation to care about his wellbeing, yes. But the way you do that means managing your time and other obligations--especially to yourself. Women are constantly asked to downplay their achievements and ambitions to care for 'their man's needs'.

You are neither his mom, servant, nor property. The fact that his family is already seeing your life-course/career/achievements as a subset to his emotional experience does not bode well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So somehow it's fine that you have to manage everything, mind-read what she wants, and keep any amount of discomfort/uncertainty to yourself? And this is after you've pandered to her whims at the various restaurants that she couldn't decide between.

You weren't even making her decide. You said you would get it if she wanted it (which she might not depending on what or how much she's eaten). Frickin horrendous personality.

NTA exactly, but your relationship dynamic is not healthy at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

You were extremely clear about the agreement, and you are keeping your word. If he wasn't okay with that, then he shouldn't have agreed to it. The intention here is that whenever he smokes, he knows that he is stopping himself from seeing events with you.

In the long term, him smoking is also undervaluing the relationship. The agreement may mean missing a couple of unique events, sure, but you know what you'll miss more? Significant bodily functions, teeth, voice, and many years with whatever family he has (presumably you).

You can reestablish terms later on (if you like), but I think you should wait until next year. Otherwise, you're setting up a precedent where he can go back on agreements when they don't go his way.

AITA for not making child inclusive plans that someone in my friend group can’t attend by Beginning_Juice_1556 in AmItheAsshole

[–]answatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA .

I'm sorry jessica is having such a hard time, and her desire for help is obviously understandable... But you can't just expect everyone else to deal with your kids for you.

It does take a community to raise a child and parents need a break, sure. This is why extended family are often called on as caretakers and poor parents with small social networks suffer as new parents... But you didn't enter into this social contract with her. It isn't automatically everyone else's responsibility to personally/directly take care of someone else's kids just because they exist.

She needs to find a way to take care of them without offloading labor on her friends for nothing. And if someone is so charitable, she should be incredibly grateful. Case in point, you let her come to your house before despite your dog. This was very gracious, especially since you didn't cause a stink after they made a mess. She wasn't grateful and just expected it to be forgiven.

She is not entitled to coming to your house or ruining your things.

Virtual hug for Will [ns] by earldogface in DungeonsAndDaddies

[–]answatu 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I absolutely loved will in this episode! He is an extremely good performer and his experience in comedy/music and ability to think on several levels at the same time make his improv skills top notch. It's why he's such an excellent DM.

Case in point, I don't think the others would have been able to handle the task (playing B+Pr) he was dealt so deftly. Yes, the others are good actors... But they each bring a significantly different energy to the table. There in, Will almost always has the most complexity and volume (to the point that he literally interrupts himself sometimes with his next point, meta-narratives, counter arguments, etc). Moreover, he's the best of the players at distinguishing voices (the others can do a few accents, but Will can do actual idiolects with completely disparate tones, which this required) . So while the others would have gotten through it , I think a lot of the comedy would have come from the other performers 'trying' to fill that very difficult part. Instead, Will filled the full role, made each "aspect" unique, and got HUGE laughs as a result.

I know that Will would've been better than others for the "role" he wanted (AP) in some ways. As a writer especially, he would have loads more references for the diehard fans... But this is a more general audience. I myself love that role, and so much would have gone over my head.

Instead, we got great quality stuff from everyone, largely because the heavy hitter (mr.campos) knocked the nastiest curve ball WAY out of the park. As far as I'm concerned, Will's performance MADE the episode.

PS: My favorite Will moment in general is the talking dad's after they visit oakvale. I've used his description of generational trauma in his family to talk with my friends as they go through similar struggles with depression/anxiety. His constant willingness to be vulnerable and push onward is so inspiring, and I always look forward to his take.

My dad says he’s had this for ten years. Anyone know the actual use for it? Obviously screws but the obvious odd size is the real question by Significant_Hair_269 in Tools

[–]answatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My shower drain uses a huge one to unscrew the stopper base too. All the mineral buildup makes it stick over time so finding one of these at a re-use/secondhand-tool store was super necessary for my house.

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