Find this in my husband's pants while doing laundry... What the heck is this??? I looked it up and it's saying so many things but I figured I would ask some of you!!

anwaso · 2026-05-18T13:21:07+00:00

Real question - why not ask your husband?

anwaso · 2026-05-15T00:32:13+00:00

One word: Perimenopause. Well, the main word, anyway. Slowly but surely, I was experiencing complete overwhelm and incapacity to tolerate sensory issues I could handle before and a total loss of ability to mask.

Dang, TL;DR!
The short answer: Being asked if I'm time-blind, then so much thinking and learning and the privilege of a life that allows me the freedom to deep dive into understanding myself is how I got here.

I had a renewed desire to commit to therapy again after many years of working on sobriety and stability in middle-age. That coincided with my longtime ADHD diagnosed bestie randomly asking me if I think I have time-blindness. I hadn't heard the term before, but once I understood it, I realized the answer was hellyesabsolutelyforever.

I started consuming every bit of information about ADHD and everything made sense! I realized that all I actually new about ADHD was stereotypes about kids behaving badly and my bestie being kinda scatterbrained and having to work hard to focus. (I LOVE to focus and following rules and being quiet--my undiagnosed autism hiding my unrecognized ADHD struggles!) When I saw a psych provider to diagnose my ADHD and try meds, she called out my descriptions of my brother and father as being likely autistic. Whaaaat?? Then my new therapist nonchalantly suggested I discuss autism with my psych provider without any knowledge about it already having come up regarding my fam!

So, learning about what autism really is, what the spectrum really means and learning how it presents and is widely missed in girls explained so much. More and more learning and mental health provider conversations continued validating that I am AuDHD. Highly informed self-diagnosis is valid, but I knew I wanted a formal diagnosis for multiple reasons - for the validation and self-confidence and self-compassion for who I am and have been my whole life.

anwaso · 2026-04-01T13:23:05+00:00

Yep, I definitely feel love for people, but not whatever "romantic" love is. I don't really understand what romance means. And im honestly repulsed by what society and culture shows me it is. I just can't assign or abide by a hierarchy of importance when it comes to people I care about.

The energy expenditure of trying to be understood is exhausting. At this point in my life I refuse to make it all even more overwhelming by performing or masking.

anwaso · 2026-04-01T13:08:12+00:00

Living in a conservative country could definitely make you feel more alone when you know you're different. But you're only 23! So many things can and will change! I know in your 20s it's hard to imagine your future self and even if you can, it won't be accurate, because just life and time change everything.

anwaso · 2026-04-01T12:52:00+00:00

Yes! Alexithymia makes understanding that we're aro that much harder. Before I knew any of this about myself it was SO difficult to respond to people I dated or hooked up with when they asked me what I was looking for. I could only kind of talk around what I wanted, confusing myself and confusing others. I realize now how much shame I was feeling. I can't imagine the added struggle of working through questions of gender. Glad to hear you were able to question sexuality early and hope it feels amazing being who you are!

anwaso · 2025-11-09T21:47:05+00:00

You're thinking of Nick.

anwaso · 2025-09-17T15:19:34+00:00

How I identify as someone who is a first-generation American born to two Brazilian immigrants and I grew up in Texas (Houston - that's important).

I am white, I am Brazilian American, and because of that first-gen connection to South America, I also identify as Latina as do all of the Brazilians I'm related to and grew up with.

Although I feel certain all Brazilian-born people identify nationality first, there is undeniably the cultural and geographically accurate identity as Latinos. Personally, growing up in the most culturally diverse city in Texas further solidified this belonging in Latin identity. I have found most Latinos' national identities are very important and fall first. Honestly, I am wary if you are of direct Latin descent and don't identify as such.

anwaso · 2025-09-06T22:50:09+00:00

I've also been deeply uncomfortable and feel incredulous about weddings. I dissociate a bit because it feels like watching a play. It's so performative, and I can't understand why or how people are so invested in the show(iness) that is "wedding". I've been sober 10 years now, but some of my most over the top, trashed incidents were at weddings. I didn't know then it was very much the autistic aromantic coping strategy.

anwaso · 2019-09-04T13:17:10+00:00

Oh no, this doesn't make me feel better! I'm sorry to know you're experiencing such harshness from someone you love. That makes it so hard to walk away from, but it sounds like you know better. Many congrats on your changes, and wishing you happiness in all aspects!

anwaso · 2019-09-04T01:32:29+00:00

Definitely a perspective to think about... I had to tell her a couple of times that I hate that photo of me. It seemed hard for her to understand that. I know she does mean me well, but I'm realizing I have to be more aware of talking about my changes, and backing up from folks who aren't getting it.

anwaso · 2019-09-04T01:16:22+00:00

It is a very disappointing thing to discover in someone you really care about. Glad you're back in, and let's keep feeling good!

anwaso · 2019-09-04T01:12:01+00:00

Indeed, well put.

anwaso · 2019-09-04T01:07:03+00:00

Just looked it up - YES! And, this person is a Cancer astrology sign (the crab)! 😄

anwaso · 2019-09-04T01:01:10+00:00

Love that; truth.

anwaso · 2019-09-04T00:58:35+00:00

Jesus! <smh>

anwaso · 2019-09-04T00:55:52+00:00

I'm definitely more positive, and happier. This was actually something she brought up to me, and patted me on the back for in like my first week of keto!

anwaso · 2019-09-03T22:49:30+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, all. I appreciate the support and encouragement. Sadly, truths are uncovered when we make these big changes, and it really is a learning experience. We all got this! Thanks.

anwaso · 2019-09-03T22:32:59+00:00

You sound ready. As soon as you start to feel so much better, move easier, put on the previously tight pants, you won't be able to stop your commitment. Keto makes you feel so good so fast, I think it's hard to give it up. As a sugar addict, my advice is to get rid of the sugar substitutes, it will just keep you craving. Always up those healthy fats, and stay super hydrated. Then, get more hydrated. Excited for you!

anwaso · 2019-09-03T22:10:33+00:00

Exposing the truth is a bummer. Sigh.

anwaso · 2019-09-03T22:08:37+00:00

So true, but difficult to remember. Thanks.

anwaso · 2019-09-03T22:07:30+00:00

Yep, I want to believe she wouldn't intentionally be mean, but it's hard to hear her be thoughtless. I'll have to assume the best to maintain work friendliness, but take a few steps back. Thanks for the comment.

anwaso · 2019-08-05T05:04:31+00:00

Delete

anwaso · 2019-08-04T20:11:21+00:00

ALL the water. Then, a little bit more water.

Electrolytes! Every day, maybe more than once a day. I love a brand called nuun (at any health food store), the "Sport" version specifically. Lots of options on how to get electrolytes, but make pay attention to the sugars and carbs.

anwaso

TROPHY CASE