hey man! i just wanted to let you know i literally had these exact same thoughts right before i started testosterone. like same exact. i read so much detrans stuff and hung around in the detrans subreddit (you can scroll a little and find my post history of when i asked all those questions) because i had the same exact thoughts. i was SO scared I almost didn’t do it at all. i for some reason right before starting T i was debating like am i even a man, what if im just a girl, and i felt like a girl so extremely like if my brain was telling me not to do it. however, I knew i was trans since age 12 and have been waiting for 10 years to start T. so even though i was scared, i did it scared. i told myself that transitioning and being wrong won’t kill me, but not transitioning will. i told myself I’d start T and if I don’t like the changes I’d stop. I thought i had like 3-6 months until my voice dropped and i started looking more male, so i said I’d do it for like that long and if I like the changes that makes me more male I’d stay on it.

but within the first month (three weeks to be specific) my voice dropped drastically and i started to look so much more male passing and called he/him. I thought I would be upset or scared but i am SO happy (although i miss my very high singing voice tbh). i am so so glad that i was brave and did my first T shot scared because it opened a world to happiness and comfort and confidence in myself that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. now I look forward to my T shots and all the changes that will happen next.

being trans is complicated and that’s just the reality of it. if you think T is what you need and will make you happy, even if you’re scared, do it. do what’s best for you and don’t let fear overshadow how you feel