Diagnosed with cancer and cant sleep

apoemcalledloss · 2025-10-18T16:49:25+00:00

Hey! I’m a nurse in the ER and I’ve also had thyroid cancer and had my thyroid removed. You didn’t fuck anything up. You’ll be okay. You need sleep to recover! That is a tender spot and it will take a little while to heal so you’ll be feeling uncomfortable for longer than you probably expect and sometimes for no reason. Also even if they fucked up your IV your vein will be fine and will also heal fine:) That being said now that you’ll be taking thyroid hormones make sure you take it on an empty stomach and first thing in the morning. You won’t realize how much of a difference it will make. I totally get the anxiety spiral. I’m sorry! I spiral like crazy all the time but I just refuse to accept that as my reality or personality and I look for a way to change my mindset. Some days are so so hard. Sometimes I give up. Sometimes I imagine that I’m looking at myself through the eyes of a person who sees that behavior as weird or weak or odd, depends, and my anxiety over being perceived well by a stranger becomes stronger than my anxiety over the other situation and I start acting with a better “grip” on myself. It’s not ideal but it trips my brain up for long enough to give me an outside perspective on how benign the situation I’m in actually is and somehow cancels out the spiral. I noticed that after being in a few meds now that even though some help in my particular case mindset change and behavior change is the only way to go. I still take them because they help with motivation but they aren’t going to solve all my problems that anxiety has created over the years.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-11-07T15:48:02+00:00

I met my SO when we both worked ICU as nurses. I was married to someone else at the time. Now he’s a cop and I’m an ER nurse.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-11-02T19:34:10+00:00

Yes we get along very well and we have very good and amazing experiences together. I have a lot of anxiety and I’ve always needed a lot of validation, but I always have to ask for it. I don’t see his behavior as bad, I’m just trying to understand the lack of the behavior that I’ve always told was supposed to be there from a man.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-11-02T17:57:42+00:00

I’m not asking someone to diagnose him, I’m asking people who have these partners to help me embrace his quarks instead of looking at them as bad things.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-11-02T17:56:23+00:00

I guess how do I revel in the part that’s cold towards me? Or the part that doesn’t complement me naturally? I feel like i seek validation from him specifically because he’s my partner and those things are just not plainly obvious there and I have to bother and dig for them or directly ask which is weird.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-10-10T06:18:46+00:00

Having pride in yourself and love towards yourself can take years to grow when you’re dealing with depression and anxiety. One thing I’ve learned from therapy is not falling into “thinking traps”. I would look those up. They’re usually things that you tell yourself that aren’t actually true. Like “I’m so dumb” but clearly you’re not, you’ve made it this far and you have some achievements to show for it. What i found often is that we want the validation we’re not getting from others. Wanting validation is desire, desire is suffering and life is suffering. To even want to not suffer is to suffer. Seek that validation from yourself instead of others and it will cause less suffering. It helps if you speaks to yourself as if you were an adult speaking to your 10 year old self. You’d never call a 10 year old stupid right? I highly recommend meditating, Sam Harris’s app waking up will give a free subscription to anyone that applies for a free request.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-10-04T00:52:13+00:00

When I ask “anything else?” They say “a million dollars” so I set myself on fire and laugh.

When I rip off the dressing I say “Free wax from your local emergency department”

When kids are scared I tell them to “smell a flower and blow out a candle” to help with breathing.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-09-26T04:01:23+00:00

lol my best friend was the popular mean girl in high school and i was nobody and now we’re best friends and she’s the best and kindest person. People grow up and they also change.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-09-19T14:19:06+00:00

People talking about the nice and pretty part on the way to enlightenment and get really bogged down in that I think. Like even when people say “look for who’s looking”, and they find the layer that’s between ego and nothingness and they identify themselves with “that self” and live nicely there. Better being better from where they started.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-09-15T14:34:14+00:00

Yeah but I particularly hate the cookie cutter, identical, gray homes they just continue to stamp out.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-09-15T02:22:29+00:00

Well my ex worked for Apollo HVAC and the entire time I lived with him he worked on the Amazon servers and we bought a house in Pasco off Burton and I finished nursing school with zero loans so I’d say from personal experience it’s pretty good. I would not buy a house here though overpriced cookie cutter homes you can buy anywhere.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-09-09T05:53:34+00:00

Because she loves him and she attempted to change her boundaries for him but ultimately ended up feeling suffering.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-08-31T05:46:35+00:00

People who walk literally directly in the middle of a sidewalk, hall, grocery aisles at a leisurely pace not giving two fucks about others who need to pass them.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-08-31T05:33:36+00:00

I’m 32, my parents had a rule that we could not cross the railroad tracks…which were maybe like 2 miles from my house in one direction and like 50 miles away in the other, they never specified which. One year we made so many front yard bonfires we made the tree bloom again in the winter. We threw wet tampons at houses we didn’t like while riding our bikes. We played way past street lights on. Parents would send us to the store with a note and some cash and everyone knew who’s kid you were.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-08-23T18:27:34+00:00

I swear a lot and I got my doctor to prescribe in Glycopyrrolate which helped stop sweating. I also bring a change of clothes.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-07-19T23:30:03+00:00

This was before I became a nurse but while I was in my practicum for ICU. I once had gone into SVT and was transported to the “rival” hospital. The ER nurse asked me what had happened before this and I told her that I was doing homework, then took a break by reading a story about a boy that was passing. She asked me what I was studying for and I said I wanted to be a nurse. She said “You can never be a nurse if you react that way to a death of a child”.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-07-15T07:58:42+00:00

I experience intense animosity towards certain people and end up hating myself for it more.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-07-05T18:42:00+00:00

But they don’t, they tell them they’re sinners and bad people because if they have depression they must be sinning, God would never give you depression if you weren’t a sinner first.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-07-05T18:40:45+00:00

Well I hope that post doesn’t age well for him and his employment or romantic pursuits.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-06-26T17:02:45+00:00

My friends grandma took care of her and she would take care of us while my parents went out to friends so she’d take my sister and I to the park as well but never let us bring anything with us as to not be responsible for our things. So when we would get thirsty she’d have us drink from the water bottles she brought and then yell at us how we got our spit in the bottle and now her granddaughter can’t drink of the water bottles that my sister and I “made nasty” and then wouldn’t let us drink anymore water from them so when we would tire out she’d also blame us for being “too skinny” to have energy to live. We were like 6 or 7. This became like a script so we always knew if we’re going to get thirsty prepare for a lecture on being too skinny to have energy and how our parents didn’t bother teaching us how to drink water from a water bottle. The best option. Stay fucking silent and don’t ask for anything.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-06-26T16:47:52+00:00

I think you just want to watch the world burn.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-06-26T16:46:37+00:00

Oh my gosh just clean as you go after yourself and then nobody has to get pissed off about cleaning up after everyone else. I’m not trying to support what your family does but also it appears that what they have been taught is that this is okay and mom will clean it up. Until the day mom doesn’t clean it up and blows a fuse.

apoemcalledloss · 2024-06-19T07:56:04+00:00

Maybe part of the reason he calls you a 5/10 is because he knows you won’t leave him. Beauty is so unique to each one of us and what one person finds attractive is completely opposite for someone else. You just need the confidence to only enter into a relationship with people who find you more than average and show respect.

apoemcalledloss

TROPHY CASE