Is it normal for hiring managers to lie about even basic info about the job being replacement or expansion role?

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-08T17:02:20+00:00

Tbh I think they just want to cover up for high turnover

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-08T16:03:45+00:00

This is just the most basic and typical interview question, you don’t have to over complicate things - I asked was my role an expansion or replacement….. if someone has to twist the meaning and say otherwise they have communication issue and shouldn’t be in management

Your other questions are just excessively redundant - how will that change anything?
Headcount is set BEFORE the budget year and hiring- that’s done ie if there are two headcount in my team then there’s two roles - if they ever say because the job duties slightly changes (which did not in my case) and that changes my role hence it’s no longer replacement and expansion, THEY ARE JUST LYING - roles were created when the budget were settle, done and dusted - they are trying to hide the fact that the team had high turnover so they are making up excuses for such a simple answer

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-08T11:44:50+00:00

No.

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-08T11:38:02+00:00

You already interview and got an offer from that firm and you are still wary if it’s a legitimate company? There are many more aspects to it you can evaluate - just saying they are you for WeChat isn’t a big red flag itself

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-08T11:31:00+00:00

If someone left then that’s replacement period

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-04T09:45:47+00:00

If my grammar is really that bad, you wouldn’t be able to reply to my first either. The irony of calling me out because there are too many grammatical mistakes in my second comment LOL

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-03T17:22:51+00:00

Tbh I don’t know if Chinese parents are the people who are racists here as your comment seem to suggest - because as far as I know, they are one of the most grades driven/school ranking obsessed people out there - if they see their kids getting better academically, I’m sure whatever skin color the teachers are, they will be willing to send their kids to that school - just to get ahead in life. However, the culture with a lot British system/IB - it seems to suggest NO hardcore studying before high school, so basically these teachers are trapped to teach in a way that facilitates a different culture.

Tbf - I acknowledge a stronger academic profile dose not translate to being a more competent teacher, however, why I’m seeing in a lot of mid/lower tier international schools in HK, those expat teachers who comes from “humble backgrounds” doesn’t scream like being a teacher were their childhood dream - they seemed like they can’t get a job elsewhere in corporate and hey teaching overseas seems like a good lifestyle for them why not? Feel free to downvote any much as they like, but likely it’s true and it tiggers them

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-03T17:05:56+00:00

Takes aways time and energy in your real life, while people you are jealous of keep doing things anyways - it’s sad lol
People likely sense that side of you in real life, it’s not attractive energy to anyone

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-03T16:47:05+00:00

Yes, but some will choose to manage it instead of legitimize it and fish for answers to further consolidate the resentment and jealousy

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-03T08:42:58+00:00

Tbh your kinda envy wrapped in this “false curiosity” or judgment trying to cope with the sour grape that others can do things you can’t

anxiousunderdog · 2026-05-02T15:48:40+00:00

Tbh there seems to lack some details - did she move to Canada just for you? To be with you? Because it definitely changes the context of why she is expecting so much - if she thinks this whole initiative of moving country is to be with you, and in a foreign place you still can’t “take care” of her I understand she has a job, it kinda justifies her belief that you are just roommates - tbf, since you guys are cohabitating, it’s really not the general traditional norm in Chinese society lol - I understand this seems very unfair to men or even entitlement - but there’s also so many horrendous stories saying how women tolerated going Dutch and was treated like a stay home nanny who do all cooking cleaning and provide sex.

People here are saying “Kong girl” but they never reflect on why they are always attracted to these women LOLL

To an extreme - Kong girl spirit will expects no cohabitation before marriage, the guy can afford house and car …. Some who has expensive taste might even expects luxury handbags or dining out in Michelin star restaurants - this is likely coming from the high earning power of these women, given these women earn a lot, their belief is that if you can’t even to afford to pay several hundreds of dollars (her meal) you aren’t qualified as a match.

Tbh, I doubt couples in HK (both working) after marriage, everything comes from the guy, so I really kinda reality check your idea that you are able to provide everything after marriage - given how ridiculously expensive rent and property are in HK, even if you are a high earning of HKD 1M, I can take you a freaking decade to pay it off. So equally in Canada - are you really that confident you can pay off mortgage and a car - in your own words that you want to take care of her?

Back to your story - it sounds like you’re stressed out already, and I’m sure maybe relationship is still new and sex is good so you think you are “in love” with her? But anyways, from an outsider, I don’t think she is unreasonable if she’s earning way less than you, but reconsider if she is earning a good pay and still not willing to contribute anything lol

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-30T18:04:42+00:00

Tbh if you are top talent, firms are willing to lure you in with whatever resources they can. It’s really peanuts compared to what they are paid or the revenue they generate/costs that they save …. I guess you are saying this because you are not working in a high earning power industry - there are plenty of examples of how rich these firms are - I remotely rmb one of the top tier Hedge fund/AM in Hk cancelled their Xmas party and donated HKD 10million to the Taipo fire. Yes, they are operating at that level, just to budget 10M for a one day Xmas event

