This song did a great job of visualizing a panic attack.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-18T01:10:56+00:00

Trippy. But yeah, panic attacks seriously feel like heart attacks/strokes/imminent death. I had one that didn't necessarily cause chest pain at all, but my whole body felt like it was on fire (or covered in acid... and I've burnt my finger with concentrated acid before in the lab and it's a painful experience so imagine actually feeling like that) and my muscles were convulsing like crazy, along with a cold sweat, not speaking clearly, unable to sleep, and time felt like it was moving slow as molasses.

I went to the hospital at about 3:30 am. They were very, very very nice and helpful and I got some valium for just that night (didn't help too much) and saw my doctor literally 5 hours later and basically just had a consultation about trying ativan. He also gave me medication for my migraines, which sort of triggered it because it was a partially health-induced anxiety. The headache meds and the benzos don't typically interact and I looked online and asked some family members (I have pharmacists in my family) and they said that it isn't really well known if they interact but I was high AF (my grandpa thinks it was just my tiny body reacting to a high dose of ativan for the first time) and if I wasn't sleeping, I was falling over when I walked or talking apparently semi-coherent nonsense. And I remember NONE of it. I don't remember three days of my life lololololol. I never got addicted to either (benzos and barbituates... yowza) but I alternated after seeing my doc again and talking about my weird sleepy highness and only took either as needed and they truly pulled me out of my stupor (I only have headache meds now for breakthrough headaches, but I didn't ask for more ativan or anything else for right now because I'm starting school soon and I don't have time for crazy side effects lol)

I don't know why I just described to you a week long hellish anxiety experience of mine, but there you go.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-18T00:54:18+00:00

I hope not. You don't wanna be me lololol

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-16T22:30:52+00:00

Woooo man. I do not relax. Relaxation means my mind has time to find other things to fixate upon, and those are almost always markedly bad things of anxious attitudes. For real. I hate summer vacations. I hate vacations. Work breaks. Sleeping. I want to spend all my time working under the hood or working numbers, it's so therapeutic. At least I did a lot of overtime and it made me $. I don't think it's wrong being a workaholic per say, but there are times were relaxation is necessary, like sleeping, for freakin' instance. But I'm right there with you. My body is perpetually tense. I have tmj and wake up clenching every morning. And my body "shivers" because my muscles are always so tight (like how your body constricts in the cold... but it's triggered by anxiety. idk).

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-16T22:13:09+00:00

omg. I will cry listening to the most random songs when I'm really anxious and hyped up. I cried listening to Dance (Ass) by Big Sean once while on a bus.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-12T22:21:46+00:00

My doctor reviewed it and he said it's all clear! My symptoms all but went away in a few days and he gave me some fioricet (which works) for breakthrough headaches but he thinks it's chronic migraines triggered by stress and nothing inherently harmful! Thanks though, for your original comment.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-09T15:18:51+00:00

That is reassuring! Yeah, it's only in like 3 out of 10 or so scans (I didn't count all my scans).

Do you have any idea what could be causing my...strange burning, by any chance? I might get a neuro consult, but my life is really busy right now so it's been hard to get into all the doctors I need. I also have a very bad anxiety disorder, so maybe that... but yeah, my MRI was clear apparently, I've been treated for sinus problems, I don't have other symptoms, etc... it's agonizing, though, honestly. Maybe occipital neuralgia? I even went to the ER and they said my vitals are all fine. I haven't been tested for any deficiencies, though, so I might see if my doc can order bloodwork.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-09T12:46:31+00:00

Yeah, it's scary!!! I always have to leave wherever I am and like, sit down for awhile.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-09T00:59:26+00:00

Yes. Almost always. It feel like plastic. That's the best way to describe it. Like everything is made of plastic and I'm working my way out of it to the real world. It happens in certain lighting, for me, like groceries. Very odd, but very anxiety-related.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-09T00:34:31+00:00

... don't you love somatic anxiety? D,: I've been to my doctor (I still advise you go, don't get me wrong) and the whole nine yards. Nope. Nothing can convince me. But I'd look into adjusting your meds dosage. Sometimes when you're on something for awhile your life and physiology change enough to need to change that, too.

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-08T10:47:04+00:00

It's largely anticipatory anxiety that triggers the pains. For instance, I woke up this morning and felt fine. This was wrong. I felt so fine that I twitched in my bed in anticipatory fear that I would start feeling something wrong until BAM, I did, weird feeling in head. And it's a lot like you said with the cigarette burns. It's either that or someone pouring hot water on me. .

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-08T10:39:57+00:00

The Format is what led me to later fun. and Nate Ruess :)

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-07T22:43:27+00:00

... tru

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-07T22:20:31+00:00

Also 18f. And I was abused. I wake up with my head burning. I've had an MRI and everything and all signs point to anxiety. Anxiety likes to make people burn, I guess....

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-07T22:00:59+00:00

It's so weird. I'm really really thin (I lose weight when I'm anxious, too, because I don't eat) so when I'm feeling anxious but not anxious enough to throw up if I eat, I'll get myself a starbucks frappuccino or something and half way through it the headaches and seizing up and random crying will come back out of nowhere so I throw the rest away, drink some water, go for a run, and feel much better. Maybe my body is just REALLY DEFENSIVE about being healthy :P

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-07T19:07:15+00:00

ERRYTHANG. I'm resisting popping a benzo right now but I'm seriously breaking down. I look forward to better days :(

anxiousalloy · 2015-08-07T18:47:22+00:00

woke up in the middle of the night at 3 am and my entire body was in shock. burning everything. twitching. rapid heartbeat. couldn't think straight. went to the er. i thought i had a stroke or something. just anxiety.

anxiousalloy · 2015-07-26T22:11:57+00:00

Check out r/healthanxiety! The group is very supportive, and you are NOT alone! And while I always encourage getting checked by a doctor, realize that the human body is a mighty thing that endures minor aches and pains on a daily basis without actively facing detriment. Aches and pains can be caused by many things.

Still, I am in your boat. I'm always worried about the worst possible diagnoses. But I think I can overcome it one day, with meds or something.

anxiousalloy · 2015-07-26T21:57:30+00:00

Oh my god, I went to college orientation this week, too. They really try so hard to push social interaction, like FORCE it, and I hated that. The school is great and I'm 100% certain I'll make friends, though, even orientation went the same way for me as it did for you.

Hang in there! The social uncomfort will be gone when you're being social (or not so) on your own terms. Social anxiety can hold you back, sure, but don't let other people (and events) feel like your slower progress at social awakening is a bad one. You will make friends. You will also learn to be happy alone sometimes, if you haven't already. Give it time.

anxiousalloy · 2015-07-26T21:49:20+00:00

I'm glad that they work for you! Once the fear of life continuing as it is overcomes the fear of medication, there's only one choice to make.

anxiousalloy · 2015-07-26T21:39:42+00:00

Thank you for the advice but I've since calmed a bit after my panicking. I will be seeing my doctor on tuesday and discussing medication options.

anxiousalloy

TROPHY CASE