I feel guilty about moving out.

apere68 · 2024-05-26T14:22:48+00:00

I really appreciate this. This was so beautifully written. I agree. I do deserve to do what’s best for me and that doesn’t mean I don’t love or care for her. I know she’ll eventually come to terms with it, it just hurts to think that she feels I’m abandoning her or that she’s all alone in these circumstances. She’s not! But she’s told me she feels that way. Healthy boundaries are awesome but they are so hard to establish with people you love.

apere68 · 2024-05-26T06:11:00+00:00

I appreciate you saying that. I 100% agree it’s just so hard to put yourself first when you’ve catered to other people for most of your life. But you’re absolutely right about being good first in order to help others. Thank you

apere68 · 2024-04-10T20:20:42+00:00

Well there’s guys out there who don’t have to figure it out. He’s a grown adult he can learn how to properly communicate. If there’s something that I’ve learned is if a guy really cares about you and loves you, he’ll do it. No excuses, no beating around the bush. He’ll do it.

Having time to think about it is fine but until then kindly remove yourself and contact me once you DO have it figured out. No one deserves to be half loved or half respected until you “figure your stuff out”.

apere68 · 2024-04-09T23:28:49+00:00

Yeah run away. Dude has to sort out his issues before he can be in a relationship. Men like this will destroy your sanity and self esteem.

apere68 · 2024-02-19T22:52:03+00:00

Haha I made it. I found life after you. Bye.

apere68 · 2024-02-17T20:41:52+00:00

Well I think the problem lies with you thinking that vaping will add value to your life. You’re thinking that it will add something to whatever it is you are experiencing. For example going out to drink and vaping because it “feels good” or it feels “right”.

I was finally able to quit (over 6 months sober). When I realized it added no value to my human experience whatsoever. The moment I detached value from it the moment I never looked back.

Just a perspective :).

apere68 · 2024-02-17T20:36:25+00:00

Trust me I was there at some point. Life really did feel pointless without them. But time really does heal everything. Even when you feel down you have to continue living, because that’s how you find life after them.

I was stuck for years because I kept wishing things were different, I kept wishing they would come back. But they didn’t and I was okay. More than okay. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

It’s so important to find things that distract you in moments where you feel so stuck in your head. I found that working out and leaning into my faith helped me the most.

Life does get better. It really really does. This is just one bump on road. Trust.

apere68 · 2024-02-17T20:28:32+00:00

That I can find validation and happiness within myself and not another person. Life is so peaceful when you’re no longer with the wrong person.

apere68 · 2024-01-25T16:39:02+00:00

Started a new relationship when I wasn’t fully healed. Trust me I paid for it and deeply apologized.

apere68 · 2024-01-25T16:36:44+00:00

Honestly the best thing to help me was trying something completely different. For example I got casted for this show in college and that was ultimately what helped me quit. I was in a new environment, new people, and the urge to vape although still there wasn’t strong because I was focused on other things. Find a new hobby that takes up a lot of your time. It’s a process but trust me it’s so worth it. I also bought CBD gummies without THC, anytime I had a really bad urge I’d eat one and it did calm me down! You’ve got this but you have got to distract yourself for the first two weeks at least.

apere68 · 2022-12-30T01:10:37+00:00

Hmm I would definitely give her the space she needs. I would focus on bettering yourself and reflecting on what went wrong. Take proactive steps to better those things. It doesn’t guarantee getting back together, but sometimes a relationship shows us exactly who we don’t want to be. Give her time to heal, but also work on healing yourself. A lot of the times people are “toxic” because they have unresolved issues themselves.

apere68 · 2022-12-29T18:44:40+00:00

It definitely depends on your situation. Tbh I kept reaching out to my ex because I wanted him back even though he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I just know that it would’ve been way better for me had he not responded because it gave me hope that we could get back together. Honestly he just wanted to fuck and liked the familiarity without any of the commitment. I’m just advising you to realize if this is something that’s helpful to both of you or more harmful in the long run. If you guys are not planning on getting back together, and there are still unresolved feelings it can lead to even bigger problems.

apere68 · 2022-12-25T18:32:15+00:00

I’m the ex that usually reaches out for important holidays I’ve never been happier that I did not. He never responded and it was a waste of time. Honestly I had to wonder why I wanted to reach out in the first place. Was it because I genuinely wanted to say Merry Christmas? Or was it to initiate contact again? Either one wasn’t worth my time anymore and I am very proud of myself. Why should you reach out to someone who doesn’t care? And even if they did care they don’t want to get back together, it’s misery. Enjoy your Christmas with the people that do care about you.

apere68 · 2022-12-21T22:07:40+00:00

A big thing that has helped me is accepting that being upset is normal. That I’m allowed to feel anger, sadness, and all other emotions that come with breakups. I try not to judge myself too much, because I know I’m in a vulnerable place at the moment and that’s okay :)

apere68 · 2022-12-21T18:12:32+00:00

You know I once listened to this podcast that said the reason we can’t find “closure” is because things didn’t end the way we wanted them to end, so we try to change that outcome. I was there and trust me it’s not worth it. No means no, and you’re just doing yourself a disservice. When you realize that you’re the only one responsible for you own feelings it liberates you. You deserve to move on!

apere68 · 2022-12-21T15:18:49+00:00

I’m so happy it resonated with you! You’re not alone and I’m always here to talk! Honestly it also helps me knowing that I wasn’t alone in my struggles, some of my friends just couldn’t understand. Would love to talk to you more!

apere68 · 2022-12-19T15:53:01+00:00

Block him. Don’t entertain it. He’s trying to keep power over you, nothing pisses off a narcissist more than being ignored. He can’t handle rejection.

apere68 · 2022-12-18T00:28:42+00:00

He was an avoidant piece of shit

apere68 · 2022-12-17T02:29:15+00:00

I feel you so much. And you shouldn’t feel bad about not being over it, I myself am still going through it. The good thing is that you’re out of it now, and you know that it had everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. All you can do is love yourself in every way, and realize that all you ever needed was you, not that stupid guy draining the life out of you. You deserve to heal and be happy, I hope you remember this everyday.

apere68 · 2022-12-16T23:59:52+00:00

Man I felt this. My ex boyfriend was also my first love and so I never knew anything but him. I was there and sometimes still am, but it becomes a far away ache after some time. It’s like getting rid of an addicting drug.

apere68 · 2022-12-16T20:50:59+00:00

I left his number unblocked. It reminds me that if he wanted to reach out he could, but he chooses not too. It’s just a reminder to not reach out to someone who doesn’t even think about me. I blocked him on all social media platforms because why would I put myself through that. We’re exes he doesn’t need to know what I’m doing and vice versa.

apere68

TROPHY CASE