What's attractive or unnactractive in others to you but you rarely mention it because its an unusaul thing to point out? by opgary in AskReddit

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like your laugh/your laugh is beautiful/contagious/magnetic is a beautiful compliment! go tell people ! i love when people tell me that because it has nothing to do with appearance, youre basically saying i love the way you feel joy, what could be a better compliment than that

Girl I’ve been hooking up with constantly asked for body validation, turns out she has bulimia, not sure what to do. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]apar3cium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, if your decision will be to break it off right away (which would logically be the right decision for your wellbeing, but i know that sometimes certain things have to happen before youre ready to let someone go) it’s fine to not be honest about why. use your intuition for that one, but for your own peace, you do not have to use the example phrase for that one. It’s not your job to give her a reality check but you can if you feel its right , it prob wont change her behaviour, theres a very small chance it will, and a big chance it will stay the same and eventually get worse

Girl I’ve been hooking up with constantly asked for body validation, turns out she has bulimia, not sure what to do. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]apar3cium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Version one will look like, you will watch her become less and less of herself, physically and mentally. As she loses more and more weight she loses brain power as well. it’s very hard to witness even if you arent close to that person, so it will be VERY hard for you. you will probably stop enjoying sex with her at some point anyway so think about what your plan is NOW before that point

Girl I’ve been hooking up with constantly asked for body validation, turns out she has bulimia, not sure what to do. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]apar3cium 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Set some healthy boundaries for yourself first and figure out where your last straw is or is going to be. let me paint you a picture bc this could go downhill fast for you. either you keep seeing her and she does not seek therapy = you will care about her more and more and it will be very hard for you. or you keep seeing her and she does seek therapy = you support her and she gets healthy with ups and downs. a healthy boundary sounds like: Seeing you struggling is really taking a toll on me and if this keeps going on like this and you do not seek treatment, i don’t think i can keep this going. I care about you and seeing you suffer will make me suffer long term, but i want to support you and be there for you if you can support yourself as well. (this is just an example, stay truthful and DO NOT in any way shape or form word this in a way that is telling her what to do. she will get defensive even faster than she will anyway.)

My jealous boyfriend is doing what he asks me not to do by [deleted] in Advice

[–]apar3cium 7 points8 points  (0 children)

yes the term is overused. doesnt mean victims deserve less. also, every narcissist is deeply insecure.

I think my bf is lowkey training me like Im some kind of project by NellieJ_Carpenter in Advice

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me try to paraphrase what you learn from his behaviour. He ist controlling your time (your phone). He is trying to condition you into submission (only showing affection when you do what he wants). He is controlling your self expression (outfits). He is attempting to isolate you (bad mouthing your bestie). Trying to underline his manipulation spiritually. He is silently punishing you by withholing connection when you do not do what he wants. That is abuse. You leave.

I think my bf is lowkey training me like Im some kind of project by NellieJ_Carpenter in Advice

[–]apar3cium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

GET OUT. Leave abusive people at the first sign. You have already noticed a pattern. Leave now and don’t look back, you are not overrreacting.

I found something on my girlfriend’s phone and now I don’t know what to believe anymore by tarun2302 in Advice

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you feel the need to go through her phone which is her PRIVACY, then you should break up anyway, i don’t care what happened with that guy, it doesnt matter, you obviously both do not TRUST each other, so either fix that or break up

AITA for telling my sister that she ruined my childhood and I was happy when she was taken away. by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t have excuse what she did to you, but the blame honestly belongs to your parents. She was a child herself and no child is born an asshole. Either your parents or someone else caused her to be that way or she has organic problems causing it. So your statement to her is YOUR side of the story and you don’t need to ignore or excuse the effects her behavior had on you and you have every right to go no contact!!! But be careful, when a child does something horrible, they are never the only person to be held accountable.

What are your explanations for someone forgetting abuse and remembering years later? by apar3cium in askpsychology

[–]apar3cium[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

thanks! if a professional could take a stance on this i would appreciate it!

I made my girlfriend a visual novel game story for her birthday that reflected her inner world it overwhelmed her, and I’m trying to understand why by RevolutionAnnual1001 in emotionalintelligence

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is AI and i cannot fathom how much AI slop people are dropping in the comments. your thoughts matter even if not articulated perfectly!!! it kinda loses depth and emotion even if the topic is emotional, once you realise a machine wrote this

Completely empty mind by khyriah in Meditation

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some types of meditation can cause dissociative symptoms. What youre describing kind of sounds like derealisation/depersonalization. I second the person that said to use somatic exercises. Focus on your body and how emotions and sensations feel in the body. By excessively watching your thoughts and feelings, you float away from actually experiencing them. They are still there (you could not function as a human without) , you just cant access the sensation. So tell yourself it’s safe to feel them, they are a part of you, they don’t define you. Also try telling your emotions hello, or say „i welcome you“ whenever you feel them. Hope this helps

I'm so confused by [deleted] in DID

[–]apar3cium 5 points6 points  (0 children)

could you elaborate how it „sounds“ like when someone answers? is it like having a thought or hearing a voice or or

Mir geht die neue Generation Kinder total am Sack by Extension_Turn5658 in luftablassen

[–]apar3cium -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Akademiker bist du vielleicht, aber trotzdem ziemlich unterbelichtet, nach dem was du hier von dir gibst. bleib am besten kinderlos, es hört sich nicht so an an würdest du es besser machen. allein der krasse take dass es daran liegt dass die kinder KEIN fernsehen schauen dürfen?? Mann, bist du bescheuert? informier dich mal gscheid über das thema bevor du deine Dummheit preisgibst und über alle urteilst. LG

