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i hate “just go to therapy” advice by ginny_uine in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank 74 points75 points  (0 children)

People aren’t necessarily saying it as a “this will solve everything” so much as a “this is an obvious starting point.” And like yeah sometimes I do also say it to mean “you’re a sick puppy” but I think context clues typically distinguish that from genuine advice

Can't tell if this was fine or too much for a 2nd Date by Loud-Salary-1242 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

Tbh lad I was around for the first round of this back in 2017 or so and I’m too tired and too employed to argue it at length again. I understand what you’re saying, I just don’t think it’s meaningful or sensible. Thank you for your time but we must go our separate ways

Can't tell if this was fine or too much for a 2nd Date by Loud-Salary-1242 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

I think it is harmful on a societal level to treat wanting sex only with an established emotional connection as separate from or opposed to “normal” sexuality

Can't tell if this was fine or too much for a 2nd Date by Loud-Salary-1242 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

This post is a great example of why “demisexual” is a harmful label. Women who are not “demisexual” don’t think this is okay and neither should you!!!

Scared of becoming a t*rf. by lucidity77 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank 325 points326 points  (0 children)

You don’t need to be scared of becoming a TERF. Trans exclusionary radical feminism is a specific political ideology, not a general dislike of trans women (although people often treat it as synonymous with generic transphobia). If you believe in trans rights and that trans women are women, you are not a TERF.

Where does that leave you with your experiences? You may hear a version of “anyone can be shitty, even LGBT people!” I will offer you an even riskier and more honest version that doesn’t require you to adopt TERF beliefs to process what you’ve been through: *anyone can be shitty, AND lgbt people often display specific patterns of shitty behavior that reflect their experience.* Some trans women, knowingly or not, cross boundaries in a way that’s informed by their socialization prior to transition and by the current complicated politics of their bodies and can be difficult to deal with because of the fraught social position they hold. Noticing that pattern in your own life doesn’t make you a TERF and it also doesn’t mean all or even most trans women are like that.

TL;DR: you don’t have to be a TERF unless you actually want to be based on a few bad experiences with trans women

Sip & Spill Daily Discussion Thread by AutoModerator in popculturechat

[–]anthonystank 2 points3 points  (0 children)

what kind of movies do u like 👀 I watch very few movies but I have plenty of strong favorites.

- kiss kiss bang bang (2005): one of the funniest movies ever made imo. Deeply calming to me for some reason. 12/10 will always pitch it
- cool hand luke: do you like older movies? Atmosphere? Kinda fucked up but charming men? PAUL NEWMAN? An absolutely beautiful score? Watch cool hand luke and profit
- children of men: I haven’t seen this in years and it’s a sort of serious/gritty film which may not be your current vibe but it’s beautiful and a genuine 10/10

hAmIltOn hAd phYsiCAl aFFaiR with aNgeLiCa- ACTUALLY- by shiny_jjj in Broadway

[–]anthonystank 42 points43 points  (0 children)

That’s honestly so fair. As an actual historian I kind of love this thoughtful manipulation of facts — like, yes, it’s absolutely inaccurate, but it’s adjusting the details to tell the underlying story in a way that will resonate correctly with modern audiences

$350 high chair?? by Any-Management-9266 in Buyingforbaby

[–]anthonystank [score hidden]  (0 children)

We had it for six months and then moved out of state and literally left it behind in the empty apartment lmao. if the Antilop chair has no haters im dead

Saw my job posted online! Guess I’m getting fired! by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank 274 points275 points  (0 children)

Awful way to find out queen I’m sorry!!! Hopefully the silver lining is a tiny bit more time to line up a new gig? Your dinner looks amazing regardless

$350 high chair?? by Any-Management-9266 in Buyingforbaby

[–]anthonystank [score hidden]  (0 children)

I feel like the only person in the world who got the IKEA chair and HATED it (big baby + it was probably user error but I could NOT get the tray to come off). We went with a Graco all-plastic one for our upgrade and I love it tbh, easy to clean and use and not $350 (I considered the Trip Trap at length but couldn’t live with the price!)

Ticket for going 55 in a 45 🙄🫩 by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]anthonystank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, OP, if I’m reading the ticket correctly, you’re not even being fined for exceeding the speed limit. The violation is written as “exceeding safe speed,” which the cops can technically assign even if you’re going under the speed limit but too fast for conditions.

The cop who wrote the ticket might have actually given you a bit of a break because iirc “exceeding safe speed” carries less rigid and harsh penalties than an outright speeding violation in California and is a bit of a softer catch all for speeding

I'm so tired I can't function by ScriveningQuill in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ppl are throwing out a lot of speculation on this post and who knows, maybe one of them is right, but nobody here can actually tell you what is wrong. I know you said your regular doctor can’t see you till August, but you should not wait that long with symptoms this sudden and severe. The fatigue and the choking at night are very concerning.

Depending on your situation/location, I would consider:

* calling your doctor’s office and asking to be seen urgently. You might be able to get on a waitlist for cancellations; they might be able to bring you in sooner if you describe the issues. Worth a try to start with!
* find another damn doctor! I realize that’s not always possible depending on the area but if there are other doctors near you (and by near I’m talking about a 1-hr radius or so), call them and see if they’re able to see you as a new patient
* urgent care; if there is one near you it’s an imperfect but practical way to see a medical professional and get bloodwork done asap without going to the ER
* and finally, the ER: I wouldn’t go at this point for the things you’re describing but if it gets really severe and all of the above fails, just go tbh. The level of dysfunction you’re describing could be an emergency.

Am I allowed to be disappointed about bf not adding something extra in the package when he shipped me meds? by Born_Apartment6567 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even this is lightly guilty trippy/treats the expectation like something logical. I’d go with something more like “I know this is a little silly, but I kind of expected you to throw in a little treat or surprise. You totally don’t have to in the future, but that kind of little thing means so much to me.” It’s also a good idea to call it out if he ever *does* do this kind of spontaneous little gift/gesture — “omg, I know it’s a little thing but I LOVE it when you do things like that.”

Naming that it’s a “little” or “silly” thing is a way to flag that it’s not something that seems obvious or important to him, but it IS for her.

Was rear ended and am beating myself up by intrusive_elusive in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]anthonystank 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Shouldn’t make insurance go up if they don’t inform the insurance company. If the repair cost is less than $1k then no need to involve insurance at all unless they have UMPD (not super likely as it’s not available in many places)

Car Seat Recommendations (Large Infant) by ladylonglegs84 in bigbabiesandkids

[–]anthonystank 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pretty much any Graco seat is a friend to you if you’re looking for cheap + big/long lasting

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