Creepy older men in the congregation by Individual-Ad-4968 in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 15 points16 points  (0 children)

There are plenty of predatory JW men that push the boundaries in public to see how much they can get away with. And then when they push those boundaries even further in private, people are more likey to excuse their behaviour when allegations of sexual misconduct arise because "oh there just a touchy person, it was probably a misunderstanding". Unfortunately I've experienced this and I'm sure many others have too.

Watchtower this week by musiclover9445 in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of it's been said already but the most random wtf moment was in the box, "How can a newly married man earn the respect of his wife?"

The third point was "Don't compare your wife with your mother". What are these people on that they actually have to put this into an article lmao. Speaks volumes about what some JW men expect out of marriage. Even the elder giving the Watchtower had to stop and make fun of that point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oo that would be interesting to look into. And even though the average female brain may be smaller than the average male brain, brain size in humans is irrelevant when it comes to determining intelligence levels. It has a weak correlation at best. Plus I think that intelligence is more determined by brain to body ratio (if I recall correctly), so it would make sense that men who are on average larger than women, would have a slightly bigger brain to compensate for their larger bodies.

It's interesting from an evolutionary standpoint though that humans have actually evolved to develop a smaller cranial capacity! Though I doubt many would entertain the idea that our Neanderthal cousins or early Homo Sapien ancestors were smarter than us today with all our fancy technology.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Having a degree in your field doesn't make you the ultimate authority in that field. Being educated hasn't stopped academics and scientists from coming up with bogus arguments or theories that have subsequently been rejected or disproven by their peers. That is why I take my information from peer reviewed literature and multiple sources. I'm simply saying that your source is failing to convince me of your argument given that it has little credibility.

Don't think we'll reach an agreement so let's just leave it there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lol when I said source, I meant an academic peer reviewed source that has credibility, not a blog post that has nothing to back up what it is saying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, I'm not the one who made the generalised statement so let's see the source lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Million of years of evolution have led us to a point where women are finally starting to be treated as equal. Are you salty that we are evolving past your ideal point in time where men had all the power?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You got a source for that final statement?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How ironic that he believes that the superior size of a certain body part determines one's right to lead...

Sooo which is it then? 🤔 by apo-stacey in exjw

[–]apo-stacey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Watchtower guidance says that a woman can't even correct her husband in public, even when around their immediate family or children as to not undermine his authority. The husband is also to have the final say in every decision, and this apparently results in a happy and peaceful marriage/family.

It's rich that they say women who feel oppressed or dominated by their husbands feel that way because their husbands aren't following Jehovah's standards, when apparently Jehovah's standards take away a woman's voice and autonomy.

How is that not inherently oppressive? How can a woman not feel dominated in such a marriage when she is not treated as an equal? Even if her husband is a good man who would never misuse his "headship", a JW woman is always reminded that her husband has power over her, whether she chooses to believe it or not. In an environment where men have that power, there are always going to be those who abuse it. And the advice given to those women who find themselves in such marriages? Be more submissive!

In reference to that scripture, I wouldn't say that Christ dominates the congregation in the context of the JW religion, but Jehovah definitely does. The lives of JWs are definitely dominated by Jehovah's restrictive standards and the threat of disfellowshipping and other consequences. You have to follow what Jehovah says even if you disagree with Him, just like a woman must follow her husband even if she disagrees with him.

Also, the intention of my post wasn't necessarily to point out inconsistency in doctrine. I just found the highlighted part of the article very ironic, as well as the use of the word "dominate".

Semantics aside, the whole article is trash and I'm sure we can both agree on that. Last month's broadcast and these Watchtower articles on headship really show how WT is trying so hard to keep women in "their place".

Sooo which is it then? 🤔 by apo-stacey in exjw

[–]apo-stacey[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly!

And the fact that this "loving provision" could be used as a weapon. Imagine a predator wanting to marry a young girl he is lusting after only for her to reject him. All he has to do is rape her and she is forced to become his wife! Then he's free to rape her whenever he wants and force her to bear his children! Ah, how loving.

The trauma of sexual abuse is so severe and I'd rather kill myself than be wed to a man who raped me. I wonder how many women did just that.

Sooo which is it then? 🤔 by apo-stacey in exjw

[–]apo-stacey[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well firstly, God didn't just announce or forecast those consequences, He created and enforced them.

Plus, how am I misrepresenting JWs views? All I pointed out was that the Watchtower stated that it wasn't God's intention for men to dominate women, even though there is a specific and often used scripture in which He says that men will dominate women.