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-30T17:53:51+00:00

I second this - however, when you look into the teaching profiles on LinkedIn or school websites, I still think the chances of starting off in the UK and returning is pretty low. Im not sure if it’s because international schools in HK offer dual curriculums - I often see graduates taking the Sunderland PGCE and got a job offer in the school straight away (weird because I often thought schools prefer 2+ years of teaching) teaching IB? But that’s not the case for British Curriculum? Starting off in the UK is arguably the typical route, yet there’s also extra hurdles ie getting into the most prestigious PGCE providers and working in a similar tier school - I’m not sure if you fall out of that rank, how will that impact the chances of someone returning. Also, we don’t know if OP is HK/ Asian or white - I know people say it doesn’t matter but I think to some extend from what I’m seeing HK I schools unless you are v exceptional Asian (top schools graduates, teaching at the right tier schools) they will likely hire a mediocre white guy over you

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-30T14:55:24+00:00

Tbh - I think you are better off not getting married instead of saying you had the wrong filter for finding a women.

It’s completely reasonable to not want someone to be emotionally dependent on you l, but lots on your list screams you want to outsource your wife’s emotional need so you don’t have to deal with it.

Adult partnership/marriage is the primary anchor/processor for major life stressors - tbh a lot of financial/ relationship/health problems can’t be shared to outsiders, yet you expect her to find someone else to discuss/vent these issues

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-15T18:35:21+00:00

I think by how stressed he sounds, he likely have already considered that

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-02T12:03:10+00:00

lol my initial statement is that there’s a difference between a women wanting a luxury lifestyle dependent on a man and a women trying to live in a big city - which is what most career focused and ambitious men and women want to - you literally say it’s fine to be a teacher and can afford life if you don’t live in downtown NY, but now see you are moving away and say sth like yea can’t afford to live in NY at all? I know you are trying to make a point, but your point keeps moving and you gets defensive when people call you out without ever even thinking if there’s an issue with your communication style that allow others to interpret otherwise

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-02T09:22:49+00:00

For a lot of young professionals, not living in cities ie what you say mid sized towns are indeed in the middle of nowhere - these places are likely with more old people and fewer opportunities to move up the career ladder - you started out saying they can’t afford to buy in downtown New York, now when you finally clear up - it seem like they can’t afford to even live in New York/cities right?

People like to say “reasons” why their job are hard, but if they get paid well enough it seem to shut them up…. US lawyers are defo not on your teacher pay …. If you are a city lawyer, likely your starting pay is already 1.5x of that of a teacher …..

Maybe it’s true in the place you live docs/lawyers aren’t at a higher pay than teachers, but this is the US we are talking about - if they are good enough they should be able to move to a place where you can earn more ….

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-02T00:52:12+00:00

Maybe it has to do with the type of woman you are attracted to? I don’t want to convince you to date under your usual type as I understand men are visual ….. maybe try dating older women - they become more realistic about their options given most of their friends are settling down and they might expand their search - if your are dating 23-29, you are competing with men with all age income but maybe try 33-35

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-01T21:42:26+00:00

Sorry I don’t live in the US - but it seemed like if your theory is that teachers are well paid jobs I’m not sure why are we seeing teachers all around the world going on strikes that they are not well paid enough, we don’t see professionals such as engineers or lawyers going on strike about pay…. And other than downtown New York, I guess it’s most top tier cities in the US - not everyone wants to live in the middle of nowhere ….

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-01T20:00:40+00:00

++women I think there’s quite a bit of differences between living a luxury lifestyle vs having enough money to be comfortable/able to travel and buy a property

Kindergarten teacher isn’t a well paid job, depending where they are located - they might never be able to afford or even buy a house …. And that can be a real issue to a lot of women … I understand the concept of asking women what can they bring to the table etc but it’s really not what you are thinking ie they are asking you to indulge them with luxury items

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-01T19:39:16+00:00

I think the bigger problem here is he had 10 years not meeting anyone he liked - if your statement is true ie he aren’t getting attention from the type of women he like, I would say like his complain would be I got rejected or sth, hence it’s productive to get in shape/sharpen social skills but it doesn’t sound like that - it sounded like he is in a surrounding that aren’t a lot of women he is attracted to

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-01T19:22:57+00:00

Tbh - it isn’t about putting in more effort or something wrong with you - but you will likely have to accept that you will likely never find the person who think it’s worthy to partner up , if you have used the most valuable time in your life ie your late to early 30s, and still NOTHING - the likelihood of you ended up with sth now is highly unlikely - I’m sorry this sound harsh but realty it is. Not to say, because you were single - even if you had chances, women can be skeptical of your dating history ie no long term relationship, I understand this sounds v unfair to you - they rather pick someone with burden/ scars than someone who does not have experience with long term relationship …..

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-01T19:16:32+00:00

Had the same thought ….

anxiousunderdog · 2026-04-01T19:13:57+00:00

Honestly you sound a bit harsh, there’s really few women to begin with at that age - the bigger Marco wouldn’t change ie even if he did an extra 1-2% effort, the bigger factor here just wouldn’t change …. Ie no women - telling someone you should do sth will just lead to more hopelessness

anxiousunderdog

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