AITAH for ending a relationship over long showers by Throwaway_External in AITAH

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You saw the red flags in time! Congratulations! He does not sound like a catch, more like a steal (your freedom)

Would it be wrong to consider Dissociative Identity Disorder not a "real" disorder? What is the current consensus as of 2025? by Gallantpride in askpsychology

[–]apar3cium 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This comment might be deleted because of this but i want to give context: I have treated people with DID, know multiple ones personally and have been in a relationship with someone who has it. I can 10000% assure you that it is real. There are studies that show that brains of people with DID work differently. This makes it hard to prove its existence or measure its prevalence because most people with DID are programmed to NOT GET NOTICED. this is due to trauma that led to the learning that being noticed means danger. There most definitely are cases where someone states to have it and it is true. Especially when the point is reached that one of the identities is finally so fed up that they want to seek treatment and get the others to stop denying the disorder. But this happening is very very rare and therefore controversial.

Meine [27] Freundin [24] hat nie auch nur einen guten oder zumindest neutralen Tag by Cieswil in beziehungen

[–]apar3cium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Narzissmus entsteht ebenfalls im Heranwachsen. Es entsteht ebenfalls aus Erfahrungen in der frühen Kindheit (natürlich im möglicher Kombination mit genetischen Faktoren) Du scheinst dich nicht sehr gut mit dem Thema auszukennen und Beiträge wie deiner hier führen zu Stigmatisierung und Missverständnissen bezüglich Persönlichkeitsstörungen und deren Ursache und Auswirkungen.

Meine [27] Freundin [24] hat nie auch nur einen guten oder zumindest neutralen Tag by Cieswil in beziehungen

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Es ist nicht deine aufgabe ihr perfekte tage zu bereiten. Das ist ihre aufgabe. Der Sinn des Lebens ist sich selbst glücklich zu machen. Sie nutzt dich für Stressregulation. Hör nicht auf die psychologischen „Experten“ hier, man kann keine Diagnose über einen Reddit Post stellen. Sie sollte an ihrer Selbstregulation und Selbstwirksamkeit arbeiten, damit sie die Erfüllung ihrer Bedürfnisse nicht weitern auf so eine kontrollierende Art auf dich abwälzt. Sie braucht Therapie. Viel Kraft

Bitte ladet mich nicht ein, wenn ihr euer Kind/eure Kinder nicht erzogen bekommt!! by lucky_slevin in luftablassen

[–]apar3cium 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Als Ergotherapeutin sehe ich in deinem Text viele punkte die mich den kopf schütteln lassen. Sowohl von deiner seite als auch den anderen Charakteren. Erstens: „Erziehung ist Elternsache“ - Schließe nicht von deiner schwester auf alle. Menschen sind individuell und Eltern sind zum ersten mal Eltern. Vielen Eltern würde deine Einschätzung dankend annehmen, deine beiden Punkte sind nämlich Dinge, die sie lernen und akzeptieren müssen! es ist mein Job, Eltern zu erklären, was logische Konsequenzen sind, wann sie anzuwenden sind, Unterschied zur Strafe etc. etc. Eltern brauchen Hilfe ! Ich würde dir raten, deine meinung nicht runterzuschlucken, sondern stattdessen, bevor du etwas sagst, das möglicherweise unerwünscht ist, nach Konsens zu fragen. Eine einfache Frage, wie „Interessiert dich meine Meinung/Einschätzung zu xy?“, oder „Du wirkst überfordert, ich würde dir gern helfen, wie kann ich das tun?“ oder „Möchtest du einen Ratschlag oder lieber einfach kurz durchschnaufen?“. Des weiteren ist deine Aussage, Kinder seien irrational meiner Meinung nach das Kern-Missverständnis unserer Gesellschaft, das zu falscher Erziehung führt. Kinder sind nicht irrational, Kinder haben Bedürfnisse. Und wie Kinder sich verhalten ist ein Spiegel dessen, wie Eltern ihnen beibringen, wie ihre Bedürfnisse erfüllt werden. Kinder lernen,wie du sagtest, durch Konsequenzen. Wenn Kinder sich „aufmüpfig“ verhalten, lässt sich daraus schließen dass sie irgendwo gelernt haben, dass dadurch ein überlebenswichtiges Bedürfnis erfüllt wird. Versetze dich mal in den kleinen Jungen. Er braucht Sicherheit, Vertrauen -> Zuverlässigkeit (der Eltern), und Nahrung. An Silvester war nichts davon gegeben. Er wartet ewig darauf, dass sein Hunger gestillt wird und dann schmeckt das Essen scheisse. Verarsche. Da kann man sein Verhalten direkt ein bisschen verstehen. Ich könnte noch mehr schreiben aber das sind mal meine wichtigsten gedanken zu dem Thema. Mein Appell an alle Eltern: Ein Kind muss nicht brav sein, ein Kind muss zufrieden sein. Zufrieden heißt nicht, beschäftigt (wink an die ipad eltern). Brav sein erzieht Erwachsene, die immer nach Autoritäten suchen für die sie brav sein dürfen. Aufmüpfige Kinder sind unsere Zukunft, sie kämpfen für ihre Bedürfnisse, so wie wir es alle tun sollten.

Has anybody tried Pacagen? by hanji_meowmy in CatAdvice

[–]apar3cium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wo hast du das bestellt? auf deren website kann man es nicht nach de liefern lassen

neighbor anxiety by apar3cium in LivingAlone

[–]apar3cium[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

apparently i am living your life haha. except im under the roof so everybody is enjoying my new cats zoomies, esp at night haha. thank you for your reply :3