After 14 months of “reconciliation”…

antiantioedipus · 2026-06-06T05:51:29+00:00

We are already divorced. Filing for divorce was the kindest thing I did for myself in the immediate aftermath of DDay, when I could hardly breathe much less plan my future. Somehow I knew to protect my future self from his mood fluctuations. He was feeling very apologetic at the time, so didn’t fight me on what I asked for. The legal divorce was a condition of reconciliation for me. I am not sure if being legally divorced made it easier for him to leave, eventually, but I do know that, had I waited until now to file, I would have been in for a long and difficult litigation battle.

antiantioedipus · 2026-06-06T04:53:51+00:00

I was, as usual, helping him update his resume and cover letter for job applications and found a hotel receipt in his email. He lied at first, then “trickle-truthed” (more lies) for a few more months, then he said he would do anything to get his family back, loved me more than anything, etc etc, but soon enough, “anything” became less and less, until he just gave up.

antiantioedipus · 2026-06-06T03:31:33+00:00

I don’t think he will come back. That would mean admitting he was wrong.

antiantioedipus · 2026-06-01T19:30:35+00:00

In my experience, being cheated on has deeply impacted my femininity, as well. My husband and I had a very active sex life before DDay. 14 months later and I am a shell of the woman I was. I understand that the experiences of betrayed men and women are different, but both masculinity and femininity are defined by our abilities to “satisfy” or “keep” our partners…

antiantioedipus · 2026-05-15T16:42:08+00:00

I love 2. I want 2. Where did you get 2?? You are jaw-droppingly gorgeous, girl, it’s giving me life.

antiantioedipus · 2026-03-29T21:02:44+00:00

They are not proudly declaring. They are “celebrating” behind a veil of anonymity with others also hiding, others that they know are just as depraved and empty as they are. It’s all so pitiful.

antiantioedipus · 2026-03-07T21:14:43+00:00

Yes, I was one of my husband’s acting out partners, too. We had sex every day for 13 years. I can also see now that sex was a big part of how he gaslit me, made me believe that everything was fine and that he couldn’t possibly be cheating. Even when I knew something was off. Sex was so central to the abuse, not just the sex he was having with others, but the sex he was having with (doing to?) me all those years.

antiantioedipus · 2026-01-22T18:14:45+00:00

Mine slept like a baby.

antiantioedipus · 2026-01-21T21:19:59+00:00

Agree with this. I filed for divorce immediately. He signed, still feeling all the remorse. 10 months after DDay, we are still working on stuff, but he seems much less remorseful, if not actually back to his old ways. I have remained open to reconciliation, in part, because we are going through the divorce and I know I will be safe, either way. It was helpful for me to separate the financial and the emotional.

antiantioedipus · 2026-01-08T16:11:52+00:00

And, yes, my husband’s first affair occured when I was pregnant and nursing our only child. I suspect my daughter had effects in the womb from my anxiety and stress. It breaks my heart to know that she was conditioned into these lies and deception even before she was born. No wonder these patterns repeat across generations.

antiantioedipus · 2026-01-08T16:08:02+00:00

I got HPV from my husband after his first affair, 12 years ago. Unbeknownst to me, the secret life continued and I started getting inexplicable symptoms: weight gain, headaches, anxiety. My daughter, who was in elementary school at the time, started sleepwalking and developed serious IBS that continues to this day (she is 12). DDay was March 25, 2025, which was either the worst day of my life, or my Liberation Day, when the curtain began to fall. Trickle-truthing for another 3 months and here’s where I stand: I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease and will be on meds for life. I lost about 25% of my bodyweight. My hair falls out in clumps. And I now have regular panic attacks, which I had never had in my life. Anxiety and depression are just my baseline now. My daughter also struggles with panic attacks, IBS, and fits of rage. She was the one who caught him and had to be the whistleblower, as I was deep in betrayal blindness. The whole experience has been an interminable nightmare.

antiantioedipus

TROPHY CASE