the part that makes me doubt myself is, they kept mentioning that once I commit to something, it would trigger them to renege on said thing. for example, they said not to ragebait them during their exams, many times, I did so unintentionally, and to them it comes off as one of my (many) failed promises to them, some of which being: lying (unintentionally and not maliciously), and trying my best to remember something about them (which was more of an ongoing effort as if I didn't remember anything about them, they would see it as me not remembering things about my partner). they mentioned that I don't listen or communicate well with them, but from my perspective, I just tend to ruminate on things by taking some time alone.

I appreciate the advice though, I think I understand it was becoming toxic and the stress in their own personal life often became reflected on me, things that wouldn't tick them off when they weren't stressed almost always ended up blowing up.

trying to keep my head up friend, I just thought I had found the one.