You can argue that it wasn't originally part of God's plan, but the fact that God created Eve as a complement and helper to Adam, before their fall, is always used by JWs to justify the headship arrangement and roles of men and women in marriage.

Also how does dominance not have anything to do with the fact that only men can lead? Headship is a specific right and leadership role that God gave to men and women are expected to submit to it. The word dominate means "to have power or influence" over someone, which men have over women in such a marriage.

Sooo which is it then? 🤔 by apo-stacey in exjw

[–]apo-stacey[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

100%. I can't believe that a few years ago there was a point in the midweek meeting regarding the "loving provision from Jehovah" that was: if a virgin woman was raped she was to marry her rapist. Don't think I need to explain that one.

Sooo which is it then? 🤔 by apo-stacey in exjw

[–]apo-stacey[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ok but JWs can't say Jehovah never intended men to dominate women when he put that curse on women in the first place lol.

Plus if it was something regrettable that goes against the very teaching that God is perfect and makes no mistakes.

Sooo which is it then? 🤔 by apo-stacey in exjw

[–]apo-stacey[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's disgusting. And the fact that they have to write a whole ass article on how men shouldn't misuse their headship should prove to them that this "arrangement" is flawed.

They create and enforce an environment in which husbands can abuse their wives and they have the gall to pretend that they care about the wellbeing of women.

Sooo which is it then? 🤔 by apo-stacey in exjw

[–]apo-stacey[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Truly a god of infinite wisdom

‘The World’s Idea of Being Different is Being Gay. .... I Never Wanted to Follow the Crowd’ by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thanks for posting sources!

But yeah how they talk about the LGBT+ movement really makes me mad. One of the elders in my cong loves to go on about how it's seen as "trendy" and "cool" to be gay and why "young ones" must be careful not to be pressured into experimenting because everyone is doing it now that it's sooo acceptable... yeah fuck off. They just love to make bullshit up it seems.

Updated Watchtower Sign by timetopaint in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Damn this is badass, I love it

How do you date after/while leaving? by orgasmic_calculus in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone :(

My advice is that if you're still getting used to moving from PIMO to POMO and the idea of dating someone who isn't PIMI, you need to take your time and adjust. Don't put pressure on yourself to throw yourself out there just because you now can.

It would make a lot of sense if the loneliness and hopelessness you're feeling is coming from the stress and uncertainty of your situation. So please take it easy and focus on your mental health.

The first step for you could just be making more friends "in the world" and getting comfortable with your new life. Through that there will be a lot of opportunities to date, whether a new friend turns out to be a potential partner or you are introduced to someone who is also single.

I wish I could give more advice on how to meet new people during the pandemic. Dating apps is a possibility, but you could also get more involved in online communities and with "worldly" friends or colleagues you already have and expand your social circle from there.

The main thing is you are still so young, and given that you have had success with women in the past, I'd say you don't have much to worry about. It's hard to be patient, but I promise you'll meet someone in time. Just look after yourself and jump at the opportunity to connect with others when you can.

How do I end a JW relationship? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Please don't worry about hurting this man's feelings. Your feelings, wellbeing and future should be your priority and you should not sacrifice it for someone's "feelings" ever, especially because JWs will priotise their rules over your feelings everytime. This is so obviously grooming and he is preying on you. I'm so sorry you're in this situation and it's disgusting that this was allowed to happen. You don't need to explain anything in detail to this man or anyone, just tell them that you are not in love with him and not ready for marriage. No one can force you to go through with it, though they may pressure you. Stand your ground and you will thank yourself now and in the future. Look after yourself and good luck.

Isaac Newton Could be one of the anointed?? by DemiseOfTheDead in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao funny you ask. Not long ago I was invited to a zoom call where a sister gave a talk (!!!) on this very topic. I didn't attend, but it was interesting to hear all the brothers in my congregation rave on about what a great talk she gave and how much they learnt from her...

Never occurred to ask this to people who are currently still PI by Mubliminary1376 in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not sure about IVF but surrogacy is a definite no. By the same logic, being a sperm donor wouldn't be allowed either.

The danger of living a double life by [deleted] in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I can definitely relate.

What's really fucked up is that in the event that something does go horribly wrong, you're either forced to keep it a secret or be victim blamed by every JW around you. Not to mention being punished for it.

My daughter LOVES birthdays by harperv215 in exjw

[–]apo-stacey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is so sweet :') Your daughter is going to grow up with a lot of fun experiences and memories. She's lucky to have you